How to trick girls into thinking they like you?

[rainbowbrite]

I know I would

[Terra]

Originally Posted by Schimid

You'd fall in love with a pile of leaves if I raked it for you.

Only if you buried youself six feet under it, goosefart.

[maggiekarp]

Necrophilia?


I don't really have any good advice for this sort of thing... I mean, if I'm lonely, I'll be sad for a while and then when I stop being sad someone falls in my lap, kinda.

Then again, I've only had two relationships so far...


Be yourself, minus asshatness, I guess.

[James]

Originally Posted by AChimp

WTF? Slinky gives good advice. I'd rather be a nice guy and face the possibility of never scoring than stoop to being an asshole to attract women.

Who the fuck is saying anything about acting like an asshole? I'm talking about psychology here. I know there's certain things you can do to help put females into the mindset of being interested in you, but I just don't know them all that well.

It works the other way, too. Like, girls can put it into a guy's head by touching their arm alot or some shit like that.

[AChimp]

I was talking to Perndog, but while we're on the topic of you again, why do you worry about this so much? There's something called TRYING TOO HARD.

Of course, if you really want women to be interested in you, everyone who's anyone know's the secret is Axe Effect.

[Perndog]

Originally Posted by Terra

Oh good. Somebody's nuts have just descended out of his body cavity long enough for his mind to dwell upon the mysteries of the female id.

We need more experts in this very area around here.

Of course, I'm also the one who's not really into women. Figure that out if you like.

[The Retro Kat]

Originally Posted by Terra

goosefart.

LIEK, OMG, NOW IM NOT GUNNA SECKS YOU, AND 9 INCHES BY THE WAY

[Terra]

[rainbowbrite]

Is james' sig. reffering to you terra?

I must've missed that

[Terra]

Yep. I've been immortalized.

[James]

Originally Posted by AChimp

I was talking to Perndog, but while we're on the topic of you again, why do you worry about this so much? There's something called TRYING TOO HARD.

I'm apparently not trying hard enough, because in the end, I'm always just a friend who gets disposed of.

Stop trying to fight with me, and give me some tips. None of this "just be yourself" or "stop worrying about it" or "James is a faggot." I want guaranteed tips to get girls to fucking want me so bad, they carve my name into their wrists and pull their hair out if they haven't talked to me in almost 3 hours.

[Black Flag]

i think meeting girls who don't sell naked pictures of themselves on the internet is the first step.

[sadie]

try this.

[Jixby Phillips]

**** /// [b]KILL YOURSELD\\\ ****

[Perndog]

James: http://www.doubleyourdating.com

I have geek friends who swear by this guy's work. They're still geeks but now they get laid, and about a third of the chicks I see them with actually meet my own standards. One out of three winners ain't bad compared to nothing.

If you don't want to pay for the book, it can be downloaded on Kazaa, and he also has columns on some dating advice site. Just search for David DeAngelo on Google.

Good luck.

[The Fifth Man]

If you want girls to worship you, become rich and famous and
get looots o' plastic surgery so you're superhumanly hot.

Otherwise, listen to the ferret and the monkey. They know what
they're talking about.

[DamnthatDavid]

The Animals are right. Must be instinctive.

Treat women as equals, weaker equals that you must help out often, but equals.

[Slinky Ferret]

Originally Posted by James

I'm apparently not trying hard enough, because in the end, I'm always just a friend who gets disposed of.

Stop trying to fight with me, and give me some tips. None of this "just be yourself" or "stop worrying about it" or "James is a faggot." I want guaranteed tips to get girls to fucking want me so bad, they carve my name into their wrists and pull their hair out if they haven't talked to me in almost 3 hours.

So you want an obsessive girlfriend then. One that will become incredibly jealous when you even look at another female, not to mention attempt to read any emails and txts from any female, jump to erratic conclusions and generally make your life a living hell?

It will start out fun, but deteriate into the above. Trust me you don't want a girl like that. All girls can become like that especially when they have been hurt badly in the past. I stand guilty myself, I've been like that for a while.

