I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Dimnos]

The LOL swazi?!

Spoilers!

[DevilWearsPrada]

anime hitler

[dirtyxblondexdame]

found this in my wallet last week. i work for an Israeli company, so the irony is amazing:

[dirtyxblondexdame]

oh and i gave this bill as change for a $20 to one of my (Israeli) coworkers, who thought it was hysterical and walked around screaming "WHITE POWER!!!!!" all day.

yes i told her before i handed it over.

[Aaarg]

somebody asked me to identify a tree and i guessed and i was right.

and it wasn't even one we learned in my dendrology class. it was on the list of ones to learn, but we didn't get around to finding them.

i think i somehow recalled my ex-girlfriend saying "oh, a catalpa" as we passed one a long time ago.

SWEET.

[Colonel Flagg]

This buys you about 2-3 weeks of believable bullshit before someone calls you on it. Use this power only for good.

[Aaarg]

BS about trees, I guess.

[dirtyxblondexdame]

what genius is sitting around going "hmmm, how can i impress these people on i-mockery?!?!?!? I KNOW!!! I'll pretend i know alot about.............TREES!!! that'll get 'em"

cause, you know, dendrology is like rocket science, only with trees.

wait, dendrology is a real word? no way.

[dirtyxblondexdame]

on a different note, i just heard the dumbest thing ever at work:

Customer: "so, you're gonna email me something, and then i have to fax it back? WAIT how can i fax it back if it's in my email?!??!?!? oh, wait............."

[Kitsa]

I think my mom would lose a basic snake survival test. She went to a zoo where they had nonvenomous and venomous side by side with a sign explaining how to spot the differences between them.

On her photos, she's labeled a copperhead as an eastern milk snake and a coral snake as a Sinoloan milk snake. The good news (I guess) is that she also labeled an eastern milk snake as an eastern milk snake and a Sinoloan milk snake as a Sinoloan milk snake. I think if I wasn't sure I would have gone with the opposite.

She's a rampant killer of snakes despite all my best efforts. A copperhead struck at her once and that was it...all snakes were as good as dead in her book.

[Aaarg]

i don't pretend i know a lot about trees. i took a dendrology class two years ago and i had a lucky guess on identifying a tree.

i'm not trying to impress anybody, this is just how boring my life is.

yes dendrology is a real word and it's a very important class for anybody in a natural resources program at school.

[The Leader]

Originally Posted by dirtyxblondexdame

what genius is sitting around going "hmmm, how can i impress these people on i-mockery?!?!?!? I KNOW!!! I'll pretend i know alot about.............TREES!!! that'll get 'em"

cause, you know, dendrology is like rocket science, only with trees.

wait, dendrology is a real word? no way.

I don't like this person.

[Shyandquietguy]

Hey guys, I am thinking of applying for a dead body job. I plan on practicing Igro lines and tease the co-workers about them having sex with the bodies 24/7.

P.S. "Yeah man I can step out. Dead bodies, right? From the cemetary? Yeah, no problem man."

[Colonel Flagg]

Sex with the dead .... don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

[Dixie]

I'm pretty sure my last lay could have been declared dead.

[Aaarg]

I had a sex dream the other night and in it, the girl was bored.

That's how dead my sex life currently is. It's not even decent in my dreams.

[Shyandquietguy]

Maybe it's time for drastic measures? Ever try fire sex? You have to penetrate as fast as you can as you are doused by live embers.

[Tadao]

[Kitsa]

So this magazine stole some of my artwork off the internet and published it and never told me; I heard from one of their readers.

I wrote the magazine.

They want to know my address so they can tell me how much a copy will cost me.

Now them's balls.

[dirtyxblondexdame]

just got out of a meeting, please tell me why i had to come in 2 hours early to listen to my boss talk about recycling plastic bags and how to upload videos on facebook?!?!?!?

*headdesk*

[Colonel Flagg]

Originally Posted by Kitsa

So this magazine stole some of my artwork off the internet and published it and never told me; I heard from one of their readers.

I wrote the magazine.

They want to know my address so they can tell me how much a copy will cost me.

Now them's balls.

Wow. They're either bold and confident, or just clueless. I'm betting the latter.

[dirtyxblondexdame]

http://thechive.com/2009/08/10-reaso...rn/#more-47256

http://thechive.com/2009/08/9-reason...os/#more-46569

edit: 1st link is "Reasons it would rule to date a unicorn"
2nd link is "Reasons it would suck to date a T-Rex"

[Zhukov]

Originally Posted by Kitsa

So this magazine stole some of my artwork off the internet and published it and never told me; I heard from one of their readers.

I wrote the magazine.

They want to know my address so they can tell me how much a copy will cost me.

Now them's balls.

It seems nothing goes right for you Kitsa

I hope you throw the book at them.

[dirtyxblondexdame]

i booked a $12,000 move last week. move went fine, management was thrilled with me.............

...............untill the customer called up with $75,000 worth of damage.

D'oh.

[The Leader]

dirtyxblondexdame, we don't care about your life. Stop trying.