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pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Feb 15th, 2005, 07:13 PM        Adam West and Hulk Hogan? I'd hit it
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282390/

When the writer of a movie calls himself J-Bolt, it's got to be good.
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Old Feb 15th, 2005, 07:18 PM       
The people ripping on poor J-Bolt in the messages are hilarious.
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Old Feb 15th, 2005, 07:21 PM       
Look at the message boards..."J-Bolt" likes to chat, apparently.
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Old Feb 15th, 2005, 07:32 PM       
http://www.lightningboltentertainment.com/

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Old Feb 15th, 2005, 07:38 PM       
Fucking momo ripped off UHF with Conan. Does he expect no one to notice? :-/
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Old Feb 15th, 2005, 07:43 PM       
I know, and he's completely delusional.

I assume this is the thread Whiterat and Zomboid were refering to, read all of it. It just gets funnier and funnier:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282390/board/nest/14357375
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Mad Melvin Mad Melvin is offline
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Old Feb 15th, 2005, 08:11 PM       
WTF Pat Morita is in that movie. i thought he was dead. :/
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pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Feb 15th, 2005, 08:22 PM       
I'm not really sure any of those are in the movie. The writer might be making it all up.

Here's an even better thread:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282390/...347998#3347998

Seriosuly, I think that guy might have a condition.

EDIT:

