Features

mburbank · #1

I don't mean too young to hold a steady job, I don't mean not working by choice, I mean laid off, fired, shit canned and unable to find work.

I got downsized June 10'th, I've had two interviews and didn't get either job.

One of them offered me 20 hours a week of teaching, plus they'd throw in an internship that I could use toward pursuing my teaching certificate.

I'd love to take it. If I did, though, I'd loose all my unemployment benefits, including health care coverage for my family.

So basically, I can't take any sort of decent part time work, I just have to keep looking until I can get a full time job with good benefits.

Now it's your turn to bitch about being unemployed.

McClain · #2

I took a job with Sallie Mae a couple years ago doing web design. I was employed by an IT placement agency and I was managed by Sallie Mae, however, the work I was doing was for a subsidiary company called USA Funds. It was an interesting situation... in that none of the three entities effectively communicated about my role. While USA Funds was pleased with the design work I was doing, my Sallie Mae supervisor thought otherwise. Which is ironic because the man couldn't tell good design from balls on his forehead.

I got called in to the office at about my 5 month mark and I saw an HR rep sitting there. I knew I was either getting permanently hired in to Sallie Mae or fired.

It was the latter.

I moved away from Indianapolis and back home and immediately got a job doing web design for a private insurance company. My wife worked there, too, which is how I found out about the job. It was a mixed blessing; saved money on gas but couldn't seem to get away from eachother. During the initial interview process I sold myself primarily as a web designer with the ability to do some development work. I put extra emphasis on the "designer" skill. I didn't want to get consideration as a developer.

My tenure with this company was spent doing development and analysis of internal database bullshit. You know that line from Office Space?

"I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work."

That was me. I'd receive a project, and because I knew that it was the only work I was going to be given (in spite of me asking for more) I had to stretch what otherwise could have been done in a day in to a week-long task. The rest of my time was spent pretending I was busy, trolling forums and browsing the web through proxy's because the filters the company had in place were stringent. I'd take trips to the supply closet to see if they had any new types of pens I could pilfer. I would take naps in the bathroom; sitting in a stall with my chin rested on my hands.

We had absolutely NO customer interaction, yet male employees were forced to wear ties and women had to wear dresses and PANTY HOSE. I swear to god this is true. I complained about the assinine nature of these regulations every chance I got. Most people there were generally undertasked as I was, but the compensation was so friggin' sweet that they opted to coast through their employment. It was burning a hole in my soul.

When I'd ask for more work my supervisor would tell me he didn't have anything at the moment, but now would be a good time for me to teach myself more about some shitty developer tool I gave two shits about. Shit.

When it came time for my review I got marks so low that it actually gave me a laugh. I had a very successful 8-year-career in the Navy, acheiving high marks, advancing first among my peers, and having made a name for myself within our community. Here? I was merely clocking in and out. And when it came time for them to actually fire me (reason: my job wasn't mutually beneficial to either party) it took them 20 minutes to muster up the courage to actually say the words. I looked across the table at my boss and his hands were actually trembling. His eye contact was intermittent and he was excessively fidgety.

I was fuckin' Cool Hand Luke. I had to comfort them and tell them it was okay. The sighs of relief were audible. My heart should have been pumping (FIRED TWICE IN ONE YEAR? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?) but instead they were the nervous wrecks.

Before this final meeting I had already accepted my fate and was actually looking forward to being let go. The job was a waste of my time and skills, but it paid well. I opted to let them fire me so I could collect unemployment. I have pride, but not that much.

After that job I spent 5 months looking for work. I had the self-satisfaction of a hot gym sock and similar motivation. I was a bit hesitant to get back in to web design after the previous two experiences... not to mention there's not much of a market for this line of work where I live. I was very picky and while I could have gotten back in to work in a short time doing something I had no interest in, I opted to wait it out and hope for something interesting.

I got lucky and landed the job I'm in now, but there are times I wonder if I'm on the right career path. I'm closing in on 30, I'm married with two kids and a mortgage... At what point am I supposed to figure this shit out?

