Features

CaptainBubba · #1

I went to www.buddypic.com and found this profile

The following AIM conversation ensued:

dscoM0nkie: Omg are you really violent? omg...
VIOLNT CHILD: who the fuck is this?
dscoM0nkie: I don't know. I'm so scared and alone. don't hurt me
VIOLNT CHILD: real funny dumbshit.
dscoM0nkie: im sorry
dscoM0nkie: do you hate me?
dscoM0nkie: I knew it.
VIOLNT CHILD: uh who the fuck is this?
dscoM0nkie: A loser who found your profile on some website
VIOLNT CHILD: ohh
dscoM0nkie: I thoiught it was funny
dscoM0nkie: and I is bored
VIOLNT CHILD: thought what was funny, did you look at your ugly ass picture fuckface?
dscoM0nkie: omg so mean. :'(
VIOLNT CHILD: uh yea.
dscoM0nkie: ok ok, I thought your profile was badazz hardcore!!
dscoM0nkie: but i know you dont care
VIOLNT CHILD: yea i don't care.
dscoM0nkie: i know. ;-)
VIOLNT CHILD: mhmm.
dscoM0nkie: why so mean? I thought pot made you all happy and stuff
VIOLNT CHILD: wtf do you know about weed anyways shithead?
dscoM0nkie: omg I'm not a shithead. :'(. I had friends who smoked it. they used to twich alot and eneded up braindead, but they were the nicest peoples.
dscoM0nkie: i liked em
VIOLNT CHILD: good.
dscoM0nkie: u mean to me. :'(
VIOLNT CHILD: hahaha
VIOLNT CHILD: you're a fagget.
dscoM0nkie: ?
VIOLNT CHILD: yea uh huh. you heard me... FAGGET.
dscoM0nkie: noooooo
dscoM0nkie: NOOOOO
VIOLNT CHILD: see you in hell FAGGET
VIOLNT CHILD: yess...
dscoM0nkie: NOOOOO
VIOLNT CHILD: YESSSS
dscoM0nkie: I'm gonna kill myself if you don't take that back mrs.mean
VIOLNT CHILD: i'm not taking it back.
dscoM0nkie: I'm getting out the razor blade
VIOLNT CHILD: you can die along with everybody right now, or when i blow the U.S up. Pick and chose bitch.
dscoM0nkie: omg, why you gonna blow the U.S up?
dscoM0nkie: so much anger...
VIOLNT CHILD: yea bitch.
dscoM0nkie: omg why?
VIOLNT CHILD: because i'm not as gay as you are screwing the same sex in the ass.
dscoM0nkie: only on holidays.
dscoM0nkie: but seriously, why so much anger?
dscoM0nkie: I've got nothing but love for everyone.
dscoM0nkie: but all u do is hate. :'(
VIOLNT CHILD: damn right.
dscoM0nkie: I think you need a hug.
VIOLNT CHILD: hug me i'll stab your crotch.
dscoM0nkie: thatd hurt. Thats a sensitive place yunno
VIOLNT CHILD: no your mind is a sensetive place,
dscoM0nkie: thats true too! Dont stab me either place pls. pls.
dscoM0nkie: So i guess me and you are kind a couple now right?
VIOLNT CHILD signed off at 12:53:36 AM.
VIOLNT CHILD signed on at 12:53:51 AM.
dscoM0nkie: OMG IM IN YOUR PROFILE. I love you.
VIOLNT CHILD: shut up assfuck.
dscoM0nkie: I'm sorry.:'(
dscoM0nkie: yunoo words can hurt...
VIOLNT CHILD: WHY THE HELL DID YOU IM ME???
dscoM0nkie: I'm bored, and I liked your profile.
VIOLNT CHILD: what'd your name on buddy pic?
dscoM0nkie: same as mine here but its an old bad pic. have fun rating me a 0. ;-)
dscoM0nkie: cuz you're mean like that. ;-) ;-)
VIOLNT CHILD: i can't even see you fagget.
dscoM0nkie: here, ill link
VIOLNT CHILD: link what?
dscoM0nkie: my buddy thing
dscoM0nkie: http://www.buddypic.com/profile.php?username=Dsco M0nkie
VIOLNT CHILD: i see your pic, but i can't see YOU.
dscoM0nkie: ya, its a bad pic
VIOLNT CHILD: it's a small pic.
VIOLNT CHILD: get a good pic.
dscoM0nkie: I will then. I need to take a pic sometime
VIOLNT CHILD: ya
dscoM0nkie: it is late, and i am going to go to bed. but some day, for no reason at all, probably late at night, I will IM you again.
VIOLNT CHILD: ok. whatever
dscoM0nkie: stay mean. ;-)
VIOLNT CHILD: die in your sleep.
dscoM0nkie: i can only pray
VIOLNT CHILD: oh yes.
VIOLNT CHILD: hey
VIOLNT CHILD: where are you from anyways?
VIOLNT CHILD: mars?
dscoM0nkie: Yes.
dscoM0nkie: I'm from Mars

