Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Discussion Forums > Philosophy, Politics, and News
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
KevinTheOmnivore KevinTheOmnivore is offline
Mocker
KevinTheOmnivore's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Brooklyn, NY
KevinTheOmnivore is probably a spambot
Old Dec 31st, 2006, 12:59 PM        Predictions for 2007
So with a new year rapidly approaching, I was thinking it might be swell if everybody used their psychic powers and gave us some of their predictions for the New Year.

So, uh, here we go.....

- Troop levels will be slightly and temporarily increased in Iraq (with the help of Joe Biden), and sectarain violence in Iraq will lessen. Maliki is out, and somebody close to Grand Ayatollah al-Sistani will be in. Muqtada al-Sadr will either be a player in a cease fire, or he'll be a dead man (ok, so that's wishy washy).

- Conditions will improve in Afghanistan, with more cooperation from the Pakistani government (this one is sort of cheating, but whatever).

- Not much will change in Darfur.

- Barack Obama will decide not to run for president in 2008.

- Michael Bloomberg will decide to run as an independent for president in 2008 (and will spend a shit ton of money)

- There will be a late 2007 effort to draft Sen. Jim Webb for a presidential run.

- The candidacy of John Edwards, along with the 2007 Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, and attacks from the Commentariat, will force President Bush and Congress to revisit Katrina and address the reconstruction of the city.

- The new Democratic majority in Congress will hold all sorts of hearings that ultimately result in little.

- The New York Yankees will win the World Series, and Jose Reyes will break his leg.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Courage the Cowardly Dog Courage the Cowardly Dog is offline
Unmedicated genius
Courage the Cowardly Dog's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Nowhere, Missouri
Courage the Cowardly Dog is probably a spambot
Old Dec 31st, 2006, 06:24 PM       
the Y2.7K bug will crash computers in a few hours and we will all dye a horrible fiery death as nuclear holocaust ensues and GEGGY KNEW IT ALL ALONG!

Oh C'mon it's more plausible then the Yankees winning the Penant.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Preechr Preechr is offline
=======
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: NA
Preechr is probably a spambot
Old Jan 2nd, 2007, 05:38 AM       
The Falcons fire their head coach
__________________
mburbank~ Yes, okay, fine, I do know what you meant, but why is it not possible for you to get through a paragraph without making all the words cry?

How can someone who obviously thinks so much of their ideas have so little respect for expressing them? How can someone who so yearns to be taken seriously make so little effort?!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
mburbank mburbank is offline
The Moxie Nerve Food Tonic
mburbank's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: right behind you
mburbank has disabled reputation
Old Jan 3rd, 2007, 04:14 PM       
Pat Robertson says there will be a terrorist attack on the United states much larger the 9/11, possibly nuclear. I knew he'd never post here, so I thought I'd do his for him.

Here's mine.

1.) There will be a troop surge, Secterian violence will die down temporaily, but only in direct proportion to both sides fighting us. This will be a brief reaction and will be followed by a return to and growth in Sectarian violence. The failure of the Surge will torpedo McCains presidential hopes.

2.) Al Sadr will not play a part in any cease fire that includes ceding any real authority to Sunnis. He may well end up dead (anybody outside the Green Zone might and we'll certainly be gunning for him)

3.) The President will be forced to 'mull over' and 'listen to people' about katrina, but he'll be unable to find anyone competent to actually do anything about it. There will be some repairs to photo opp worthy sites, and at least one major speech, but the 9'th ward will look a lot like it does right now a year from now. And don't forget there's a hurricane season a year just itching to take advantage of how little real work has been done.

4.) Conditions in Afghanistan will remain the same IF Nato doesn't decide it's in their interests to make a much more major commitment and screw looking for us to do anything more than we're doing and IF the Taliban don't land a succseful punch. If they do, the sleeping giant will awake once more and drop lots and lots of bombs on both sides of the Pakistani/Afghanistan border.

5.) I think Obama will continue to tease as long as possible, waiting to see if Clinton and Edwards can do each other any damage and what plays better, populism or triangulation.

6.) The Democratic leadership will hold hearings and pussyfoot at the same time, unable to find a spine even in so terrified of a backlash they infuriate their supporters as much as their detractors. However, a steady stream of adminstration lies will be uncovered and a steady stream of rats will continue to leave the sinking ship, leaving Chenney spending most of his time stonewalling divulging anything all the way to the supreme court and W looking more and more sullen and angry. He will eventually snap in public, shouting obscenities at some reporter in a clip that will be set to a techno beat and downloaded over and over on Youtube.

7.) Andrew Dice Clay will make a massive comeback.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
mburbank mburbank is offline
The Moxie Nerve Food Tonic
mburbank's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: right behind you
mburbank has disabled reputation
Old Jan 3rd, 2007, 04:24 PM       
8.) US and Israeli special forces will make small forays into Iran, attempting to provoke an incident. The Iranis will take the bait. Israel will bomb Iran everywhere they think they might have anything to do with their Nuclear program. We might wait until Iraq retaliates, or we might act preemptively against retaliation, but in any case we bomb the crap out of Iran and for good measure we throw in Syria whom we accuse of collaborating with Iran. Hugely widening the Middle East war and expanding the zone of chaos, all questions of withdrawl from Iraq become moot and we are drawn far more deeply into a state of perpetual war, guaranteeing vastly increased Presidential powers and reinvigoarating the sate of fear W found so condussive to governing.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
adept_ninja adept_ninja is offline
Member
adept_ninja's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: nap town MD
adept_ninja is probably a spambot
Old Jan 3rd, 2007, 06:59 PM       
1) Joe Gibbs will step down as Red Skins coach.

