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  #1  
Drunkenbrigade Drunkenbrigade is offline
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Old Apr 1st, 2005, 06:19 PM        Mario causes MURDER!!!
Mario blamed for teen's turtle-toppling rampage

Anti-game attorney Fred Johnson calls reptile deaths "avoidable" and holds Nintendo and its "pernicious plumber" responsible.

On Wednesday, tragedy struck Las Tortugas de Jesus, a sea turtle sanctuary in Akumal, Mexico, just south of Cancun. A vacationing 16-year-old teen entered the endangered terrapins' safe haven and began jumping on top of the nesting reptiles with both feet. 34 turtles were killed in the rampage, and 15 more were wounded. The perpetrator was uninjured.



"It was horrible," recalled witness Bruce Worthington. "I brought my family all the way from Wichita to see the loggerheads nest, as well as have a few strawberry margaritas. Everything was going fine. It was a serene scene. Then, out of nowhere, some kid entered the nesting area and began violently jumping on the turtles' heads."

The teenager, whose name is being withheld, admitted to local authorities that he was reenacting a scene from the game Super Mario Bros. In the Nintendo video game, an Italian plumber named Mario jumps on turtles, killing them, and then uses their carapaces as weapons.

"Life is like a video game," the teenager reportedly said before being dragged away by local police. "If I hadn't jumped on those turtles, they would've sprouted wings and could've kidnapped the princess. What then, huh? HUH?!"

"This must stop!" decreed crusading anti-game attorney Fred Johnson, who has long been a critic of the industry, saying multimillion-selling games such as Grand Theft Auto should be banned for causing violent behavior in a half-dozen teenagers. "Those creatures out there weren't just turtles. They were mothers. They were fathers, sisters, and brothers. How do you explain to their families what happened? That blood is on Nintendo's hands."

"He's a good boy," said the teenager's father, who declined to give his name. "He's active in school sports and made the honor roll last semester. I don't know what happened. Maybe we should have let him bring his Game Boy on vacation."

Officials from the local US consulate were also on hand to survey the carnage. "I've never seen anyone take out so many opponents so efficiently," consulate official John Sommerhalder said. "It's like he was trained. I haven't seen anything like this since Honduras in '85."

Brian Sanderson, a representative for Nintendo of America, said, "We at Nintendo would like to express our grief and condolences to the next of kin of the turtles lost in the tragedy. In no way do we condone the behavior exhibited by this young man. Nintendo's products are meant to be family-oriented entertainment."
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  #2  
executioneer executioneer is offline
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Old Apr 1st, 2005, 06:21 PM       
what day is today again i forgert
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[COLOR=purple][COLOR=Magenta]SHAME ON A [COLOR=Pink]NIGGA WHO TRY TO RUN [/COLOR][URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGI6mhfJyA"]GAME[/URL] ON A NIGGA[/COLOR]
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  #3  
PYLON PYLON is offline
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Old Apr 1st, 2005, 06:29 PM       
what dumbfucks, when will people stop blaming other shit on their stupid shit, its fuckin tarded.
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pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Apr 1st, 2005, 06:39 PM       
Read the post above yours one more time.
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  #5  
thebiggameover thebiggameover is offline
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Old Apr 1st, 2005, 08:55 PM       
PYLON
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LOL BACON FOOD FATASS
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The same reason I don't hit kids, i'm not 100% sure thier mine.
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  #6  
Marine Marine is offline
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Old Apr 2nd, 2005, 03:07 AM        Re: Mario causes MURDER!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drunkenbrigade
Mario blamed for teen's turtle-toppling rampage

Anti-game attorney Fred Johnson calls reptile deaths "avoidable" and holds Nintendo and its "pernicious plumber" responsible.

On Wednesday, tragedy struck Las Tortugas de Jesus, a sea turtle sanctuary in Akumal, Mexico, just south of Cancun. A vacationing 16-year-old teen entered the endangered terrapins' safe haven and began jumping on top of the nesting reptiles with both feet. 34 turtles were killed in the rampage, and 15 more were wounded. The perpetrator was uninjured.



["Life is like a video game," the teenager reportedly said before being dragged away by local police. "If I hadn't jumped on those turtles, they would've sprouted wings and could've kidnapped the princess. What then, huh? HUH?!"

Officials from the local US consulate were also on hand to survey the carnage. "I've never seen anyone take out so many opponents so efficiently," consulate official John Sommerhalder said. "It's like he was trained. I haven't seen anything like this since Honduras in '85." "

this reminds me of the blackouts i have sometimes.
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  #7  
executioneer executioneer is offline
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Old Apr 2nd, 2005, 03:21 AM       
ok, youre "REALLY CRAZY", we get it already jesus
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  #8  
Matt Harty Matt Harty is offline
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Old Apr 2nd, 2005, 03:23 PM       
what is this some kinda joke
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  #9  
MEATMAN MEATMAN is offline
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Old Apr 2nd, 2005, 04:47 PM       
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Originally Posted by Matt Harty
what is this some kinda joke
It has to be. Nobody could be so stup...

Whoop. I almost walked right into that one.
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  #10  
Sam Sam is offline
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Old Apr 2nd, 2005, 06:42 PM       
MEATMAN I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO CHANGE YOUR TITLE BECAUSE THAT IS MY TITLE I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE RIPPING ME OFF i MIGHT SUE YOU HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT OKAY NOW I AM DEMANDING YOU CHANGE IT OR ELSE
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  #11  
hix1122 hix1122 is offline
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Old Apr 2nd, 2005, 10:22 PM       
I don't buy that! there's no way a sea turtle could be killed by jumping on them, they have shells for gods sake! and have you ever seen a sea turtle? Theyr friggin huge!
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  #12  
Chojin Chojin is offline
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Old Apr 2nd, 2005, 10:44 PM       
hix1122 is nobody's fool!
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  #13  
adept_ninja adept_ninja is offline
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Old Apr 2nd, 2005, 11:43 PM       
Im calling it bullshit for one reason
Quote:
"I brought my family all the way from Wichita to see the loggerheads nest, as well as have a few strawberry margaritas. Everything was going fine. It was a serene scene. Then, out of nowhere, some kid entered the nesting area and began violently jumping on the turtles' heads."
no one takes their family to Mexico to just see some damn turtles
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  #14  
executioneer executioneer is offline
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Old Apr 2nd, 2005, 11:58 PM       
the reason i call bullshit on it is because it was POSTED on APRIL FUCKING FOOLS DAY
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  #15  
Marine Marine is offline
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Old Apr 3rd, 2005, 06:01 AM       
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Originally Posted by executioneer
ok, youre "REALLY CRAZY", we get it already jesus
hyaa hahha ha ha *cackle haa haa ha haa hhahahahahahahahaha
he he he he.
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  #16  
Rez Rez is offline
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Old Apr 22nd, 2005, 04:40 PM       
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Originally Posted by thebiggameover
PYLON
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