We have some mythological creatures like the HOSE NOZZLE STEALER. I've sighted these beasts at least twice. A homeless she-hobo who uses your hose to clean out her cans, looks like an aged sack of shit, and wears sexy teenager clothes (which she probably found in a trash can). Steals y our hose when you ask her to stop flooding your garden and killing your plants. Can be recognized especially by her annoying insane woman cackle which she does when you're not looking at her. She looks almost exactly like Gericault's insane woman but even more disheveled. I think she is a white woman who turned native american because of her exposure to the american sun.
Will someday be beaten to death with a hose by an angry me
.
Then there's THE PARKING LOT POOPER. Poops in parking lots. Has never been spotted. Can be tracked by seeing huge wads of toilet paper all over and if you're brave looking closely which i dont i just walk the other way. But other people look. Always craps within 5 minutes walking distance of apublic park with public restrooms. Probably mentally retarded.
Will be beaten to death with a shovel used to shovel shit, by whoever is dumb enough to shovel that shit. I basically quit a job so i wouldn't have to deal with it anymore ;\
MORE MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURES OF DOWNTOWN HABITATS COMING SOON
OH MAN THE BEST MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE WHICH HAS BEEN CAPTURED AND IS NOW HELD CAPTIVE. NAKED OBESE MAN WEARING A TURKEY FEATHER BELT IN SOME DUDES BACK YARD. LOOKS LIKE ASSYMCGEE WITH A TURKEY BELT ON. ITS ACTUALLY A TURKEY THAT IS SO FUCKING HUGE AND OBESE THAT IT ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE SOME FAT GUY BENDING OVER. IVE NEVER DRIVEN BY AND SEEN IT DOING ANYTHING OTHER THAN SITTING WITH ITS ASS POINTING TOWARDS THE STREET IT CAN BARELY STAND ON ITS LITTLE LEGS. OTHER ANIMALS ARE AFRAID OF IT, EVEN DIRT FLEES FROM IT WHEN IT STANDS. IT GOES BY THE NAME KING GOBBLER. OR GOBZILLA. CAN COMMUNICATE WITH HUMANS THROUGH TURKEY DANCES.
NEITHER CREATURE NOR MAN CAN SLAY THIS MONOLITHIC BEAST.
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