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James · #1

If you're not attractive and/or you're not rich, you have nothing going for you to get a girl immediately interested in you. And without that, it gets set in her mind that you're just a friend.

Now, there's got to be psychological methods to kind of brainwash and/or hypnotize the girl into developing feelings for you. So, what are they?

Slinky Ferret · #2

If you can make a girl laugh and prove you're not a bastard in the end they will fall for you. Maybe after screwing the rest of your class but hey!

As I said before, girls go after bastards and then end up marrying the good lads.

James · #3

No. Anyone have some advice that works?

Slinky Ferret · #4

There are girls that aren't shallow. It just takes time to find them.

Snatchtastic · #5

Roofees and Vodka.

da blob · #6

Rape.

Slinky Ferret · #7

You can't force someone to have feelings for you. Or rather you can't force someone to love you. But I think you can influence they way they like you by subtle ways. I've had friends that I ended up going out with that I had previously regarded as just friends. If you like a girl spend more time with her, make her laugh, be there for her and in the end it will pay off.

Cosmo Electrolux · #8

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slinky Ferret

There are girls that aren't shallow. It just takes time to find them.

They must all live in the UK....

except Doopa and Glowbelly, but they're taken already....
and Chimp, but he's a whore....

Dole · #9

"They must all live in the UK" -I know of at least one, but she's taken.

James: tell them you are held in some regard on a prominent message board. That is bound to do it.

Matt Harty · #10

Always look for oppurtunities to help them with a problem. If they look sad or something help them fix it. Give advice and stuff, they'll talk to you more often. And touch alot, not grabbing ass but flirting.

Dole · #11

Thats also how to be jesus

Anonymous · #12

lol :<

AChimp · #13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cosmo Electrolux

and Chimp, but he's a whore....

You gotta treat me right, though.

kellychaos · #14

Follow the "be helpful" advice but not to the point of being kittywhipped and then, at the first available opportunity, attack and degrade their self-esteem to the point where they become totally co-dependent ... but do it in steps and don't make it obvious.

Slinky Ferret · #15

Yes men are all bastards underneath!

Big McLargehuge · #16

HEY GUYS THERE IS THIS GIRL AND I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH HER BUT SHE IS ALL LIKE "LEAVE ME ALONE" AND "I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE COME OUT RIGHT NOW" HOW DO I CONVICE HER THAT GOD SENT HER TO BEAR MY CHILD?

da blob · #17

Rape.

Big McLargehuge · #18

That didn't work the first time what makes you think that it will work now

?

Terra · #19

Rape usually works for ONE person.

Bobo Adobo · #20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matt Harty

Always look for oppurtunities to help them with a problem. If they look sad or something help them fix it. Give advice and stuff, they'll talk to you more often. And touch alot, not grabbing ass but flirting.

But thats what gay guys do.

Perndog · #21

Quote:

If you like a girl spend more time with her, make her laugh, be there for her and in the end it will pay off.

Does anyone here NOT think Slinky Ferret is completely full of shit? Anyone?

That's not how it works. At all. What women say is never, ever, EVER the truth because they are all either unable to understand how their own minds work (like in your case) or unwilling to admit it.

Terra · #22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perndog

That's not how it works. At all. What women say is never, ever, EVER the truth because they are all either unable to understand how their own minds work (like in your case) or unwilling to admit it.

Oh good. Somebody's nuts have just descended out of his body cavity long enough for his mind to dwell upon the mysteries of the female id.

We need more experts in this very area around here.

AChimp · #23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perndog

Does anyone here NOT think Slinky Ferret is completely full of shit? Anyone?

That's not how it works. At all. What women say is never, ever, EVER the truth because they are all either unable to understand how their own minds work (like in your case) or unwilling to admit it.

WTF? Slinky gives good advice. I'd rather be a nice guy and face the possibility of never scoring than stoop to being an asshole to attract women.