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  #1  
Bod Bod is offline
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Old Sep 10th, 2008, 06:19 PM        My Life is Currently like a Bad Sitcom
I really don't believe it......

What has recently happened to me could be straight from 'One Foot in The Grave'.

My local City Council or RENEW are serving me with a Compulsory Purchase Order so they can knock down my house. Now that was bad. It's a scheme to improve housing in the UK, kicking people out of the houses they own and giving them a shitty price for it. Quite legal and for our own good though apparently because we live in working class homes we are too stupid to realise it. This has been going on for 9 months and I was getting my head around it. BTW there's nothing wrong with my house, it's in very good condition, but it's a terrace and some in the row behind me are a bit dodgy. So of course the whole block has to go and has absolutely nothing to do with the road the council wants to build to all the new crappy flats they've built recently.

So I eventually found a new home and last week I had my offer accepted and the mortgage company agreed the transfer. All was going well and I went on holiday for a week, thinking all my worries were over.

Yesterday the Estate Agent phoned me, a little nervous, this was a new one on her. RENEW have made a bit of a mistake.... they've accidentally entered my NEW home and gutted it!! Ripped out the carpets, the kitchen, bathroom and fireplace. Totally empty now.

Not sure how this happened but I've been told that 'someone' got the wrong street. So when the key they were given didn't open the lock, 'someone' drilled the lock and broke in and tore everything out. Then replaced the lock with a new one. Who knows who has the key now.

My housing Agent laughed hysterically, the Council Solicitor was aghast. I was gob smacked and couldn't stop laughing too, but it is quite serious.

So not only are they knocking down my current home, they've buggered up my new one. As the mortgage company haven't inspected the property yet, I may no longer get the mortgage because the property is no longer as described when the price agreed.

The new house being gutted is totally disconnected to my current house being demolished, but quite an amazing coincidence, being done to the same person by the same organisation. Bad luck like this is the stuff of comedy.

This could only happen to me.
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  #2  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Sep 10th, 2008, 06:25 PM       
So are they going to pay you for the fuckup, or are they going full-on socialist bureaucratic on your sorry ass?
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  #3  
Bod Bod is offline
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Old Sep 10th, 2008, 06:30 PM       
I'm meeting some people about it tomorrow, but no one is quite sure what happens in this situation as no one involved has ever come across a situation like this before. It's quite unique.
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Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Sep 10th, 2008, 06:40 PM       
Petition a group of hippies to stand outside your old house to keep em from demolishing it until they fix the new one.
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  #5  
MetalMilitia MetalMilitia is offline
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Old Sep 10th, 2008, 06:44 PM       
You should give The Sun a call, they love stories about the government's incompetence. I'm sure they could come up with a catchy headline too - "RENEWBS".
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  #6  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Sep 10th, 2008, 06:53 PM       
"I don't be-lieve it!"

Ever seen the Father Ted ep where he beats Father Ted up for shouting the catchphrase?

Anyhow, it seems like it's their fault and up to them to make things right.
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  #7  
Bod Bod is offline
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Old Sep 10th, 2008, 07:01 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dimnos View Post
Petition a group of hippies to stand outside your old house to keep em from demolishing it until they fix the new one.
I considered lying in front of the bulldozers myself, what with it being the end of the world today, it would quite apt. But as the terraces are on a hill, once the others are knocked down, mine will slide down the hill into a disused factory anyhow.
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  #8  
Bod Bod is offline
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Old Sep 10th, 2008, 07:08 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitsa View Post
"I don't be-lieve it!"