AChimp · #2

"Bubba, you got shot!"

Sorry, I've always wanted to post that in a thread created by you.

Esuohlim · #3

I did this one a while ago and put it on my site.

ENetuohnav: Congratulations!
PLAYBOY48135721: whut
ENetuohnav: You have been chosen for tonight's round of the Super Fantastic Late Night Game Show Extravagana!
PLAYBOY48135721: ok
ENetuohnav: Are you excited?!
PLAYBOY48135721: yea
ENetuohnav: Are you completely shocked at this once-in-a-life-time chance?!
PLAYBOY48135721: yea
ENetuohnav: ARE YOU REALLY?!
PLAYBOY48135721: yea
ENetuohnav:AWESOME! Let's get started! You know the rules, right?
PLAYBOY48135721: no
ENetuohnav: Well, it's rather simple. I ask 27 questions and you answer them. Answer 23 out of all 27 and you win fabulous prizes! Answer between 17 and 23 and you get not-so-fabulous prizes! Answer less than 17 correct and you give us your address, where we'll proceed to knock on your door and horribly pummel you to death! Got it?
PLAYBOY48135721: whuts pummle mean
ENetuohnav: I'm terribly sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer was "chicken". Don't worry, there's still 26 questions left!
PLAYBOY48135721: whut the fuck
ENetuohnav: Tsk tsk! Just for that, we are whittling the questions down to 24. I'm absolutely sorry, but we need to tone down the profanity a little.
PLAYBOY48135721: sry
ENetuohnav: Great! Question #2: Spell "extravaganza".
PLAYBOY48135721: extravanza
ENetuohnav: I'm sorry, that's incorrect as well! You needed a "ga" before the "n". Tough luck.
PLAYBOY48135721: i mean extravgnaza
PLAYBOY48135721: damnit
ENetuohnav: Whoops! Oh dear, the questions go down to 21. It appears that you won't be getting the fabulous prizes after all, which included a brand new DVD Player, a Microsoft Xbox, and 600 dollars in cash!
PLAYBOY48135721: i alredy have a xboz
ENetuohnav: Question #3: How many rods to the hogshead?
PLAYBOY48135721: pass
ENetuohnav: THERE IS NO PASSING!!
PLAYBOY48135721: sry
PLAYBOY48135721: i thnk 15
ENetuohnav: Nope. Sorry. Question #4: What does the Caps Lock key do on a keyboard?
PLAYBOY48135721: makes letters captal
ENetuohnav: I'm sorry, what was that?
PLAYBOY48135721: makes the ltters capital
ENetuohnav: Speak up, please.
PLAYBOY48135721: IT MAKES THE FUCKING LETTRS CAPITAL
ENetuohnav: Although the ironic use of the Caps Lock key in order to answer that particular question was too funny, I must bring the question amount down 3 once again for the use of profanity, and since you've answered less than the 17 required, I'm going to need your address.
PLAYBOY48135721: you know what fuck it
PLAYBOY48135721: this is bullshit man
PLAYBOY48135721: i bet thsi game shwo isnt even oficial
ENetuohnav: Address, please?
PLAYBOY48135721: fuck you man
PLAYBOY48135721: fcuk you to hell man
PLAYBOY48135721: im blocking you
PLAYBOY48135721: go away and leave me alone
ENetuohnav: FINE, FUCK YOU TOO, SIR!

