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  #76  
Dixie Dixie is offline
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Old Sep 23rd, 2008, 03:03 PM       
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Originally Posted by Grislygus View Post
LordSappington: "Damnit! DAMMIT!"
DevilWearsPrada: "What is it?"

LordSappington: "Marla dumped me, Nearl!"
DevilWearsPrada: "I thought you were just going to see a movie."

LordSappington: "She couldn't handle it! When I told her about how I have a pretty good chance of getting cancer when I'm older, she said she didn't want to have to deal with that. I'm such a failure."
DevilWearsPrada: "You told her that?"

LordSappington: "Dammit!"
DevilWearsPrada: "You never told that to me, Toby."

LordSappington: "Women are very good at making me feel like a worthless sack of crap."
DevilWearsPrada: "Hey, hey, don't talk like that." (inches closer) "who needs women anyway, huh? I'm sure you'll find someone who likes you for who you are."



LordSappington: "Someone who likes nut cancer."
For some reason I'm picturing those two as Nermal and Odie.
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  #77  
DevilWearsPrada DevilWearsPrada is offline
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Old Sep 23rd, 2008, 06:51 PM       
Well jeez gus no need to look at my message archives

-DevilWearsPrada
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  #78  
LordSappington LordSappington is offline
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Old Sep 23rd, 2008, 08:47 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grislygus View Post
LordSappington: "Damnit! DAMMIT!"
DevilWearsPrada: "What is it?"

LordSappington: "Marla dumped me, Nearl!"
DevilWearsPrada: "I thought you were just going to see a movie."

LordSappington: "She couldn't handle it! When I told her about how I have a pretty good chance of getting cancer when I'm older, she said she didn't want to have to deal with that. I'm such a failure."
DevilWearsPrada: "You told her that?"

LordSappington: "Dammit!"
DevilWearsPrada: "You never told that to me, Toby."

LordSappington: "Women are very good at making me feel like a worthless sack of crap."
DevilWearsPrada: "Hey, hey, don't talk like that." (inches closer) "who needs women anyway, huh? I'm sure you'll find someone who likes you for who you are."



LordSappington: "Someone who likes nut cancer."
*facepalm* I didn't just say 'Oh hey, I have cancer', she brought up how bad it must suck having cancer when we saw some poor kid who'd had chemo, and I said 'Yeah, yeah it does' and it went downhill from her.
What a bitch.
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  #79  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Sep 23rd, 2008, 09:26 PM       
Ah, the old sympathy play. I am not against this move, I just wouldn't try doing it with cancer. Next time try a broken arm or get you bike stolen.
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  #80  
LordSappington LordSappington is offline
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Old Sep 23rd, 2008, 09:56 PM       
Ha, I doubt anyone CAN steal my bike. It's made out of old Soviet war tanks, and weighs about 500 pounds, maybe.
Either way it's a shitty bike.
Also, I DO have nut cancer, it is currently in remission, and yes, it did suck terribly.
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  #81  
Dixie Dixie is offline
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Old Sep 23rd, 2008, 11:21 PM       
Tell a story where you got in a fight defending a girl's "honor" and you have a bad knee from it. Works alot better.
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  #82  
Grislygus Grislygus is offline
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Old Sep 24th, 2008, 02:17 PM       
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Originally Posted by DevilWearsPrada View Post
Well jeez gus no need to look at my message archives

-DevilWearsPrada
Thanks for the last minute reaffirm of your name there, wouldn't have gotten it without ya!

So, you've gone from 'probably going to' get cancer to 'having nut cancer in remission' (both loose paraphrases, for the humorless and overly literal). Well, it's simple, kid, that kind of progression in a few days is pretty intense. You need to latch those festering, cancerous hooks into a girl before the inward rot affects those dashing good looks of yours.

Only one way to handle that. Get a leather jacket, ray bans sunglasses, start smoking (what to you have to lose, right? [and smake a damn cigar, nancy faggot]), and roar through your town with Shadow of Knight's I am the Hunter blasting at full volume in a 1968 Charger (or, that being an impossibility, a car more suited to your personality, such as an AMC Gremlin). Don't forget to avoid condoms, you're dying here, get that genetically deficient seed out there, man!
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  #83  
Chojin Chojin is offline
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Old Sep 24th, 2008, 03:52 PM       
that sounds like a terrific plan for anyone who's short on time, really.
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  #84  
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Old Sep 24th, 2008, 06:24 PM       
dress properly crack an intellectual joke hehe.
but you dont actuallh need to impress her,what you must do is to show how serious you are even i simplest ways!
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  #85  
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Old Sep 24th, 2008, 06:27 PM       
Why do spam bots have to talk?
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  #86  
DevilWearsPrada DevilWearsPrada is offline
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Old Sep 24th, 2008, 06:47 PM       
dont need to actuallh impress her, just buy cleaning maid cheap online now ForEx buy sell made easy
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  #87  
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Old Sep 24th, 2008, 07:41 PM       
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Originally Posted by Grislygus View Post
...an AMC Gremlin). Don't forget to avoid condoms, you're dying here, get that genetically deficient seed out there, man!
This is why I love you.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU PUNY LITTLE BASTARD. I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE A MAN OUT OF YA, OBVIOUSLY, BUT COME BY ANY TIME AND I'LL WHIP YOUR SUPPLE LITTLE GIRL BODY INTO A SHAPE

LOVE, YOUR FIJIAN HOST DAD
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  #88  
LordSappington LordSappington is offline
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Old Sep 25th, 2008, 12:05 AM       
Actually I'm sterile.
Awkward....
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  #89  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Sep 25th, 2008, 12:06 AM       
OH THANK GOD!
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  #90  
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Old Sep 25th, 2008, 01:47 AM       
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Actually I'm sterile.
Awkward....
You should be having sex with reckless abandon.
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  #91  
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Old Sep 25th, 2008, 09:36 AM       
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Actually I'm sterile.
Awkward....
You will have to lie about this, girls only put up with sex because it MIGHT result in a baby for them.
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  #92  
LordSappington LordSappington is offline
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Old Sep 25th, 2008, 05:58 PM       
None of the girls I could ever like. I even have shirt that says 'I hate babies'.
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  #93  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Sep 27th, 2008, 10:06 PM       
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None of the girls I could ever like. I even have shirt that says 'I hate babies'.

You should try guys then. Being sterile makes felching that much easier .
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  #94  
Dixie Dixie is offline
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Old Sep 27th, 2008, 10:18 PM       

?
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  #95  
LordSappington LordSappington is offline
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Old Sep 28th, 2008, 12:46 AM       
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Originally Posted by 10,000 Volt Ghost View Post
You should try guys then. Being sterile makes felching that much easier .
Admittedly, he DOES have a valid point.
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