Anyhow, it seems like it's their fault and up to them to make things right.
Yes it is, but previous dealing with them makes me think it won't. Loads of people in my area have been so badly ripped off by them. In fact the stress of Compulsory Purchase Orders has caused two heart attacks in elderly residents, killing one. Another elderly couple have to move out quick because the guy is dying of cancer and wants to settle his wife in a new home before he dies. Many people in my area cannot get a new mortgage because they are too old, so are being kicked out of houses they fully own to now have to rent for the rest of their lives. They've gutted many houses without turning off the water and flooding the neighbours. The area has turned into a huge crimefest because people are looting for lead/copper/fixtures etc and nothing is being done despite many complaints. The best help the local police to is read out a list of local crimes committed at residents meeting and telling us to paint any tools stored in sheds pink so that they are hard for thieves to sell in the pubs. I don't know where to get suitable pink paint for tools to gayify mine.

So I'm not depending on them to do the right thing. Stupid people don't know how to.
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  #9  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Sep 10th, 2008, 09:22 PM       
That is why you should get The Sun involved.
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  #10  
DevilWearsPrada DevilWearsPrada is offline
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Old Sep 10th, 2008, 11:07 PM       
Wait for the bulldozers to come, lie down in front of one. Then go to the pub
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DevilWearsPrada DevilWearsPrada is offline
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Old Sep 10th, 2008, 11:08 PM       
rather, trick the foreman into trading places with you
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  #12  
executioneer executioneer is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2008, 12:50 AM       
would you read the fucking thread already, d to the p
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  #13  
Evil Robot Evil Robot is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2008, 01:56 AM       
They can't touch your house without a 27 stroke C.
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  #14  
Chojin Chojin is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2008, 05:33 AM       
drink 3 beers and then ask ford about your home
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  #15  
Zhukov Zhukov is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2008, 07:27 AM       
I was pretty appalled when I open this "newspaper" and there are naked ladies in it! It was in public and I was embarrassed. But it turns out it's normal, and that maybe describing it as a newspaper is a bit generous.

I'm sure they can help.
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  #16  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2008, 01:06 PM       
Get a business loan and buy a small apartment building and rent it out to the old people who can get a mortgage. Then get a government subsidy for taking in the impoverished. You will have government money and old people money then.
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  #17  
pac-man pac-man is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2008, 03:01 PM       
Old people money smells weird.
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  #18  
Shrubfest Shrubfest is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2008, 04:08 PM       
Man, where do you live? It sounds like it should be near me.
We keep getting stuff nicked, like our gate.
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  #19  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2008, 04:22 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by pac-man View Post
Old people money smells weird.
Deposit it in the bank and you dont have to smell it. It spends the same over a check card.
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Exactly. Life's too short to not be ejaculating as often as possible
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  #20  
DevilWearsPrada DevilWearsPrada is offline
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Old Sep 11th, 2008, 06:34 PM       
Take peanuts, you lose a lot of sodium in teleportation
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  #21  
Chojin Chojin is offline
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Old Sep 12th, 2008, 06:16 AM       
place the junk mail in front of the hole, hang the towel on a hook, and press the red dispenser button.
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  #22  
McClain McClain is offline
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Old Sep 12th, 2008, 01:39 PM       
Do you have an attorney? That would be my first step. Then I'd put my events to paper and market the story.
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  #23  
sloth sloth is offline
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Old Sep 12th, 2008, 04:19 PM       
I used to work at a housing quango. you're right, the key could be with anyone. the road to recompense is long, arduous and fraught with bureaucracy.

go to the papers - they might be shits, and you might have to perfect your 'expression of anger/disgruntlement' for the photos, but councils act quickest when they're saving face.
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  #24  
Bod Bod is offline
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Old Sep 12th, 2008, 06:47 PM       
I have been to the local paper and was interviewed. They made me stand on the doorstep and look woefully up the street for a photograph. They made me do other traditional local paper poses too, looking around the doorframe and one foot against the wall. The humiliation was immense.

I've contacted Citizen's Advice Bureau to see what can be done. May need a solicitor. Mortgage company wants various things in writing. It's one big ball ache. I picked the wrong time to give up drinking.
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  #25  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Sep 12th, 2008, 08:16 PM       
I hope you scan the article and show it to us.
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