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Puffy P MC · #1

Hey people, as i'm new to these forums I thought I could break da ice (and a couple of legs) between us with my first topic.

Some of the answers are probably going to concist of Fat Girls, Gay People, Pizza Stores or The Toilets In McDonalds, so feel free to give it ya best shot.

mine include

Having sex with a fat girl who apparently wen to my school.

Telling the staff in Mcdonalds I was terroist, thus the police gettin called and armed response.

Replied to an advert in my local ADs paper for a stripping job, and totally forgetting to give my wrong details, ending up with Kellies Bar ringing my house and asking my mother if shed considered the stripping offer.

Telling a black taxi driver that I was on my way home to watch Roots. Thus getting the shit kicked out of me.

Taking a piss in a beer can and giving it to someone, some girl came over and asked him to dance, he put the beer on the table, I turned around talking forgot about it all, turned around to find a beer................... :/

Thats your lot

Pub Lover · #2

One time I was so wasted that I read the *RULES & GUIDELINES for the I-Mockery Message Boards*

mburbank · #3

Man, I was so shit faced just now I thought this post might not be a pathetic attempt for instant acceptance.

HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT, MAN?!?

Woah. Dude.

Think Immona puke'r sumthin'.

Anonymous · #4

The sad thing is that most of the really old posters started out this way.

Like, 'back in the day,' this might have been responded to with 'hahahaha i've done some pretty crazy stuff myself back in the day, but terrorist threats? welcome aboard!

'

And like, now, we would just tell him to open a can of tab, sit on it, and spin around until he fills it with anus peels :<

sadie · #5

i'm sure there's a market somewhere for fried anus peels, chojin. we could make a fortune! instead of the blooming onion, we'll serve the blooming anus. >:

Anonymous · #6

Truth be told, I only wrote that post because I like the word 'anus peels' :<

Comrade Rocket · #7

Chojin, yer damn post got me in trouble.

I TA for a teacher at my school. theres not much to do so I go online. And your post made me laugh out loud and interupt his lesson.

You whore... I love you.

mburbank · #8

I had a chemical anus peel... you know, so my anus would look... like... younger and... I don't know, feel better about itself I guess.

IT'S MY MONEY! I CAN SPEND IT HOWEVER I WANT!

STOP JUDGING ME!

NIGhtMAre · #9

I haven't found my anus. I checked the fridge

mburbank · #10

Check Chojin's fridge.

TeRRaNuSER · #11

if it was ever there then you dont want to find it

MK IV · #12

Hmm ..

This one time this guy I know , took a dump in Mcdonalds, but in the sink.

Rongi · #13

That's just NUTS

Russo · #14

Sadie... I wuv you ^-^

The dumbest thing Ive ever seen anybody do while they were wasted was attack my martial arts class...

It was me and another student and the teacher...
And it was during our test for our next belts

Ahhh... we beat the crap outta that guy... we gave him fair warning!!!

FartinMowler · #15

Russo Sucko Fucko Ducko Mucko Bucko Nucko Lucko Asso

sadie · #16

russo :wuv

Les Waste · #17

I was going to post something really sarcastic and in all caps like "LOL GOOD ONE U SHUD ASLO TRY PEEING IN DRINKING FOUNTAINS ROFL OMG WTF" but I would just like to say that, without a doubt, Puffy P MC deserved all those things that happened to him, including the anus peels thing, which I'm sure he tried it after Chojin suggested it because he didn't get it. But he sure got it eventually! He sure got it "in the end!" LOLLOLO LOLOLOLOLO GET IT?!?!?!? IN THE END?!?!? OMG ROFL ROFL ROFL WTF

One time, I was so drunk, I passed out at 11pm or so and woke up at 3 am with the worst headache ever, I layed on the couch to try and feel better but than I was about to throw up, and I didn't want to walk the 12 FUCKING FEET to the bathroom (actually, I didn't even want to get off the couch to puke in my garbage can) so I grabbed an empty box of swiss cake rolls that was lying on the floor and threw up in that. Obviously, it wasn't big enough, and my vomit overflowed onto my small area rug, and was so disgusting that I just threw out the damn rug. And I wish I hadn't done that because it was a nice rug.

sadie · #18

you lay.

CaptainBubba · #19

At risk of no one giving a damn, I'll humor the spirit of this thread by telling my fantastic drunken tales.

One time I fasted for an entire day and then chugged about a glass of Jack Daniel's. I remember standing up and saying, "OMG I'm really drunk you guys, anybody wanna give me a fake job interview and see if I can do it?". The next thing I remember is waking up in a bed soaking wet, smelling like shit and wanting to puke. It turns out I lasted about 20 minutes during which time I acted like a crazed fool and then puked and blacked out. They (my friends) carried me to a bed, but they were drunk too so they they dropped me on my head about 5 times on the way.

I litterally crawled out of the bed and got to the bathroom and took a bath. After lying in the bathtub for a while I felt like puking again, but I couldn't move so I ended up puking in the tub. I still couldn't move, so I soaked in my own vomit for about one hour, then I puked again and got the strength to get out. I crawled to the room where my friends were sleeping and proceeded to puke on everything.

Later we went to the mall and I tried to eat but my throat and mouth was scorched from stomach acid and I could barely drink water.

I am almost physically incapable of drinking whiskey now.

Carnivore · #20

My first post, which was posted in the correct forum given the subject matter (Winky's sXe/vegan/punk/etc HATE Board) read as follows.

Quote:

Well, first let me say hi seeing as I'm new to the board. I've enjoyed all the I-Mockery sites for a long time. I am a long-time meatatarian, hater of animal rights activists, and opposer of veganism.
Recently, I was made aware that PETA had put up billboards in Boston on the way to Logan Airport. One features a bearded man in a robe, supposedly God, with the text "Thou Shalt Not Kill!" Another featured an advertisement for www.jesusveg.com/ which I'm sure all of you have heard of before (unfortunately). This just infuriates me. It's bad enough that there are people out there who value animal life as much as or more so than human life. Just knowing they're out there is enough, but now I have to see their damned billboards! It pissed me off hearing about such billboards other places, but now that they're in my territory, I'm wishing somebody would put a big Grade A Angus Steer billboard right next to it!
As Boston is very Catholic, I'm surprised and happy to say that the Catholic Church is actually trying to get the billboards down. I don't care how they're brought down or by whom, I just don't want to see crap like this anymore. My apologies for this unintelligent rant, but I'm just pissed off to no end!
"Bottom line, animals are delicious"
Malevolent

I was never a newbie. I knew my shit from day one.

Geggy · #21

this one and only time i blacked out, i proposed to a stranger for letting me cut in the line to a bathoom. then i went to a friend's dorm room for some cardboard pizza (dominos). i regretted it. i puked and puked every 10 minutes for the next 5 hours until i started puking piss. that lasted for an hour. then i started puking dry heaves, that went on for 2 hours. i was nursing a headache for the entire day. later that night i ran into that girl who i proposed to. she says 'remember me?' I said 'no'. then we fucked. the headache went away.

Russo · #22

FartinMowler... Rowler Trowler Clower
Wow arent we having a fun rhyming game.
Ok you win, you can wear the special winner's asshat.

Generator86 · #23

You fucking rookies.

"Ooh, I puked! I blacked out! I pretended to be a terrorist!" That's what you're supposed to do while drunk. Also, it's your God-given duty to have sex with rotund women while inebriated. Sure, you might feel awful about it in the morning, and you'll sure as hell catch it from your friends, but dammit, it's a story to tell at the bar the next night.

You're also required to lose articles of clothing during the course of the night, regardless of your sex.