CaptainBubba · #4

How did you find him? That one was much better than mine.

Anonymous · #5

I like esuohlim :<

Ninjavenom · #6

Neat trick, Chojin. :o

Besides, Mine is the best:

PhantasmaZero: GREETINGS, MORTAL!
HeatherLu22: who are you?
PhantasmaZero: i am THOR: GOD OF THUNDER
PhantasmaZero: i have come to give thee my blessing!
HeatherLu22: Ya ok
HeatherLu22: ya
PhantasmaZero: By ODIN, i bless thy mortal existence!
PhantasmaZero: Under the watchful gaze of THOR shalt thou life be guarded!
HeatherLu22: ok
HeatherLu22: right
PhantasmaZero: How shalt i be of service to thee?
HeatherLu22: OK shut up this is Prob likr Todd or someone
HeatherLu22: like**
PhantasmaZero: nay, it is not Todd!
PhantasmaZero: How would this... TODD have access to two AIM accounts at once?
HeatherLu22: ok who is it Then HUH?
PhantasmaZero: This is none other than the son of ODIN himself!
HeatherLu22: OK your relaly stupid if you think im going to belive that
HeatherLu22: now tell me who this is
PhantasmaZero: Why dost thou doubt me, o mortal one?
PhantasmaZero: What would a mighty god such as i have to gain from LYING to thee?
HeatherLu22: Duh this is Todd im not DUMB
PhantasmaZero: Nay, Mortal, it is not, for i am carrying a conversation with todd as WE SPEAK!!
PhantasmaZero: millionsknives01: excellent smithers
PhantasmaZero: excellent indeed
HeatherLu22: O ok
PhantasmaZero: Thor has proven himself!
HeatherLu22: whatever im not talking to you if i dont know you
PhantasmaZero: fine, fine
PhantasmaZero: it's steve
HeatherLu22: whos Steve
PhantasmaZero: just kidding
PhantasmaZero: it's DIRK
PhantasmaZero: GOD OF NORMALITY
PhantasmaZero: and NON-AMAZING POWERS
PhantasmaZero: 'Twas by the gift fo a friend that i obtained this mortal screen name!
PhantasmaZero: ...please pay attention to me :-( :'(
HeatherLu22: OK
HeatherLu22: SHUT UP!
PhantasmaZero: please...
PhantasmaZero: just let Thor love you. :-(
HeatherLu22: HWat?
HeatherLu22: what***
HeatherLu22: i dont want to be loved by some one i dont know
PhantasmaZero: Thor just wants to bestow upon thee his immortal affection :-(
PhantasmaZero: how dost thou not know the face of Thor??
HeatherLu22: omg who i this?
PhantasmaZero: Dost thou livesn't under a rock?
PhantasmaZero: it's anyone but Dirk
HeatherLu22: O ok
HeatherLu22: i belive that one
PhantasmaZero: ...or IS IT??
PhantasmaZero: Thor has tricked you, o mortal one. :-(
HeatherLu22: NO NOW YOU ARE GOING TO TELL ME WHO THIS IS BEFORE I GET REALLY MAD
PhantasmaZero: fine, fine
PhantasmaZero: it's Kyle
HeatherLu22: OMG SHUT UP AND TELL ME
HeatherLu22: NOW
HeatherLu22: no its not
HeatherLu22: Kyle who??
PhantasmaZero: i just did, mortal
PhantasmaZero: Kyle Karfer
HeatherLu22: Why are you saying MORTAL
PhantasmaZero: because thou are not a god, mortal
HeatherLu22: duh your stupid shut up and GO AWAY
HeatherLu22: omg
PhantasmaZero: why? :-(
PhantasmaZero: i am so lonely as the god of thunder
HeatherLu22: shut up
HeatherLu22: cuz i dont know you and i dont belive your kyle so GO A WAY
PhantasmaZero: whenever i get close to mortal woman, she SNAPS IN HALF AND HER ENTRAILS BURST FORTH FROM HER LIKE A STEAMING FAUCET OF GUTS!
PhantasmaZero: please, just let me talk dirty to you
PhantasmaZero: just for like... five minutes
HeatherLu22: NO
PhantasmaZero: pretty please?
PhantasmaZero: mortal
PhantasmaZero: i have never held a woman's hand!!
PhantasmaZero: there, i said it!
HeatherLu22: Look i have a boyfriend and to me you talking dirty to me im sure he wouldnt like that and i dont even knwo you and shit so NO
PhantasmaZero: he lets me talk dirty to him all the time
HeatherLu22: and i want this time for me and him to work
HeatherLu22:
PhantasmaZero: i did just last night, after a delightful romp in the sack after school, we began merrymaking and cavorting like there is no tomorrow
PhantasmaZero: i bonked him on his silly head with my hammer, and he did the same to me with his, what's the big deal?
