ok, so everyone knows she fucked up on SNL, but her mb went completly nuts. this is the funniest thing to happen to the friggin internet all this MONTH.
supposedly it started with what actually seemd like ashlee posting on her own board.
Quote:
10/24/2004 7:32:18 PM - by Ashlee Simpson
I lip-sync, so sue me.
You have no idea what it's like having millions of dollars being spent trying to make you a star.
10/24/2004 7:40:56 PM - by Ashlee Simpson
My band made ME look bad! They played the wrong song and the snl audio engineer queued up the vocal track to go along with it. They screwed over my career and that's why i didn't let them onstage. I'M SO SICK OF OF BEING BATTERED RIGHT NOW!
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any serious rebuttal against these statements (fake or otherwise) were neatly ducked in favor of:
Quote:
Ashlee, I'd rather eat dog shit than meet you in real life
10/24/2004 9:39:50 PM - by TehVestibule
I'm a preist and I force children to give me blowjobs, and even I think you're a toxic waste of life.
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Quote:
Kerry Accuses Bush of Ashlee Lip Synch
10/24/2004 9:28:39 PM - by Public_front
Kerry Said, "When I'm President, there will be no more Lip Synching. I have a proud history of supporting music"
Kerry Later Said, "I was a Mili Vanili fan, until I wasn't. Ba Ba Ba Ba Bushy, please vote for me in No Vem ba"
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i thought this one was hilarious:
Quote:
Ashlee's life is much less significant than the Garbasail
10/24/2004 9:48:06 PM - by ronson
What is the Garbasail you may ask? I simply built a giant wind sail out of garbage bags, and I flew away. You can too, check it out at: http://www.garbasail.com
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Quote:
#ABORTION ON EFNET (IRC) LIVE ASHLEE CHAT.
10/24/2004 9:56:35 PM - by styckx
EYE GN0 MACULY CULKIN, HE WUZ MUH BEST FRIEND IN 3RD GRADE, WE UZED 2 REEED HIZ M0DARS PLAY GIRL MAGAZINE
#abortion @ efnet ......
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Quote:
no second season!!
10/24/2004 9:54:05 PM - by starface000
ashlee is sorry to tell her fans, but there will be no second season of the ashlee simpson show. it seems that the girl who used to be in a religious show and sang to sick children has changed her ways...
ashlee simpson recently admitted to having a sexual relatlionship with her father and sister since she was three. she told everyone to get the word out and said that she was so rebelious and rock, that she didnt care what anyone thought. ashlee simpson just wanted to let the world know that she takes it up the ass from her dad so he can cum in her and not worry about incest babies...
and now that shes famous, she has been hanging out with hollywood party girls, having them buy drinks for her, breaking the law, damage her liver, possibly have a car accident...and when shes drunk, she stumbles into her dads room and tells him to make a cum puddle in her chin crater...
ashlee is finally liberated...she can now be an alcoholic who fucks her dad, and she doenst care what anyone says...she will be too busy for a second season, but look for her first season coming to dvd soon...it featurs a bonus disc called fuck fest 2004...
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this guy was kinda scary, though:
Quote:
I DRINK ASHLEE SIMPSON'S PERIOD BLOOD
10/24/2004 10:18:54 PM - by dentm56
LISTEN ASHLEE SIMPSON I WILL CUT OFF YOUR NIPPLES AND USE THEM AS COASTERS YOU CUM GUZZLING CUNT OF A GUTTER SLUT RIGHT NOW I'M LUBING UP MY 35 INCH COCK WITH YOUR BLOODY TEARS I WILL SKULLFUCK YOU I LOVE THE FEELING OF YOUR SLIMY BRAINS ON MY THROBBING PENIS
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Quote:
PIECES OF ME? MORE LIKE PIECES OF YOUR SKULL IN MY BLOODY SH
10/24/2004 10:27:06 PM - by dentm56
ASHLEE'S DIAHRREA IS SPRAYING ALL OVER MY SHAVED PUSSY AND THEN I STRAP A KNIFE TO MY COCK AND TITTY FUCK HER OH MY GOD BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE MY CUM SHOOTS INTO HER EMPTY EYESOCKET YELLOWCARD 4EVAAAAAAAA
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yellowcard 4eva
Quote:
Nick Lachey In Trouble After Switching SNL Tapes
10/24/2004 10:37:47 PM - by LipSyncHoe
"It was a joke that went to far." lamented a distraught Jessica Simpson in an interview Sunday night. Nick did it to get back at her for replacing a stack of his headshots with 8x10 photos of her vagina.
Story developing.
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Quote:
+BREAKING+ ASHLEE FOUND WMD IN IRAQ BY DANCING GROUND
10/25/2004 12:02:51 AM - by pavewayIII
+BREAKING+ ASHLEE FOUND WMD IN IRAQ BY DANCING GROUND
+BREAKING+ ASHLEE FOUND WMD IN IRAQ BY DANCING GROUND
+BREAKING+ ASHLEE FOUND WMD IN IRAQ BY DANCING GROUND
+BREAKING+ ASHLEE FOUND WMD IN IRAQ BY DANCING GROUND
+BREAKING+ ASHLEE FOUND WMD IN IRAQ BY DANCING GROUND
+BREAKING+ ASHLEE FOUND WMD IN IRAQ BY DANCING GROUND
+BREAKING+ ASHLEE FOUND WMD IN IRAQ BY DANCING GROUND
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Quote:
Artist to perform on SNL next week
10/25/2004 12:10:43 AM - by Madvillian
Nu Garbasail Le Sweat
Band's comments include:
"Ayo, that nigga Ashlee owes us 500 duckets for the cocaine we stashed in her nose!!"
"We makin moves!!"
"Peep the mixtape!!"
"Yo watch Slimmy down this vaginal discharge!! Get the funnel y'all!!"
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Quote:
ASHLEE LOVED IT
10/25/2004 5:05:52 AM - by GEORGE_ZIMMER
HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT I UNSHEATHED MY MUNGO MAN SPOUT FROM MY JEANS AND FLOPPED IT DOWN IN FRONT OF ASHLEE - HER SENILE DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOR TAPPED AT HER CEILING BECAUSE OF THE CLAMOR. SHE WAS BARELY ABLE TO NIBBLE AT MY PLUMP, PRODIGIOUS MEMBER BEFORE I GRABBED IT LIKE A LASSO AND SMACKED HER ACROSS THE FACE SO HARD SHE FLEW, SPINNING, ONTO THE BED BENT OVER - AWAITING THE ADMISSION OF MY THROBBING ACREAGE OF FLESH. SHE COULD ONLY TAKE 30 SECONDS OF HALF MY SCROTAL CAMEL BEFORE SHE FAINTED. I FINISHED UP AND BESTOWED A STUNNING LIKENESS OF THE POPE ON HER BACK IN BABY SPACKLE. I USED HER TOOTH BRUSH AS TOILET PAPER AND LEFT A QUARTER ON HER ASS. SHE CALLED ME FOUR TIMES TODAY.
I GUARANTEE IT.
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