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Old Oct 15th, 2010, 11:57 PM        peter benchley's The beast
we all know jaws was an excellent film, heck i went through three copies of the 25th anniversary edition myself. And while i don't care as much for the sequels, i'd like to bring anyone who is unaware's attention to a miniseries by the name of Peter Benchley's The Beast.

it's been a while since i last saw it so please bear with me. this is all from memory and mine sucks.

The scene opens on a man and a woman in a fancy boat, perhaps a yacht. could be a schooner for all i know. They're clearly either in love or just married and after a few minutes on camera, head down below deck for some screwing. thankfully the movie doesn't linger on this, and we're not treated to any man ass shots.

as the movie continues, they come back up to enjoy the fresh sea air. All of a sudden something bumps their boat and it jerks violently. This frightens them just a little until it happens again shortly after. One of the two has gone missing, most likely the wife. The ship is rammed again as the remaining person frantically searches the water for his love.

After another bump he decides to leave without her in a tiny inflatable life raft. He gets in just as the boat finishes sinking(Forgot to mention that), when all of a sudden his pathetic little life raft is bumped from beneathe. After looking around quickly we see a flash of what looks like a giant snake-like portrusion, and is just as agile. the scene then fades to black, and an awesome musical score is played as the title is displayed.

The "film" is one of the finest ways to spend an afternoon in my book and i don't want to spoil it for anyone that hasn't seen it, i must however speak of the greatest line ever. It happens near the end of the movie when they are trying to return home with what they believe is the beast's dead carcass.

The hero suggests they do something fairly intelligent, but what one of the cast, a man playing a money grubbing aquarium owner says, has pushed the main character's concern out of my, and quite frankly the other people with him's mind.

"We can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Well she...she ain't dead. she's just...sleeping."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I Didn't inject her with the cyanide."

"But i saw you inject her with it myself."

"That was a chemical we use down at the aquarium. It's called Philabarbitol. I Just slipped her a big ol' mickey."

I Remember those lines more clearly than the rest of the four hour production, and when the beast wakes up, it's quite pissed at being dragged behind a boat with skewers in it. It promptly breaks free and eats one of the most infuriating movie assholes i've EVER seen.

So if you enjoyed jaws in any capacity as an expertly crafted story, i can't reccommend the beast enough. Peter benchley was an immensely talented writer and it truly saddens me that he's gone.
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