I'm a full on nihilist now. My only wish for my offspring is a beautiful death as this dystopian nightmare worsens. This actually makes me better at my job, believe it or not. RNs who get emotional burn out and lose sight of the bigger picture... that we're insignificant primates on a ball of rock floating through an endless void.
I didn't know there was a name for what I felt until Nihilism started becoming popular. I think my mom accidently turned me into one raising me as a Jehovah Witness.
They believe that there is no hell or punishment after you die. If you are bad and die, you simply don't get to exist when Jesus win the great war against the Terminators. So I was raised to believe that nothing fucking matters, you are gonna die and you will either be rewarded or sleep forever.