PhantasmaZero: besides, if i wasn't Kyle, would i listen to Eminem??
HeatherLu22: ya ok well bye i dont care
PhantasmaZero: ...please?
HeatherLu22: ya ok
HeatherLu22: right BYE
PhantasmaZero: come on, it won't be bad, just for like two minutes
PhantasmaZero: you'll like it, i promise
HeatherLu22: NO
PhantasmaZero: ask Dirk, he won't mind, really
PhantasmaZero: he told me so
PhantasmaZero: he said to me he said "Kyle, if you want to talk to my girlfriend pretending you are Thor and ask her if you can talk dirty to her, it's fine by me"
PhantasmaZero: endquote.
HeatherLu22: yu dont even know dirk
PhantasmaZero: There, it's a fact.
PhantasmaZero: yes i do
PhantasmaZero: i talk to him all the time after school
PhantasmaZero: we once threw mashed potatoes at the principal's wig
HeatherLu22: i dont care
PhantasmaZero: ask Marky, i talk to dirk all the time
HeatherLu22: ok if you talk to dirk so much when did we star going out and how di you know his name was DIRK
PhantasmaZero: once we went to see a movie and in the bathroom he peed on ym foot (
HeatherLu22: ya ok
PhantasmaZero: today!!
PhantasmaZero: :-D
PhantasmaZero: he told me you don't put out because you say hugging leads to sex
PhantasmaZero: what's up with that?
PhantasmaZero: well, miss prude?
HeatherLu22: look im not talking to you!!! and im not fucken PRUDE and i didnt even say that cuz you know whta i would have sex with dirk anytime!! SO ha
PhantasmaZero: i'll bet you'd let him put it up your butt, too
HeatherLu22: OK im done talkingt o you cuz i dont even know oyu and im telling you shit you shouldnt know!!! So bye
PhantasmaZero: yeah, you so would
PhantasmaZero: twice if he wanted to
PhantasmaZero: you're sick
HeatherLu22: OK bye
HeatherLu22: I dont care
PhantasmaZero: good lord, he'd rip your anus so wide you'd need a colostomy bag
PhantasmaZero: TWO OF THEM
PhantasmaZero: =-O
PhantasmaZero: i'll bet he rapes your dog when you're no looking, too
HeatherLu22: OK look i dont know oyu and i dont want to so im just going to go and PLEASE just leave me ALNOE!!!
HeatherLu22: what if i told oyu i didnt have a dog??
PhantasmaZero: i'd say you probably grouted the dog's ass out so much it couldn't walk, so it only ate when mice jumped into it's mouth
PhantasmaZero: ...so it died of starvation
PhantasmaZero: well, Mortal goodbye
PhantasmaZero: i am off to the sky
PhantasmaZero: tell Dirk he his hung like a mouse, and i hate his face
PhantasmaZero: love, Kyle
HeatherLu22: OMG Thank you
PhantasmaZero: OMG who are you?
HeatherLu22: N0p
HeatherLu22: No**
HeatherLu22: But wait i thought you talk to him all the time
PhantasmaZero: what?
PhantasmaZero: who?
HeatherLu22: ok im sick of you ill leave if you wont
PhantasmaZero: what are you talking about?
PhantasmaZero: who is this?
HeatherLu22: No who is his
HeatherLu22: this?**
PhantasmaZero: i'm Joe, who are you?
PhantasmaZero: you IMed me, you tell me
HeatherLu22: Joe who?
PhantasmaZero: Joe Whussup
HeatherLu22: No you imed ME
PhantasmaZero: what?
PhantasmaZero: i did no such thing
HeatherLu22: um ya you did
HeatherLu22: how do oyu know about dirk if i dont know oyu and you dont know me??
PhantasmaZero: no i didn't, i was sitting here idle the whole time?
PhantasmaZero: i go to your school, fool
HeatherLu22: what?
HeatherLu22: i dont go to school with no JOE
HeatherLu22: ok so who is this?? cuz i dont go to school with no JOe??
PhantasmaZero: you don't expect me to believe that inn that entire school, there is not one kid named joe?
PhantasmaZero: you're kidding me.
HeatherLu22: Nope
PhantasmaZero: you must be utterly, utterly retarded
PhantasmaZero: have you nrever heard of probability?
PhantasmaZero: you school absolutely cannot exist without a kid named joe
PhantasmaZero: it's physically impossible
HeatherLu22: trust me you dont go to my school and i dont knwo you and you dont knwo me and so just stop talking to me in les you eel like telling em the truth@!!!
PhantasmaZero: bah, off with you, mortal whore.

