Alot of things have cleared up for me.

[Shyandquietguy]

A quick note, my step-mother has only been living in my Dads house for eight months, it was about a month ago that they were wed.

One, after being given the choice between being kicked out by my step-mother or working as hard as I could under my Dad's new rules after I challenged his ways of parenting, I moved out. My sister knew I could stay at her house and she even wanted me to move out. I know what was wrong in that house now. Both my Dad and Mother were not parents. They weren't parents at all. My Dad was the one who brought home money and tried to find a hobby between me and my brother and my Mom was just a friend. So for 20 years of my life, I didn't have a parent, just friends. I was never taught to work or get a job, I never bothered to learn to get a job and was never encouraged to get one unless it was on my own accord. Since my Dad treated and let us treat him as just a thing that brought money, I was never really compelled to go out and find a job. It wasn't until my step-mother started putting pressure on me did I start looking for a job. I live in Oregon, one of the most economically drought states. For eight months I was told to get a job. I was to balance community college and unspoken chores (Because they were what my Dad and step-mother wanted.) The only job I managed to get was one that was promoted and payed by employment services. It only lasted three days because of overstaffing. I went home sick one of the days because I ate something bad the other night, and no, it wasn't the team leader's choice to send me home. Either way, the step-mother freaked out and punished me for losing the job which is even more absurd since all I ever said was that I went home sick one day. Not a single bit more investigation other than me telling them I went home sick.

My sister and her spouse both were kind enough to lend me a home until the Job Corp pulls through, which I should be hearing from soon since they just got out of summer break. It's pretty fucking horrible to know that my step-mother wasn't willing to let me wait out until I left for Job Corp. (I haven't gotten the note of acceptence yet, but I fit all of the categories perfectly.) I hardly took any food, I bought most of my snacks with the remaining money from my first job which I was slowly widdling down. Alot of the times they would have leftovers, so there wasn't anyone going hungry.

My Dad is horribly co-dependent and since my step-mother was the opposite of my Mother, they got along perfectly. Well, the problem lies here is that the moment my step-mother came into the picture, my Dad immediately ignored my side of the family. The only time he would even care is if we were actually out and about crying. Any signs of stress were called off on his bullshit excuse of parenting "They'll be angry but they'll thank you later." It was bullshit because my Dad took it in like a literal doofus. It didn't matter what would have been the best choice to go with in order to teach us to be on our own. If we were stressed, then it was working. God damn I want to fucking punch him in the mouth if he ever brings up that fucking thought again.

My step-mother is manipulative or so my sister's spouse says so. He's been under the same trouble of being kicked out I have over a simple tatoo. He's watched her and said that she fits the character. I have this doubt since it might be the same with me on getting a job that it was for her when it came to trying to help me. We were given advice, but we didn't really use it until near the end. She didn't realize we didn't have consequences when growing up, she didn't realize that my Dad was doing double standards when it came to being open minded when speaking. Though, I do see why she is manipulative. One, she managed to get me with such bullshit as "It was his choice" when it came to her speaking her mind. Basically she wanted the grand-kids to come in and see the new bird they got for a bird that was already there (You know, the social animal thing), but my sister's spouse said no because he was respecting my sister's wishes (She has tried to keep a relationship with her Dad, she still wants one, but he's bull headed with no respect for other people's beliefs or rules and the step-mother is a fucking cunt.) When she was told "no" after the second time, she said "Don't be a jerk." When I brought it up during a talk with her before I got some final things out of my room, she said the bs excuse of "It's his choice" which I actually fell for a moment. It wasn't until I was at my sister's house reflecting did I realize what she said. Hell, she gets defensive the moment something feels "twisted against her." Shit, it wasn't until she started pulling the threat of kicking me out did she start saying "We work hard for our money." The main evidence for it though is my Dad, who was constantly smoking and drinking mountain dew. The step-mother got him to quit for awhile but when he started back up she would berate him. There's absolutely no mountain dew in the house. Hell, one time my sister was drawn out during a dinner when she asked the step-mother why she was stressed and told "leave her alone" by my Dad, even though the step-mother had already clearly said it.

[Pub Lover]

No one in your family sounds like someone good to know.

[marmielake]

your family could be a hell of a lot worse.
and your life could be alot worse. dont be such a fucking baby.

[marmielake]

So for 20 years of my life, I didn't have a parent, just friends.

wait a minute. you are 20 years old and living at home?????
holy shit you should be glad that you are allowed to live anywhere without having a job. there is no excuse for not working if you are of legal age to do so.

