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  #26  
Girl Drink Drunk Girl Drink Drunk is offline
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Old Dec 14th, 2007, 12:52 AM       
I was going to say The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I had to sit through this live action adaptation of Alice In Wonderland, with Martin Short and Whoopi Goldberg in it, while babysitting once. Agonizing.
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  #27  
MetalMilitia MetalMilitia is offline
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Old Dec 14th, 2007, 09:31 AM       
Chuck and Larry is the most juvenile, offensive piece of shit ever.

Spanglish was completely devoid of any kind of humor and was boring as fuck.

The SAW series are completely unimaginative, unintelligent shit-fests.

Monkey Bone -Dreadful in just about every respect.
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  #28  
Zbu Manowar Zbu Manowar is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2007, 02:43 AM       
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I liked Pleasantville.
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Yeah, Pleasantville's great.
One day you must tell me the level of zen or the grain alcohol you had to get through that.

Should I mention 'Lost Highway?' I saw that in the theater and since it'll probably never be released on DVD due to the factors surrounding its release, I don't think it's fair to even state how mindbendingly awful it is. Not even the nudity can really make it worthwhile.
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  #29  
zeldasbiggestfan zeldasbiggestfan is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2007, 03:03 AM       
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Oh and Across the Universe was a complete waste of 8 dollars too. But I did get to watch predator and have sex after. So I guess that movie's good for something.
Across the Universe is great!
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  #30  
RaNkeri RaNkeri is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2007, 04:23 AM       
Oh god, it's impossible to name just one, but here are few ones I've seen once and don't want to see again:

Mario Bros.
Alone in the dark
Street Fighter
Mortal Kombat Annihilation
Turtles 3
and couple of Van Damme's and Seagal's latest action movies, which aren't even bad good :/
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  #31  
AlliSabbah AlliSabbah is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2007, 10:40 AM       
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Originally Posted by Zbu Manowar View Post
One day you must tell me the level of zen or the grain alcohol you had to get through that.

Should I mention 'Lost Highway?' I saw that in the theater and since it'll probably never be released on DVD due to the factors surrounding its release, I don't think it's fair to even state how mindbendingly awful it is. Not even the nudity can really make it worthwhile.
I believe Lost Highway is already out on DVD. Unless the one my ex wife had was a transfer from vhs. I hated that movie and the fact that she loved it so much just makes me hate it that much more.
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  #32  
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Old Dec 15th, 2007, 01:49 PM       
Fear Dot Com. Without a doubt.
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  #33  
HickMan HickMan is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2007, 02:38 PM       
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Across the Universe is great!
Hey guys, I've got a great idea! We'll make a movie, right? It'll be a love story, right? But not any love story...you see. Everyone will be taken right out of different Beatles songs! And we'll also talk about WAR. And how BAD WAR is! Ok here's my idea...We'll call it ACROSS THE UNIVERSE!

So we've got our main character, Jude (just like Hey Jude! I'm so clever). Jude moved to America from England illegally and fell in love with his best friend's younger sister, Lucy! (you know, from that other Beatles song? The one about diamonds in the sky!) But Lucy has a boyfriend and Jude decided to move to New York City. Thankfully, Lucy's boyfriend was drafted into Viet Nam and was horribly killed. So she then decides to move with her older brother and Jude! A day after Lucy moves to New York, and probably only about three or four days since her old, dead, boyfriend was brutally murdered in a war, she falls for Jude and sleeps with him! At the same time covering Beatles songs we all know and love! Right? I mean, it's the Beatles! We ALL love the Beatles!

Things get a little complicated and I think we should go the route of Yellow Submarine where nothing really makes sense, all at the same time progressing Jude and Lucy's love story WHILE SINGING BEATLES SONGS! We'll get great musical artists like BONO and EDDIE IZZARD! Yes! Eddie Izzard will be in the movie! Not a musician, you say? Who cares? IT'S ACROSS THE FUCKING UNIVERSE!

And now we'll introduce a whole slew of characters like Prudence! And she's a lesbian from Nowhere! She gets trapped in the closet and she finally comes out to be a whole new person! Lucy's older brother gets drafted and goes to the Army Recruiting Center where we'll have Uncle Sam singing I Want You So Bad. He'll be shipped off to Viet Nam and show just how horrible and gruesome war is, with some tits here and there.

OK I've changed my mind on the whole Yellow Submarine thing and now I think it'd be best to make this movie all political and about war. And racial issues. Because that's really relevant, you know? All while singing BEATLES SONGS!

So Jude finally gets caught by the government and sent back to England. Where he decides that he doesn't care about anything but finding Lucy again. So he goes back to New York and he hears all the people he's been living with on a rooftop for one last performance and they're singing...Hey Jude! He's drawn onto the top of the building to find all of his friends! But...no Lucy. The oppressive police come to the top of the building to stop the ruckus. Jude is the only one left on the roof with nothing but a microphone. So he does the only thing he can do. SING SOME BEATLES SONGS until Lucy hears him and goes to the top of the roof where they kiss one last time and the movie ends!

What do you guys think? Genius, perhaps?
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  #34  
zeldasbiggestfan zeldasbiggestfan is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2007, 04:42 PM       
I liked that

But come the hell on! It's called Across the Universe! (GASP) A BEATLES SONG! You know that one that sucks but somehow we all know it? Yeah.