2)More troops will be placed in iraq in preperation for the war with Iran.

3)We will go to war with Iran.

4)Nothing will change in Afghanistan or Iraq they will both stay fucked up.

5)Tim Silvia will lose the UFC heavy weight belt to Mirkro cro cop 2nd round via left kick from hell to the head.

6)Takanori Gomi will lose the pride lightweight belt to Marcus Areillo via arm triangle.

7)DA BEARS will win the superbowl.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Ant10708 Ant10708 is offline
Mocker
Ant10708's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: New York
Ant10708 is probably a spambot
Old Jan 3rd, 2007, 07:19 PM       
Maybe you should stick with sports and pretend you never heard about politics, ninja.
__________________
I'm all for the idea of stoning the rapists, but to death...? That's a bit of a stretch, but I think the system will work. - Geggy
Reply With Quote
  #8  
adept_ninja adept_ninja is offline
Member
adept_ninja's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: nap town MD
adept_ninja is probably a spambot
Old Jan 3rd, 2007, 07:27 PM       
ok well at the end of 2007 we will see how many of those predictions come true. Do i hope im full of shit? I sure do but the way things are going this seems to be the road that we are going towards. Things in Afghanistan are getting worse and without any other support they will continue to get worse.

The surge of troops will happen but they will not help and i dont believe that the Bush administartion really cares i think its more to cut supply lines and to have more troops ready to move into Iran.

All the sports related shit that pretains to MMA will happen without a doubt if any of you follow MMA.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
DehydratedPorkMan DehydratedPorkMan is offline
Out of his element.
DehydratedPorkMan's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Exit 9
DehydratedPorkMan is probably a spambot
Old Jan 4th, 2007, 09:15 AM       
Hillary Clinton, having the election rigged my Madeline Albright causing her to win, will accidentally set off all the missles in a PMS-induced rage. But I guarentee the nuclear winter will make for some fun radioactive snowball fights.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
DehydratedPorkMan DehydratedPorkMan is offline
Out of his element.
DehydratedPorkMan's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Exit 9
DehydratedPorkMan is probably a spambot
Old Jan 4th, 2007, 09:15 AM       
Oh wait 2007. She'll still rig it to be the front-runner. I'm getting all hibbity jibbity about it.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
El Blanco El Blanco is offline
Mocker
El Blanco's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New York, NY
El Blanco is probably a spambot
Old Jan 4th, 2007, 09:42 AM       
1) Tom Coughlin will remain as Giants head coach because he has two more years on his contract. So, we get to suffer through another year of under acheiving.

2) Clinton and Edwards will tear at each other on their way to a Democratic race and simply remind us all that as bad as the Bush administration has looked, the Democrats can't offer much better.

3) China will step up in Afghanistan in an effort to increase their role in the international community.

4) Troop surges in Iraq will help to temporarily quell the violence, but that problem isn't going away soon.

5) I still won't give a damn about American Idol, no matter how often my girlfriend tries to shove it down my throat.

6) Vic Mackey will be a hair away from going to jail, but have a brilliant scam to get away and look like a hero, again. And he'll kill Shane.

7) Jack Bauer will torture his way into saving the US (or atleast Los angeles) one more time, before quitting, yet again.

8) CroCop will have two or three fights before he is supposed to fight Sylvia, but will be complacent in the last one and get upset.

9) The Yankees pitching staff will just get older and less effective and make the playoffs by the skin of their teeth, because Steinbrenner will grab some hitting from a small market team.

10) Gay-Rod still won't be able to handle the pressure and will eventually have his mom walk him to the plate.

11) Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran will both have MVP type years, but lose to Nomar because its kind of odd to be the most valuable player on a team with another MVP candidate.

12) I'll but the damn house already

13) Dick cheney will step down as VP and be replaced by.......

14) Axel Rose still won't Release Chinese Democracy
Reply With Quote
  #12  
DehydratedPorkMan DehydratedPorkMan is offline
Out of his element.
DehydratedPorkMan's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Exit 9
DehydratedPorkMan is probably a spambot
Old Jan 4th, 2007, 11:48 AM       
Oh one more.

Castro's gonna get pwned by his own health.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
kahljorn won the popularity contestkahljorn won the popularity contestkahljorn won the popularity contestkahljorn won the popularity contestkahljorn won the popularity contestkahljorn won the popularity contestkahljorn won the popularity contestkahljorn won the popularity contestkahljorn won the popularity contestkahljorn won the popularity contestkahljorn won the popularity contest
Old Jan 4th, 2007, 06:37 PM       
I don't know I have the feeling Hilary Clinton might already be post-menopause. Not that it's any better.
__________________
NEVER
Reply With Quote
  #14  
theapportioner theapportioner is offline
Mocker
theapportioner's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
theapportioner is probably a spambot
Old Jan 8th, 2007, 11:18 PM       
Britney will die after ODing on something. That's it.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
DehydratedPorkMan DehydratedPorkMan is offline
Out of his element.
DehydratedPorkMan's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Exit 9
DehydratedPorkMan is probably a spambot
Old Jan 8th, 2007, 11:36 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by theapportioner
Britney will die after ODing on something. That's it.
Or she'll date 5 black men named Mohammed.
__________________

"At that moment an unending stream of traffic crossed over the bridge."
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:53 AM.


© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.