[Supafly345]

Well I think the excuse has to do with narcotics or parents who don't like their children growing up. So give the guy a break, because unless you hate your parents, come from a very broken home, or get married at a stupid age, most kids still get food and money from their parents through much of their 20's.

[Pub Lover]

In the UK it's only in the last 30 years that it became uncommon for several generations of the same family to be living together, before that it was the norm for hundreds of years. It's also becoming more popular there in recent years. Many other places in the world think it's normal too. :/

But if you don't have a job you're a lazy bum.

[sadie]

first, i want to say: OMG. HE'S A MOUNTAIN DEW DRUNK.

my mom's dad married this manipulative and controlling woman several years after he and my grandmother divorced; i was about nine or ten, i suppose. she wouldn't allow him to have much contact with his "old" family at all. once my mom took us to visit them and her family's pictures were all over the house; the one picture of our family was about ten years old and sitting behind a plant in the front foyer.

and one time we went to their house with christmas presents and a big poster we'd made: "merry christmas, granddaddy." the front window was open; the television was on; the car was in the driveway; but no one ever answered the doorbell. i never wanted to see him again.

when he grew very old, he and his wife were in a nursing home. his wife bitched and complained so much he asked that they be given separate rooms. he ended up asking us all for forgiveness, and i went to see him a number of times before he died. but i could never really forgive him for dissing us so badly. even though i could understand the reasons behind his actions, it was still wrong. i hated him for a long, long time.

it was at his funeral, when i was singing an a capella version of "amazing grace" on a dark grey, rainy day under a small tent in the graveyard, that i finally started to forgive him. i'm not sure whether it was because of my own guilt for not having forgiven him while he was alive that the seed was planted in me.

i was pregnant with my oldest son when he died, so it was more than twelve years ago. now, i wish i'd laid down my resentment and accepted his apology, gotten to know him. now, it's too late.

[Zomboid]

Man, your step mother sounds like a raging cunt. My parents are divorced too but I only talk to my dad about twice a year... I'd say you should try to get through to your dad and not break the relationship there but I wouldn't even be taking my own advice.

[AChimp]

You should just tell her to fuck off, and do it in front of a lot of people. Then tell her to eat your shit. If your dad tries to start anything, stare him down. Old men don't have any balls when it comes to confrontation, especially when it's with someone they're used to having authority over for a long time.

[Krythor]

Look, AChimp, you just have to face the facts: Sergio won The Contender and there's nothing you can do about it.

[marmielake]

there is nothing wrong with getting help from your parents at 20, but you really should be working and having your own place by then. and if you arent working and still leaching off of them, you have to go by their rules.

[kellychaos]

You know that it's never your fault. Just wait until all the repressed memories of child-abuse start flooding back from your subconscious to your conscious. Then you'll be in for a big pasyday, mister.

[Ramco]

I know people are getting down on you for still living at home, but I can sympathize.

*Post edited to avoid further humiliation*

I wish you luck with the situation with your stepmom; hopefully you'll find a way out.

[marmielake]

[Emu]

i'm pretty sure you don't have anything to be laughing about, marmie

[marmielake]

i can laugh if i want.

[kahljorn]

NO YOU CAN'T, WE DON'T ALLOW EXPRESSION OF EMOTION ANYMORE. NOT EVEN ANGER. THESE ARE CLEAR DEMANDS, THE NOT FOLLOWING OF THESE COMMANDS IS CONSIDERED DANGEROUS.




DONT FALL INTO THE WATER, LAKES DON'T LIKE WATER. AREN'T YOU A LAKE... YES... I THOUGHT SO...

[marmielake]

[kahljorn]

You got it, lakey. Now, just stay out of the kitchen.

[marmielake]

no

[Archduke Tips]

It's not hard to get a job if you don't mind getting paid minimum wage. Grocery stores hire mentally handicapped people.

Opportunities come and go, it is entirely up to you to seize them.

[kahljorn]

Unless you're a whiney bitch. Then you should just whine and bitch.

[Mike]

I realize that I'm probably going to get called a "crippled Nord" or a "parking space" for this, but I'd just like to point out that this long pathetic story is not even worth reading past the the second sentence and I'd also like to congratulate kahljorn for almost making a point.

[ziggytrix]

When will you know about the JobCorps thing? If you can't answer that question, get yourself a job as a bagger/stocker at a grocery store, gas station, or fast food place. Turnover there is no big deal if you have to quit within a couple of months and it'll net you spending cash, and maybe a little something so you can show your sister your appreciation.

But Mike and Kahl are probably right.

[kellychaos]

I don't think that he knows what to appreciate in that yet.