WHAT'S YOUR ROADMAP TO PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST?

[AChimp]

Careful, dude! Didn't you see all those episodes of X-Files.

[Pub Lover]

When it's a toss up between future security & ongoing petty warfare, I really think we should pick a side & then just follow through.

Personally:

Fuck Morality.

Homeland Security. :D

[Perndog]

Oh, I still like you, Zhukov, and I didn't say you were stupid. It's just interesting to me that the most ardent supporters of Socialism I've met on- and offline are about my age and aren't from underprivileged backgrounds. (The latter may not apply to you, but I never thought you were poor..)

[The One and Only...]

I once tried to fuck Morality, but when she pulled out the strap-on I thought it would be best to leave.

[Pub Lover]

Whoops, I meant Moriarty. :HardcoreSherlockHolmesFan

[Guderian]

The Palestinians should all go to Jordan, Syria, etc., and the Israelis should disperse around the world as they were before 1947-48.* The lands that are today occupied by those people could then be turned over to someone that both Europe/the UN/etc. and the US could agree on - say, Italy (hell, the Catholic Church has just as good a claim to Jerusalem as the Jews or Muslims do). The "quartet" (Russia, the EU, the US, and those other guys) can pay the costs of the occupation so that the Italian taxpayers don't have any reason to oppose the plan. Ultimately, it would be international territory - but to keep the Americans happy, we can't have the UN running the show (thus, the Italians).

The now-peaceful land could then be used for more productive things, like growing food to feed starving Africans, building AIDS research centres, and constructing a new hockey arena for the Pittsburgh Penguins. As an added bonus, we don't have to hear about the Israel-Palestine thing from either the quasi-fascist neo-cons or the tree-hugging liberal hippies anymore.

This is the perfect peace plan. In the long run, the only two groups who are going to be pissed are the Jews and the Muslims, and they should get over it eventually. The rest of us who are neither can only benefit.

*As an alternative: give the Israelis half of Antarctica, and the Palestinians the other half. They'll still kill each other, but this way no one will have any reason to care.

[Abcdxxxx]

i'd like to believe the penguins would care (and that you were only joking...but it was almost too thought out in explanation to be comedic).

[Guderian]

The Penguins would totally care! The arena they have now really sucks.

[Abcdxxxx]

Unless they're Palestinian Penguins. That'd be a problem.

[El Blanco]

The only way would be to get a third party to act as a very heavy handed police force. In Sum of All Fears by Tom Clancy, they actually acheived peace through intervention by the Catholic Church and Greek Orthodox bishops.

The main problem is in the book, the two sides willingly took a back seat to the whole process as it was discussed by a bunch of outsiders. I really don't see that happening in real life.

[Abcdxxxx]

"Let's put the Catholic Church in charge of the fate of Jews and Muslims" !! That's some high concept stupidity right there. I'm holding out for the penguin peace plan myself.

[El Blanco]

Originally Posted by Abcdxxxx

"Let's put the Catholic Church in charge of the fate of Jews and Muslims" !!

They tried to implement that in the Middle Ages, but the Muslims weren't down with it. If they had been, we wouldn't have this problem today.

[ScruU2wice]

Ok, we move all the muslims and the jews 3000 miles away from israel and when we're set we let them lose so they can race to get the holy land...

I think this will be a reasonable solution cuz we have all the benefits of them being treated like children about their cultures and we don't need to let them play with guns and explosives.


PS I love this thread