kahljorn · #7

with candy.

Anonymous · #8

When I do it, I do it in Wordpad and use the Find/Replace function.

Jeanette X · #9

Those were hilarious! Do more! Do more!

Les Waste · #10

LOL @ Milhouse backwards

I've been doing these for years, but I don't remember where I saved them on my computer, or if I even saved any of them.

Anonymous · #11

i really hate people that use 'mortal' in their everyday vocabulary :<

The Retro Kat · #12

Kyle Karfer.

I've got one with this fucked up bitch.

first to know this chick a little better, read teh profile

Albert Fish is aserial killer, he kill a 11 year old girl cut her up and sold her meat, " I didnt fuck around with her, she died a virgan", he kiiled 2 boys, one 6 and one 12, he cooked their flesh and ate it. He abused over 100 childern but only killed 11. He was sent to the electirc chair in 1979, he said he perpared for it like a summer picnic.

life isent a question to ask, its an experins to live

gut the girls, eat the pigs, slash the throght of everyone that lives, make them pay make them suffer, cook them good, make them raw, drink their blood, eat their flesh, but in the end all you have is your life and the dead bodys and roating flesh of the people you ate and the bodys you'ved brained. So make them good have them with some wine, eat their liver with some hot sause, bake their brains in a pie, eat it with some heart to make the pain go away.

now the convo with the sick chick

fallingiraffe: you live on a farm too?
n i r v a n554: yea
fallingiraffe: so, how big is the biggest horse you fucked
n i r v a n554: 24 inches
fallingiraffe: so, how was that
fallingiraffe: are you a guy
n i r v a n554: really good
n i r v a n554: no
fallingiraffe: a shemale
fallingiraffe: ?
n i r v a n554: no a female
fallingiraffe: quite an interesting profile you have there
n i r v a n554: yep
fallingiraffe: but anyway
fallingiraffe: did you think the horse enjoyed it?
n i r v a n554: yea
n i r v a n554: i know hedid
n i r v a n554: i fuck my horses every day
fallingiraffe: so, how did you get up there
fallingiraffe: were you on a stool
fallingiraffe: do you have them lay down?
n i r v a n554: i just fist the female horse
fallingiraffe: do you stick your underdeveloped shemale penis in their asses
fallingiraffe: wait, then what do you mean 24 inches
n i r v a n554: what???????
n i r v a n554: a 24 inch cock
fallingiraffe: how did that one work, the 24 inch cock
n i r v a n554: my horse has a 24 inch cock
fallingiraffe: did you get on a stool
n i r v a n554: what ??????
fallingiraffe: if you fucked a 24 inch horse cock, how did you get it in your vagina?
n i r v a n554: i bent over under the horse and put its cock in my pussy
fallingiraffe: ok, thats all i asked, did it hurt
n i r v a n554: no
fallingiraffe: does any one ever tell you thats fucked up
n i r v a n554: no
fallingiraffe: hmmmm
n i r v a n554: my mom and sis do it with me
fallingiraffe: why do you fuck horses and not people
n i r v a n554: horses are better
n i r v a n554: the cock is bigger
fallingiraffe: im gonna be honest, maybe im the first one to tell you this, but believe me, its true, thats fucked up
fallingiraffe: does it cum all over you and such
n i r v a n554: i konw but its still fun
fallingiraffe: i mean, it is fucked up
fallingiraffe: damn
n i r v a n554: yea
fallingiraffe: has it ever kicked you
n i r v a n554: no
fallingiraffe: it should, cause that is fucked fucked fucked, up
fallingiraffe: im gonna barf for awhile now
fallingiraffe: bye

