My failed attempt to put a humorous spin on Jacko

[Les Waste]

http://at.mio.uwosh.edu/story.asp?is...916&story=2156

I've already gotten hatemail saying it sucks

edit: I stole a Max burbank joke for this too. Sorry.

[CastroMotorOil]

Dude, that piece kicks serious ass, It made me LOL constantly throughout the article. You should post some of the hate mail if you can.

[whoreable]

I liked it better than the movies one. I think.
________
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER DICUSSION

[Les Waste]

Here's a piece of email I found waiting for me this morning

Alright. As a first time reader of your online paper, I can't truly dis Chris
b/c I have no clue if he truly sucks. But if your "Leave Jacko Alone" attempt at
satire is any reflection of your work, then yes Chris, you suck.
Look, you're still in school. There's still hope for you to develop your voice,
until then, please don't attempt humor again... EVER.
First and second graf: funny.
Third, fourth and fifth graf: You'd been better off expressing this in a straigh
column. Here, you're pushing it and showing that yes, humorous writing sometimes
lacks humor.
Rest of the story: Well, Chris, you don't work for the onion. leave the satire
to writers.
Satire, good. "Leave Jacko Alone," congested.
Your attempt at clever writing, or whatever you called that "Jacko" piece, just
plain sucked.
better luck next time. I hear Michael Jackson's doing something on FOX thursday,
maybe you can pick up and try again. Or, maybe a less cliche story subject and
really stretch your journalism school muscles.

I replied back with:

Why hello! I am so glad an expert of humor emailed me to tell me what is wrong with me! Excellent! I really consider myself so lucky that you would take time out of your busy schedule of masturbating and eating corn chips to critique my column. I have a great idea! Why don't you come and do my job for me? Oh wait, I forgot. You can't because you're barely semi-literate! My mistake!

Next time you feel like writing a stupid email, why don't you just have a stick of gum? Good luck with that!

The reply to my reply indicated that he didn't get it.

[FS]

It's not without its charm. Maybe you should try lighting it on fire.

For example, years ago Jackson might have seen a ghost and the following shock might have left Jackson pale with fear.

This made me LOL

Certainly nothing worth blowing up about, like the guy from that hatemail did. Maybe he once bathed with Michael Jackson and Jacko grabbed his rubber ducky

[Les Waste]

I think everyone on campus either thinks I'm hilarious or thinks I suck more than anything has ever sucked in the history of the world and things that suck.

In my journalism class, my professor requires all the students to critique the newspaper. I was reading the critiques of my section, and they all either said it was the worst section of the paper and shouldn't even be in it, or it was the first thing they go to when they read it.

All the negative criticism depressed the hell out of me though. Because it was really, really harsh.

I think I should be seeing a therapist

[Protoclown]

Well Les, all I can talk about is my writing here on I-Mockery, but I've done a fair bit of it and I've probably had a decent number of people read one of my articles at some point or another.

And in my experience, about 90% of the feedback you will get is scathingly, harshly negative. It's the people that hate you that always are the most vocal in their feedback...which gives the illusion that there are far more people that hate you than like you. Who knows, it may be true. But does it matter?

Still, the few people out there who actually enjoy it and take the time to let you know it ALMOST make it all worth it.

[Vomit]

I only 'skimmed' thru it and I saw something about Bea Arthur's genenatlia(sp? ). It sounded gross. !

[kon]

That made me lol

[sadie]

bobo, don't be . you make me .

[jailbaitmonger]

There were a lot of words, and I didn't think I was going to read it.

Then I did.

Good job Les. It made me chuckle on several occasions.

[McClain]

That was a good piece.

[Vomit]

Originally Posted by McClain

That was a good piece.

[Les Waste]

I love you sons of bitches

[Zbu Manowar]

Les,

It was funny. Whomever doesn't get it is obviously people who think Erma Bombeck is too racy.

Tell them to fuck off.

[Jixby Phillips]

LES WASTE IS FROM A KELLY OSBOURNE ALBUM !!!

[Geggy]

edit: read next post.

[Geggy]

Originally Posted by Zbu Manowar

Tell them to fuck off.

Nah, I would just tell them that they're right so they can just continue to embarrass themselves every time they criticize other people's work.

I thought the article was pretty straight up because I'm sick of hearing about Jacko.

[Ninjavenom]

I like it, bobo. Then again, i haven't read one of your columns yet that i've to hate, either

[Les Waste]

Originally Posted by Jixby Phillips

LES WASTE IS FROM A KELLY OSBOURNE ALBUM !!!

I DON'T GET IT

[AChimp]

I think you should be submitting stuff to me rather than your campus newspaper.

[Rez]

yes.


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Would you fault Jesus Christ if he had Michael Jackson’s insatiable lust for young, nubile boys? Most certainly not. Or would you criticize Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. if he bleached his skin to the point of translucence and had numerous surgeries to sharpen his face to a fine point? I rest my case.
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[Captain Robo]

It's funny you should mention Martin Luter King Jr. because he actually came to my school (Grosse Pointe South High School) in 1962.

However, back then, Grosse Pointe-rs were racist assholes and they booed him off the stage

[sadie]

jixby was on a small roll. buttered, maybe?

[Captain Robo]

SOUP