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LordSappington · #**79576**

I got an interview as a lifeguard tomorrow! Includes a swim test! Oh god I'm going to bomb it!
As in, I have to swim 300 yards, which I can do, I think, but not exactly with... form.
Fuck, whatever; if I bomb it, then so be it

Kitsa · #**79577**

Quote:

Originally Posted by creeposaurus

And you're walking around on it? You must have a high tolerance for pain

Yep, my life is one big cavalcade of pain and I can't be arsed about it anymore. Basically.

Which is a good thing because opiates make me want to puke, and if I say I'm in pain they just want to shove me full of them.

Kitsa · #**79578**

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington

I got an interview as a lifeguard tomorrow! Includes a swim test! Oh god I'm going to bomb it!
As in, I have to swim 300 yards, which I can do, I think, but not exactly with... form.
Fuck, whatever; if I bomb it, then so be it

Good luck. Fuck form, get 'er done.

Rongi · #**79579**

I'm making roast pork ribs tonight :hat

LordSappington · #**79580**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa

Good luck. Fuck form, get 'er done.

Thanks! I figure if they tell me I need to swim in a breast stroke or something, I'll tell them something along the lines of "I CAN'T DO ANY OF YOUR FANCY SWIMMINGS, BUT BY GOD I WILL TEACH THOSE CHILDREN NOT TO FEAR DEATH, BUT TO FEAR ME HAVING TO GO GET THEM!''

Fathom Zero · #**79581**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rongi

I'm making roast pork ribs tonight :hat

I'm jealous. I want you to know that.

Rongi · #**79582**

Kitsa · #**79583**

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington

Thanks! I figure if they tell me I need to swim in a breast stroke or something, I'll tell them something along the lines of "I CAN'T DO ANY OF YOUR FANCY SWIMMINGS, BUT BY GOD I WILL TEACH THOSE CHILDREN NOT TO FEAR DEATH, BUT TO FEAR ME HAVING TO GO GET THEM!''

When all else fails, do a crawl.

Rongi · #**79584**

It's so hard being fat and laying around all day

k0k0 · #**79585**

Just answered the doorbell to like 12 highschool girls in my yard. They said "You've been flamingoed" and apparently they put 5 flamingos in my lawn and said that they're from Anderson Highschool Color Guard or something and I have to pay them to get the flamingos out of my yard. I told them to just leave them. They said that the flamingos would eat my house and I told them to screw off. Man I hate fundraising little brats. None of them looked 18 or I may have put on the charm.

Chojin · #**79586**

k0k0 · #**79587**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero

Fluorescent light hurts my eyes, should I wear sunglasses indoors?

I remember back when I worked at Dell computers they went from natural light to fluorescent. I think it was to keep people more alert, but it bothered my eyes so much that I wore glasses. If it's at your work, you'll probably get a lot of people bothering you about it, maybe even your boss. Just get a doctor's note if they do that. Tell your doctor that the lights are giving you migraines or something.

Fathom Zero · #**79588**

I was thinking something like http://www.gunnars.com/ as well, I don't even care if it makes me look like a massive faggot. Yellow-tinted glasses would be amazing.

Tadao · #**79589**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grislygus

TADAO I THOUGHT YOU STILL WERE A MOD DID I MISS SOMETHING

Yeah, I wasn't serious enough for Philo.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zomboid

SOUNDS LIKE TADAO WANTS US TO BLAST HIM WITH OUR CANNONS ALL OVER AGAIN.

PS - We couldn't do a new poster awards now BECAUSE SO MANY OF YOU NEW PEOPLE ARE FUCKING TERRIBLE (or just hang out in article comments and are terrible there).

QUIT TRYING TO GAY RAPE ME

And yeah, I would give KoKo props but he seems to be phoning it in lately. Don't be wacky, just be you nigga.

Tadao · #**79590**

also yeah Kitsa, I was being serious.

Sam · #**79591**

TADAO, YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.

Colonel Flagg · #**79592**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kitsa

Yep, my life is one big cavalcade of pain and I can't be arsed about it anymore. Basically.

Which is a good thing because opiates make me want to puke, and if I say I'm in pain they just want to shove me full of them.

You go girl! :gentlehighfive

I had an issue with my knees - basically f***ing them up horribly while on vacation - to the point that I thought I was in for a surgical solution. I went in desperation to the chiropractor, who really didn't want to touch them at all, for fear of making things worse. I persuaded him to throw caution to the wind, and he adjusted only one knee (the worst one) and agreed to see me in two days. Long story short, the swelling is down, I'm doing knee-bends for strength and I can give the formal F-U to the surgical solution. Woot.

Pain is my friend.

Colonel Flagg · #**79593**

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordSappington

Thanks! I figure if they tell me I need to swim in a breast stroke or something, I'll tell them something along the lines of "I CAN'T DO ANY OF YOUR FANCY SWIMMINGS, BUT BY GOD I WILL TEACH THOSE CHILDREN NOT TO FEAR DEATH, BUT TO FEAR ME HAVING TO GO GET THEM!''

Now that's a morale poster for swim lessons.

k0k0 · #**79594**

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fathom Zero

I was thinking something like http://www.gunnars.com/ as well, I don't even care if it makes me look like a massive faggot. Yellow-tinted glasses would be amazing.

Those actually look pretty good. I may get some if I ever go back into the corporate world. I expected them to look stupid, but as long as they help the eyes against the fluorescent bastards, it doesn't matter how they look really.

LordSappington · #**79595**

So help me, I will rescue the little shits, visit them in the hospital until they're back in peak health, then beat them within an inch of their lives all over again just to teach them to never interrupt my reading again