Esuohlim · #13

It takes a while to get someone good to talk to you. 90% of the time I get people that answer back once or leave right away or actually play along.

I once got someone that was amazed when I told him stuff about himself. After unsuccessful attempts to guess who it was I told him that I was sent from the government to watch over him. The poor bastard started freaking out saying stuff "OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHAT THE HELL?". It didn't occur to him that all his information was IN HIS PROFILE. HE WROTE IT FOR ALL TO SEE. He probably got all upset because there was a part in his profile that said something about doing drugs all the time and killing people and having a criminal record (you know, stuff gothic 16-year-old people that are in chess club at school write in their profile to make them seem tough).

It was the best chat ever and I didn't record it.

SLjimbo · #14

1.) Read profile: http://www.buddypic.com/profile.php?...uthParkBoy45ry.

2.) Read transcript: http://sljimbo.hypermart.net/monkeyboy.htm

There's a link at the bottom of the page. Highlight it to see it.

CaptainBubba · #15

I hate to say it, but that conversation could've been absolutely golden if you'd focused less on the monkey.

Secret Agent Vomit · #16

I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY THREE ZOOS!

SLjimbo · #17

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainBubba

I hate to say it, but that conversation could've been absolutely golden if you'd focused less on the monkey.

Really? Shoot, I was aiming for a Planet of the Apes theme.

Helm · #18

Good thread. Ninjavenom wins

AChimp · #19

@ Ninja

Cap'n Crunch · #20

He IMed me for some reason, and I remembered this thread.

Bssblue22: a/s/l
Maddogmatt741: 21/f/pa
Bssblue22: what do u look like
Maddogmatt741: HOT
Bssblue22: oooook
Maddogmatt741: I have huge tits.
Bssblue22: what size
Maddogmatt741: a/s/l?
Maddogmatt741: 36DD
Bssblue22: 20/m/mo
Maddogmatt741: cool
Bssblue22: u horny
Maddogmatt741: WHAT EVER YOU WANT. :-*
Maddogmatt741: I just got done an operation.
Bssblue22: really
Maddogmatt741: Yeah, now I am a woman.
Maddogmatt741: Are you there?

He stopped bothering me.

liquidstatik · #21

Helm · #22

That's basically Mock's joke for a whole old section of the site. :/

Cap'n Crunch · #23

Oh shit, I knew I saw that somewhere before.

That shows how original I am.

Helm · #24

FAILURE

EverOpening: OMG what do u think about britney stepping out of publicity?
Atate226: what do u mean
EverOpening: I mean, she hasn't done a record for like, ages!
Atate226: yea
Atate226: i think she has lost a lot of fans
EverOpening: The world is a worse place without britney records :'-(
Atate226: yea
Atate226: hey ill brb k
EverOpening: OMG I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS
Atate226: yea but i gtg downstairs real fast
Atate226: brb
EverOpening: I'm scared

*** Auto-response from Atate226:
/`````\ ,.~°\ /°~./`````\,.~°\ /°~.
/ /\ \\ \/````\/ // /\ \\ _ \/ _ /
/ /..\ \\ // /..\ \ | |
°~.,/```\,.~° \,??,/\,??,/ °~.,/```\,.~ |,,,,|

EverOpening: OMG that's pretty cool ASCII
EverOpening: You've abandoned me!
EverOpening: [-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-([-(
EverOpening: JUST like Britney!

