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  #26  
MLE MLE is offline
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Old Aug 16th, 2010, 06:46 PM       
I've cut myself with a spoon, burned myself using chilled bottled water, cut myself on tuna fish, cut myself on a slurpee cup, and have never been accidentally cut by a knife.

Chojin can probably fill you in on more stupid injuries of mine, since they seem more commonplace to me by now. Like constantly getting cut by pieces of chainmail supplies, or getting cut by an unopened can of beans (that had no sharp edges).
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  #27  
Guitar Woman Guitar Woman is offline
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Old Aug 16th, 2010, 07:08 PM       
God damn, are you made of rice paper?
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  #28  
MLE MLE is offline
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Old Aug 16th, 2010, 11:02 PM       
Just very odd happenstance. Or Choj would say balsa wood.
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  #29  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
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Old Aug 16th, 2010, 11:09 PM       
I seared my thumb on the metal handle of a Chinese takeout box that I put in the microwave. The scar was there for quite a few years afterward. It's gone now.
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  #30  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Old Aug 17th, 2010, 09:35 AM       
I'd forgotten about this one.

My second year of grad school I found myself at a July 4th fireworks event with some friends, a bottle of Vodka and lemonade. (In the days before Mike's) When I finally arrived back at my apartment, I thought it would be a good idea (in my drunken semiconscous state) to do some hamstring stretches. Two things - it's a bad idea to stretch out when drunk, and your sensation to pain diminishes significantly above a BA content of 0.15.

I had a bruise on the back of my leg from my ass down to my knee for about a month.

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burned myself using chilled bottled water
I need more on this, as it seems to defy the laws of physics.
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  #31  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Aug 17th, 2010, 11:14 AM       
I was trying to figure that one out myself.

One time when I was in high school I was rushing down a slanted boardwalk in the rain, which by all counts is a really bad idea. My feet flew out from under me and I landed on my thigh. I had a giant bruise from my thigh to my hip and walked with a limp for a while.

That happened about ten feet from a spot where I was mowing the yard for my parents and happened upon a nest of yellowjackets, who flew up my pantlegs and stung/bit the almighty hell out of me. I still have big divots on my legs where they bit chunks out of me. The burning wasn't as bad as the hellacious itching.

Another time, when we lived in a house that had well water that was particularly iron-ridden and gross, my mother cleaned the house in preparation for my having a friend over. My mom was going through this phase where she cleaned all hard-water stains with lemon oil (must be hereditary...her dad used to armor-all the seats of go-karts and the kids would go flying off them on sharp turns). Anyway, I didn't know she'd done the dark-brown shower stall and didn't think anything of it being so shiny...place always reeked of lemon anyway. Again, my feet flew out from under me and I somehow sprained my ankle so badly my leg was black from the knee down and I had to wear a cast the entire last month of eighth grade.

In retrospect, I'm glad it was me that got injured and not the girl sleeping over...that would have been a lawsuit for sure.
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  #32  
RaNkeri RaNkeri is offline
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Old Aug 17th, 2010, 11:34 AM       
I was able to stab myself with a knife that you shouldn't be able to stab yourself with when I was trying to separate two slices of frozen gluten-free toast.



Should've pissed on them instead
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  #33  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Aug 17th, 2010, 11:36 AM       
man, you and your piss
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  #34  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Aug 17th, 2010, 01:59 PM       
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I'm not ever supposed to ride a bike, but one time my grandmother gave me one and I lost control going down a hill and reportedly skidded like 10 feet on my face. My nose looked like raw hamburger with bits of gravel in it. I was knocked out cold and apparently a car almost ran over me before they saw me and stopped and called for an ambulance.