Quote:
tonysantacruz...
I'm doing my best not to lose it with these uneducated statements, so bear with me as I educate you, as I have so many for all this time, again and againa and again...all with the SAME facts:
All cast/crew that are listed on IMDb DO have signed contracts and money has been exchanged. That's why they are part of the project. IMDb looks into these things before they allow info to be published on their site.
Most of my staff work with the other subsidiaries, considering finding Hollywood "professionals" that have the same hard work-ethic I do are hard to come by, almost impossible. If someone fails to do their job, I'll do it myself because time is money and I won't waste either trying to find that "diamond in the rough" who is a REAL professional.
Th Spider-man movie took almost 10 years to finally get made. It was HIGHLY publicised that John Malcovich was going to play the Green Goblin, when there wasn't even a negotiation in place for it, but they used his publicity photo and swore he's playing the role. He didn't. Did anyone go after Marvel for Spidey taking so long or the Malcovich thing? No! Batman took 7 years before they could finally find a script and such that made them go into production. Nobody griped at them for that. The Womder Woman movie has been getting fought over for I can't begin to say how many years... yet they get no flack. HUNDREDS of movies, take ALOT of time AND PITFALLS to get made, if they're done RIGHT, which is the ONLY way I'm doing BombShell. We're making a movie that we're working on leaving an impact on every audience member who comes out of that theater.
The average time that it takes for a film to go into final production is 5-9 years. From what I've been told by my peers (the industry professionals, in case you didn't know what I meant) that I'm doing REALLY good, especially since I'm already being inducted into the Marquis Who's Who Of America for the accomplishments I've made SO FAR to date.
I'm thin-skinned? You better believe it, when it comes to people who go out of their way to attack a new film-maker whose doing everything possible to make a great film... but those Witch-Hunters won't send hate mail to Warner Brothers when their only attempt at a Green Lantern movie was going to entail Jack Black playing a GAY Green Lantern. You better believe I get thin-skinned about that. You would too, in the same boat.
By the way, I'll give you one other accomplishment of the film: The London Symphony Orchestra will be doing the music scores, conducted by Aleksander Dimitrijevich. The only reason I let you know that is because I'm sure even MacQuarrie couldn't call all of them to try and get them off the project.
How's that for a lone accomplishment in this film?
Lucas and Spielburg get nuts bothering them all the time... that's why their assistants take their calls and just hang up on them. I know because Spielburg was the first Director I went to, for directing this project, and I got through ALL 7 of his assistants (AND THEY KNEW OF THIS PROJECT VERY WELL). Mr. Spielburg decided that he'd like to do the project, but he was booked up for an extra 3 years and I decided to get Stewart Raffill for being a great director who makes sure that the film would not be changed as Mr. Spielburg might have done. He'll also be teaching me to direct and seeing to it that NOTHING is done in the film without MY approval and permission, unless I already wrote it in the script.
>sigh< They have eyes, but don't see...they have ears, but don't listen...they have brains but don't...uh...nevermind: they don't have brains. When Lightning Strikes #0 is published online, and a color cover-b/w interior special edition is up for sale now; the WLS Ashcan was a TOTAL sell-out, the posters have been and are STILL selling, and the BombShell #1 preview is online. If you want your local comic store to carry copies of the Special Edition WLS0, while waiting for the full-color (cover-to-cover) edition, tell them to contact us because that issue will not be distributed except directly from us to the dealers. After that, other titles/issues will go through Diamond. Everything that has to do with both hard-copy editions of WLS0 will do so through direct mail or directly to the dealers from me as well as the same for the posters. Otherwise, we have an online store with LBC merchandise that you can buy from by going to cafeshops.com/lbcstore.
I and my staff treat my customers with perfection. But, we don't believe in the "Customer is always right" crap because of people like MacQuarrie and his ilk. However, we do strongly abide by "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone" which has been around longer than the previous phrase. Even though you're attacking me and my company, in a sense, I'm still perfectly willing to want you as a customer... but a customer is a person who PAYS for merchandise or services. When you've done so, you'll be treated as my #1 customer. Ask anyone who knows me and my people. But, I don't take crap from ANYONE. I'm in the position where I don't have to. With that out of the way, how is it that you think I've let down customers (and PLEASE don't repeat crud that I've already proven untrue...or MacQuarrie)? What will it take for you to be one of my company's customers, in other words?
MacQuarrie didn't save me from squat because I don't and never have broken laws. I even carry around a copy of a paper that shows I have no criminal record along with a perfect driving record, only because donut-biters (cops) love harrassing long-haired guys that wear leather jackets and an earring, unless they find out that I'm J-Bolt. Then, their attitudes change DRASTICALLY.
As for my agent, we had a falling out because of what MacQuarrie did in harrassing her. She said she didn't want to deal with nuts like that, so I fired her. Anyone who works for me needs to be as strong-willed as I am, with no cowardice (unless they tick ME off). Now, your question is answered. I don't mean for that to sound egotistical, but it is the only way business should be done, in my opinion.
Like I said, hundreds of other films came out years after they were supposed to be. That's the way of Hollywood things. Crap happens. If, for some heavenly-unknown-reason, BombShell isn't released this year, I'll have to change it again... and I know the bashers will go after me as opposed to everyone else who has the same problems (most of them being SEASONED film-makers, while I'm the new guy on the block, already with a heckuva reputation for gettting things done that people tell me are impossible... but I'll be you guys' target... won't I?). So, if that happens, you'd better make your hate mail into a bulk mail for everyone else who gets the same types of problems.
I'm going to be perfectly honest with some info for you. One of the reasons BombShell kept getting delayed (besides the Bash Forum interruptions) was because Hollywood "Professionals" don't do their jobs often and I was drumming the money up myself. Over a year ago, a financing firm CAME TO ME to give me the money needed to do it...but they are still needing the due diligence fees, for the attorneys and other things that can't come out of the production money. It is MORE difficult to get $100,000 than it was to get the millions to make this film, believe it or not. That's been a recent problem that I will have an answer by March. Then, we'll know if it's going to come out on time or I have to delay it one more year, again. So, now you have the answer to that question. EVERY movie-maker has run into the same type of problem, including the seasoned ones. DON'T SINGLE ME OUT.
You have far from zero from me if you'd just look and listen. The Internet is great for that...you can learn a lot. MacQuarrie doesn't know his butt from a hole in the ground, so don't take HIS word for anything. Use your own mind because you sound intelligent, but your absence of informational facts leads me to doubt you.
Your statement: "a family of companies (all unnamed, all unknown, so we cannot verify if the companies even exist)" is a perfect example of that, considering that we're even listed with Dunn & Bradstreet (which was done and announced a few years back). The Who's Who In America puts us (me) in the history books FOREVER. Now... would you like to have another shot at that statement?
I am MORE than reliable. I've ALWAYS backed up what I say and I've even given more info here than I really wanted. If you still don't agree, than your eyes, ears and mind are STILL CLOSED!
Yours truly,
J-Bolt
President/CEO
Lightning Bolt Entertainment family of companies
EDIT AGAIN:

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Zomboid Zomboid is offline
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Old Feb 15th, 2005, 08:59 PM       
I wonder if any of this is for real. I really hope it is because it'd make it a lot funnier than it already is.
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pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Feb 15th, 2005, 09:04 PM       
Serisouly, this is like if comedy gold vomited liquid comedy gold and then slipped in its own comedy gold vomit with slide flute sound effects.

The MacQuarrie guy he keeps bitching about has a short article about him here: http://www.monkeyspit.net/rantman/jbolt.php
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Drev Drev is offline
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Old Feb 15th, 2005, 10:23 PM       
They should just do a live action movie with Adam West as the Mayor of Quahog. No Family Guy cameos in it at all. Just him.
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Old Feb 16th, 2005, 02:52 PM       
Reminds me of that Mad TV sketch Glamazon Huntresses...
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Old Feb 16th, 2005, 05:50 PM       
Quote:
Adam West as the Mayor of Quahog
One of the best characters on that show imo.

I say this is all bull...
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