I had a friend who was so in love with me that he carved my name into his arm. He was my best friend, but I just could never view him as anything else. One reason was his insistance to go out with me. He would phone me up everyday and ask! :/

The whole key to getting into a relationship with a girl is timing and not being over eager. If a girl can learn to trust you, she can learn to love you.

[Slinky Ferret]

Originally Posted by Perndog

Does anyone here NOT think Slinky Ferret is completely full of shit? Anyone?

That's not how it works. At all. What women say is never, ever, EVER the truth because they are all either unable to understand how their own minds work (like in your case) or unwilling to admit it.

:/ I may not be every girl in the world, but I do know that I prefer to have a relationship with men that make me laugh and are good friends rather than the ones who have stunning looks and macho ego. I've fallen for more men who were there for me than ones I've met randomly.

[Dole]

James: This has been said to you a bazillion times, but maybe if you went out in to the world and werent reliant on meeting a girl on the net it would be easier.

[James]

Originally Posted by Dole

James: This has been said to you a bazillion times, but maybe if you went out in to the world and werent reliant on meeting a girl on the net it would be easier.

This internet joke shit is really fucking old. When did I even say anything about the internet here, huh? Yeah, that's what I thought. No shut the fuck up with your faggoty internet cracks and give me some actual advice.

Slinky, I keep forgetting you're a female. That automatically discredits anything you have to say. You're just a lying bitch, trying to cover up the truth with "Oh just be friends. I like friends blah blah blah." You're too fucking afraid to admit the truth about what women really want, and want to keep up this image of wholesome movie goodness bullshit of a happy ending for the good guys. So fucking shove it up your English ass and just fucking come out with the facts.

You're all worse than me. Fuck.

[AChimp]

I still don't see what you're whining about. You can get a date with Palmela Handerson anytime you want.

[Terra]

It's not hard to see why the women are just queuing up to your front door, James.

First of all, the ferret has great advice. You ought to just fucking take the advice from a "woman" for once in your miserable fucking existence. You might actually get further on down the road in the romantic vector, that is if you can get over yourself long enough to acknowledge the fact it just MIGHT take some sensitivity on your part to do so. The very fact that you want to "trick" somebody into liking you has all the ingredients of a Jerry Seinfeld farce. This is psychology gone berserk.

What women really REALLY like is somebody who is sensitive, caring and tender. THIS is the big mystery. From these three traits ALL good things flow.

But you probably will never get it. Your idea of making love to a woman is to beat the shit out of her with a baseball bat and then assfucking her into a coma. In some cultures that might be fine but your in the wrong hemisphere for that shit.

[sspadowsky]

Originally Posted by James

I'm apparently not trying hard enough, because in the end, I'm always just a friend who gets disposed of.

Stop trying to fight with me, and give me some tips. None of this "just be yourself" or "stop worrying about it" or "James is a faggot." I want guaranteed tips to get girls to fucking want me so bad, they carve my name into their wrists and pull their hair out if they haven't talked to me in almost 3 hours.

Careful what you wish for, Jimmy. I mean like a "monkey's paw" warning. BeeeeeeeWAAAARRRRREEEE!

I normally stay the hell out of this forum, because it's mostly comprised of fruitcakes, but I'll throw my hat in the ring on this one.

Stop fucking worrying about it. Having a woman does not make you a great person, nor a fulfilled person, and it definitely won't make you a happy person. Not on under terms you're dictating. And if you get one under those terms, it won't make you happy, because you'll find out it's not the answer to all of life's problems.

So forget about it. Play video games and drink beer and go to school and do all that normal shit, and a chick will fall into your lap when you're not expecting it. Put it out of your mind. Think of this exchange between Val Kilmer and Robert DeNiro in the movie Heat:

"When are you gonna get an old lady?"
"When I get around to it."

'Be like Bobby D.' This is your mantra. Now shut up, already.

[Dole]

Jamesikins, read your reply and every topic you have ever posted in this forum, and maybe you can piece together the teensy weensy clues as to why you may perhaps have been less than successful with the ladies.


You can insult me and ferret all you want (I suggest a specific thread set aside for this), but you are the one seriously seeking advice on your lovelife from a messageboard full of virtual strangers to you.

You asked for advice, and I stand by mine lad. Now think on