Given what else is wrong with me, I have no idea how I survived that but the skin on my nose came back, freckles and all.
Freckles are tough like that.
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  #35  
MLE MLE is offline
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Old Aug 17th, 2010, 02:38 PM       
I was driving somewhere and had just gotten a cold bottle of water from 7-11. Apparently, the sun was at exactly the right angle, and the bottle, that I was holding between my legs, was at the right angle and distance from my leg. The sun shone through the bottle like a magnifying glass, and I ended up getting burned just bad enough that there was a red mark for several days.
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  #36  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Old Aug 17th, 2010, 02:41 PM       
Ah ... the old "focus is where the sun's rays meet" trick.
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  #37  
RaNkeri RaNkeri is offline
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Old Aug 17th, 2010, 03:10 PM       
Cat scratched my d*ck when I was taking a piss through my ex-neighbours mail slot.



Should've used frozen instead
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  #38  
Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
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Old Aug 17th, 2010, 03:23 PM       
What I now want to know is....

What brought you to the point where you thought, "the appropriate thing to do now is piss in my neighbors house through the mail slot."?
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  #39  
RaNkeri RaNkeri is offline
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Old Aug 17th, 2010, 03:54 PM       
I was just marking my territory to let other males know that she belonged to me
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  #41  
Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Old Aug 17th, 2010, 08:04 PM       
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What I now want to know is....

What brought you to the point where you thought, "the appropriate thing to do now is piss in my neighbors house through the mail slot."?
Dude did you miss the frozen piss story? It's the same thing, just warmer.
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  #42  
Perndog Perndog is offline
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Old Aug 19th, 2010, 11:13 PM       
I tried to light my sock on a fire at a party. It wasn't working, and I was moving the lighter all over trying to find a spot where it would catch. I ended up turning the lighter all the way upside down with the flame on and burning the tip of my thumb pretty well. Turned into a big blister.
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  #43  
R2-Shane2 R2-Shane2 is offline
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Old Aug 20th, 2010, 02:35 AM       
I think this is maybe my second post ever on this board, but might as well get this story out of the way.
My dad had been trying to exercise more after his heart attack, so him, me, my brother and sister were out riding bikes. We passed some girls and me and my sister were talking to them then I started yelling that we were better at bikes then them, I turn around and talk to them as they pass us. Not paying attention, I run into my sister in front of me, fall of the seat and rack myself on the bike. It really hurts so I get off and try to walk it off. I checked and my scrotum was cut and bleeding sort of badly. I had a pretty bad cut on my scrotum, I was bleeding pretty badly though it wasn't that deep. I went home and washed my balls with peroxide and rubbing alcohol scared to death of an infection, and spend the next several weeks terrified of an infection or losing a testicle.
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  #44  
MrAdventure MrAdventure is offline
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Old Aug 20th, 2010, 07:19 AM       
one time i cut my dick into a labia so i could jack off to some real pussy guess what now im pregnet
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  #45  
Tanuki Tanuki is offline
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Old Aug 20th, 2010, 08:47 AM       
Oh! I forgot my stupidest injury yet. (Actually, it may at least compete with the cat one.)

I was just waking up, and my phone alarm was going off. My dresser is right next to my bed. I went to reach over to get my phone and slammed my eye into the corner of the dresser, giving myself a black eye.
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  #46  
Zhukov Zhukov is offline
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Old Aug 20th, 2010, 09:03 AM       
Nice work R2-Scrote2.

In an exam I dropped my pen, bent over to pick it up and hit my face on the desk, it didn't hurt too bad but I said "ow" out of habbit. People laughed.
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  #47  
Chojin Chojin is offline
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Old Aug 20th, 2010, 01:11 PM       
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one time i cut my dick into a labia so i could jack off to some real pussy guess what now im pregnet
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  #48  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
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Old Aug 20th, 2010, 04:40 PM       


Oh yeah, and I'm a burn victim!
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  #49  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Aug 20th, 2010, 07:13 PM       
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burning the tip of my thumb pretty well. Turned into a big blister.
ONE Time When I WAS SMOKING A BUNCH OF METH ON MY BIRTHDAY I COULDNt FIND WHAT WAS LEFT OF tHE PUDDLE AND ENDED UP BURNINg mY FINger BY THE TIME I FOUND It
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  #50  
Tanuki Tanuki is offline
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Old Aug 20th, 2010, 07:16 PM       
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one time i cut my dick into a labia so i could jack off to some real pussy guess what now im pregnet
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