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  #1  
george george is offline
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 05:05 PM        stop the floaters?
how does one overcome such things?

everytime i got into the bathroom there is a billowy cloud with a fudge stripe floating in the goddamn toilet.

from uhnderneath, as if nestling up for a nap, turds poke out. "hey there good buddy! how the hell are ya?" they call out. just to piss me off i tell you! JUST TO PISS ME OFF!!!

this of course pisses me off, and so i shuffle down the hall bellowing, "who in the hell keeps leaving turds in the toliet? why can't any of you flush? WHY??"

and then the laughing starts

"dad hates poop! HA HA HA!!!"



then out right lies

"no, daaaaaad, looooooves poooooooop! ewwww-ha HA HA!"



"he wants to marry it!"



"uh oh mom! better watch out MOM, Daddy is gonna divorce you for some POOOOOOOOOP!"



then i run down the hall crying.

and despite my sadness, no one flushes the fucking toilet.

revenge shall be mine.
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  #2  
Jim Duncan - Weather Jim Duncan - Weather is offline
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 05:11 PM       
Give them balled up poop for dinner, but tell them it's meatballs, and then do this everytime you find some floating there.
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  #3  
Schimid Schimid is offline
...for breakfast?!
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 05:17 PM       
Put some in their stocking and say that Santa is always watching.
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  #4  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 05:22 PM       
Just say the not flushing the toilet is an unforgivable sin, and tell them they'll go to hell without any doubt.

Then proceed with "Hell Training" to get them ready for it. You could whip them and feed them shards of broken glass while reminding them that "The devil himself is going to be doing this for eternity when you die, so you may as well learn to get used to it first."
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  #5  
george george is offline
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 05:34 PM       
my plan involved a gun, but yours does leave open the option of future torture as well.
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  #6  
Suck 'n' Fuck Suck 'n' Fuck is offline
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 09:17 PM       
Try putting your erect penis inside your child's rectum. That should correct the "floater" problem.
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  #7  
george george is offline
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 09:37 PM       
i sense a hidden memory.
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 09:40 PM       
Oui.
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  #9  
george george is offline
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 09:43 PM       
you should not have worn ass less painties around your father.

prolly no less that you deserve.
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Cosmo Electrolux Cosmo Electrolux is offline
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 10:21 PM       
Be thankful that they at least wipe, George...
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  #11  
george george is offline
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Old Jan 24th, 2004, 10:53 PM       
there is that
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Old Jan 26th, 2004, 01:11 AM       
this sort of thing didn't used to make me feel all puke-y. must be the hormones.
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Cosmo Electrolux Cosmo Electrolux is offline
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Old Jan 26th, 2004, 07:39 AM       
Hi Sadie
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  #14  
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Old Jan 26th, 2004, 12:50 PM       
hi, cosmo.
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george george is offline
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Old Jan 28th, 2004, 09:36 PM       
hi sadie!

how is my favorite girl to think of smelling doing today?
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  #16  
sadie sadie is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2004, 01:07 AM       
hi there, george.
my day was pretty good, thanks. i watched ry take apart his nintendo and controllers to figure out which wires connected to which buttons. i wrote book descriptions for my parents' internet sales business. i worked on a promo pack for the acoustic act my friend and i do. and i went to a recording session tonight in a friend's basement studio.
how was yours?
p.s. i smell like pearberry today. :P
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  #17  
Cosmo Electrolux Cosmo Electrolux is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2004, 08:15 AM       
pearberry? what is pearberry?
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  #18  
sadie sadie is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2004, 06:36 PM       
use your imagination. or go to bath & body or something.
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Cosmo Electrolux Cosmo Electrolux is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2004, 07:45 PM       
I'll use my imagination yow!
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  #20  
george george is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2004, 09:17 PM       
do you smell like pearberry everywhere??

hmm? hmm hmm?

mmm.
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  #21  
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Old Jan 30th, 2004, 09:50 PM       
not anymore. today it's sun-ripened kiwi.
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  #22  
executioneer executioneer is offline
OH GOD
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Old Jan 31st, 2004, 04:39 AM       
loveline forum you guys :(

-willie
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