/fin

TLDR version: Got fired. Got hired. Got fired again. Got guarded. Got rewarded. Got iffy.

Tadao · #3

Last time I worked, I was fired while living in a small town. I couldn't find another job because everybody shopped at the only Health Food grocery store I was fired from. I ended up moving back to the LA area.

Zomboid · #4

There's pretty much no shortage of work here, but the major thing is oil field and while that offers great money, it means a lot of time away from home and working 12-15 hour days for 20 at a time. I'm starting a four year program for professional writing with my final two terms being paid work place experience. The idea is, I love writing in general and prefer NOT to have to wear coveralls and work boots at work. That, and running the risk of being killed by any of the numerous dangers in the oil field doesn't really appeal to me.

SO here's hoping that when I'm done and I get my degree, there's plenty of work as a freelance writer

Fathom Zero · #5

haha, get a load of this guy, he's a writer.

mburbank · #6

McClain, that is a beautiful, beautiful story. Let me give you some uplifting news. I am 46, have two kids and a mortgage, and I am pretty sure at this point that no one figures anything out.

Zomboid, what kind of writing are you training in? Are we talking journalism, technical, MFA type fiction stuff?

Zomboid · #7

Communications, but the program delves into technical, screenwriting, etc. Any of the electives that I get, I'm going for the creative/fictional writing. It's one of the competitive programs, so I'm happy that I got in pretty easily. There seems to be emphasis on the arts aspect of it too, and it's in the "Leslie Nielsen School of Communications" section of my campus and there's some collaboration with the design students.

AChimp · #8

Max, have you thought about being a fluffer for pornos?

mburbank · #9

McClain · #10

How do you think he broke in to the museum industry to begin with?

Zomboid · #11

I always assumed he gave the curator a lap dance.

McClain · #12

Two words which have probably never been spoken in the same sentence; curator & lapdance.

Jimboroni · #13

I'm "technically" employed. I just graduated from college, and I work a $10 per DAY internship at a radio station (just enough to pay for gas). Most of what I do consists of sound editing and writing ad copy. Since I'm no longer a student, I can't get course credit as compensation, so the arrangement is actually illegal. I guess you have to get experience somehow. Supposedly some people at another company are passing my resume around, and I'm praying that I get offered a position. And money.

Evil Robot · #14

The term "fired" came from the 17th century practice of burning the hands of the incompetent. This still takes place in parts of North Korea, Iran and Texas.

Mockery · #15

Max, damn that sucks about not being able to take the part-time jobs that sound nice. Hopefully something will come along soon enough. September is a" big hiring month", right? o.o

"I am pretty sure at this point that no one figures anything out."

Preach on Max, preach on...

Mcclain, so wait, you are in web design again or you're doing something else? Also, weren't you pursuing law enforcement for a while? Where does that fit into the big story you typed up there... I didn't see it mentioned. :O

As for me, I've never been fired, I've just been reprimanded for inappropriate behavior in the workplace. I think I still have a notice Circuit City gave me for having a bad screensaver on my screen.

These days, I'm busier than ever with work and I may have taken on more than I can chew all at once. If that proves to be the case after a few months have gone by, I may have to cut something loose or rework my weekly schedule into something more manageable so I don't get burned out. Having a lot of work can be a mixed blessing... yeah, it's great if you're doing what you like (and the extra padding in your wallet never hurts), but the lack of relaxation time can definitely get to ya. :O

McClain · #16

Yeah, I'm in web design. Again. Though this time I work for a publisher and my job title is (no lie) Marketing Communication Specialist / Webmaster. At least that's what my business cards say.
Which is actually a load of shit... because I'm soooo much more.

I had my stint w/ law enforcement. It didn't pan out but I still think about pursuing it all the time. The positives outweigh the negatives.

GOOD:
Guns
Power
Intimidation
Special Treatment
Carte Blanche

BAD:
Moustache
No More Pot

See?