I still love that movie, so eat my ass.
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  #35  
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Old Dec 15th, 2007, 05:39 PM       
The worst movie i've ever seen would have to be Jurassic Park 3. God that movie was absolutely horrible. The only redeemable thing about going to that god forsaken movie was that my friend and I were really high and we got to see the first preview for the first Spiderman, including the now deleted scene where he catches a helicopter in a giant web between the Twin Towers.

Napolean Dynamite sucked ass, too.
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  #36  
HickMan HickMan is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2007, 06:55 PM       
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Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan View Post
I liked that

But come the hell on! It's called Across the Universe! (GASP) A BEATLES SONG! You know that one that sucks but somehow we all know it? Yeah.

I still love that movie, so eat my ass.
And that's why I will never take anything you do or say seriously. Anyone who thinks Across the Universe pays great homage to one of the centuries greatest musicians must never really have listened to The Beatles.

This movie butchers what was some fantastic music and throws a whole bunch of bullshit on top.

Seriously, fuck this movie. Every time I post about it I hate it even more.
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  #37  
zeldasbiggestfan zeldasbiggestfan is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2007, 12:47 AM       
I never said it paid a great homage to it. I said it was a good movie, NOTHING about this being fantastic to the Beatles and is like a suped-up version of their music. It's not and nothing ever will be. I just thought it was a good movie.
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  #38  
HickMan HickMan is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2007, 01:17 AM       
Well...you're wrong. And don't throw your opinion bullshit at me.
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  #39  
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Old Dec 16th, 2007, 01:40 AM       
Throw facts at him.
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  #40  
FrogRawr FrogRawr is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2007, 02:43 AM       
Santa's Slay is the worst movie I've ever seen.

one of the final chase scenes:
Evil Santa picks up Christmas Carol while looking for 2 teenagers in a library.
Then says, "Christmas sure scares the dickens out of people."
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  #41  
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Old Dec 16th, 2007, 05:48 AM       
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Fear Dot Com. Without a doubt.
seconded.
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  #42  
zeldasbiggestfan zeldasbiggestfan is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2007, 12:15 PM       
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Well...you're wrong. And don't throw your opinion bullshit at me.
It IS a fact that nothing can or will be as good as the Beatles goddamnit!
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  #43  
Mockery Mockery is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2007, 03:35 PM       
"Deck The Halls" with Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick. It will make you want to vomit anal blood.
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  #44  
Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
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Old Dec 17th, 2007, 02:54 PM       
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Fear Dot Com. Without a doubt.
Do you want to hurt me, sspadowsky?








Liar.
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  #45  
Zbu Manowar Zbu Manowar is offline
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Old Dec 18th, 2007, 01:15 AM       
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"Deck The Halls" with Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick. It will make you want to vomit anal blood.
I remember having to sit through the previews for that movie when I had Comcast Digital Cable. Whenever I would try to get some On Demand TV going, it would play and it was one of those trailers that would always reveal the entire premise of the movie. Somehow the 'I'm the king of Christmas around here/no you're not, I am/no, I am' plot just made me wish that the movie would end with some crazed nerd finding an AK-47 and blowing apart the whole town, leaving Devito and Broderick dying of gaping stomach wounds.

Seriously, does Matthew Broderick even care anymore? The way his career has gone in regards to movies, I would think he would reach Steve Guttenberg levels of desperation to go back to his glory days. Devito, on the other hand, has no conscience. This is the man who was either doomed to sell used cars and live as a fifty year old virgin or do shitbombs like Junior and Twins.

Speaking of which, does anybody remember Junior? I caught a few minutes of it on cable and I realized that I hated it as much as I did when I just heard of it.
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  #46  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Dec 18th, 2007, 01:38 AM       
Matthew "Vehicular-Manslaughter" Broderick is the best actor ever. HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN WAR GAMES?
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  #47  
Girl Drink Drunk Girl Drink Drunk is offline
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Old Dec 18th, 2007, 02:07 AM       
I'd also say anything starring Martin Lawrence is unwatchable too.
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  #48  
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Old Dec 18th, 2007, 03:08 AM       
AHHAHAHAHA Matthew Broderick's "glory days". I get it! He was in a movie called "Glory"! And it was probably his only one that will be taken seriously!
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  #49  
Girl Drink Drunk Girl Drink Drunk is offline
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Old Dec 18th, 2007, 12:26 PM       
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  #50  
Angryhydralisk Angryhydralisk is offline
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Old Dec 18th, 2007, 01:09 PM       
It's hard to say, but I'm tied betwen three movies.

Star Wars Episode II: Just becuase it's so damn droll and uneventful tot he point where even Yoda doing the ligthsaber gig seems boring and geriatric (Then again, it's a 900-year old muppet and Christopher Lee one-on-one so I guess that makes sense).

Miami Vice: I fell asleep for the first time at the movies thanks to this crock. What was the point of the white guy even being there? All he did was stand there with his mustache and hair and just......stand there.

Five Fingers of Steel: Horrible Kung-fu film featuring Hwang Jang Lee as a good guy who dropkicks trees (Not to mention the only character int he entire movie to have a name)
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