(15 minutes pas, I have already given up on this one, then

Atate226: hi
EverOpening: Where were you?
Atate226: talking to my parents
EverOpening: Did you do something wrong?
Atate226: no
EverOpening: I hope not >-@

(very long pause)

Atate226: so who is this
EverOpening: Who is who?
Atate226: you
EverOpening: Oh. I am I.
EverOpening: I am not a robot.
EverOpening: Robots live to serve, but I am aware of my existence.
Atate226: ok
EverOpening: Ok

Atate226: do u have a name
EverOpening: My name is Red. Red Robot. But I'm not one. They just don't know yet. I'm undercover.
Atate226: ok?
EverOpening: Ok

EverOpening: What is your name?
Atate226: allie
EverOpening: Allie. How come you like Britney so much?
Atate226: she just seems like a cool person
EverOpening: But you're a girl!
Atate226: im not in love with her
Atate226: i dont even like her anymore
Atate226: i used to be obsesed
EverOpening: Then what happened?
EverOpening: Did you have a room full of posters?
Atate226: no
EverOpening: Then you were obssessed how?
Atate226: oh sorry yea i had posters
EverOpening: It's good that you admit it. It's good for you to let it all out. Don't worry, I'm not a robot. You can tell me the truth.
EverOpening: I still have my posters up

Atate226: yea
EverOpening: But sometimes I don't want to look at them.
EverOpening: Britney let me down

EverOpening: She let you down.

(egually long pause. She's pondering)

Atate226: yea

(a change in shifts)

Atate226: where do u live
EverOpening: I live in a house. Outside it's green.
EverOpening: Where do you live?
EverOpening: I bet it's a house

Atate226: like a state
EverOpening: A state? My current state is functional.

EverOpening: What is your state?
EverOpening: I can hear the cogs turning, you know

Atate226: cali
EverOpening: Oh. Its the first time anyone discribes their current state so eloquently. If you don't mind, I'll say my state is cali too, from now on

EverOpening: Or do you mind X-(
Atate226: lol
Atate226: where in cali
EverOpening: Right in the middle.
Atate226: what city
EverOpening: I don't know

EverOpening: Tell me more about yourself.
Atate226: like what
EverOpening: Like, what do you do when the seconds pass?
EverOpening: tic toc tic toc some people have internal clocks, you know

EverOpening: But not me. I'm not a robot :I
Atate226: huh
EverOpening:

you do not understand me

EverOpening: I'm making an effort.
Atate226: yea
EverOpening: Please try too. I don't get to communicate much with other sentient beings, and I'd like those times to be special.
EverOpening: Will you be my special friend?

(again, long pause. These are the times of our lives, folks. Important descisions!)

Atate226: sure
EverOpening: Thank you

EverOpening: How old are you, allie?
Atate226: 17
Atate226: u
EverOpening: I've turned 19 a while ago.
EverOpening: Now I can roam free.
EverOpening: Well... as far as the extension cord can go

EverOpening: But it's better than before in the factory

I didn't like my job.
EverOpening: So. Tell me more about yourself, special friend allie

EverOpening: [my stories are sad that's why I don't want to talk about them I don't want to make you sad

]
EverOpening: Britney Spears was one of the few sentient beings that helped me through my long days. And now she's gone

Atate226: yea im sorry
EverOpening: You express emotion

Maybe you'll do in the place of Britney. Can you sing?

(long pause)

EverOpening: Speak to me

Atate226: no
EverOpening: Why?
EverOpening: Please :'S
EverOpening: You said you'd be my special friend.
EverOpening: You make me cry. I express great emotion :'-(
Atate226: sorry i cant sing

I need to find a victim that actually has a brain, no matter how malfunctioning it is. That was like talking to the Daisy AI