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MockBot MockBot is offline
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 03:12 AM        The Santa/Jesus Variations
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Purple Man Purple Man is offline
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 03:33 AM       
Number 9 FTW.
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homor homor is offline
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 09:56 AM       
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wobzire wobzire is offline
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 10:09 AM       
Thank you Max that was all I wanted for christmas. Hahaha. Seriously that was funny. Never stop.
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Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 10:13 AM       
Ha Ha! Nice one Max.
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chemquat chemquat is offline
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 10:30 AM       
i love how mr. burbank combines "hilarious" and "depressing" into such wonderful pieces!
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Mental Pooperscooper Mental Pooperscooper is offline
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 12:01 PM       
IX-if Santa is Luke than is the Easter Bunny the Emporer?
In any case V is easily my favorite
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squirrel_dave squirrel_dave is offline
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 12:16 PM       
Personally I don't think this article is meant to be funny - I think it elicits a great deal of pathos, in particular the variations containing dialogue between Jesus and Santa. It also reminds us of what a good writer Mr. Burbank is, and makes me glad to have him back and writing articles. Excellent use of Roman numerals too!
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Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
after enough bourbon ...
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 01:39 PM       
I agree, it's good to have Max back, writing articles again. And I respectfully disagree, this piece is meant to be funny. Gary Busey thinks so, at any rate.
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Protoclown Protoclown is offline
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 02:49 PM       
That was beautiful.
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Kitsunexus Kitsunexus is offline
Turrican't. :(
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 03:20 PM       
Haha, that was a kickass read!:3
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greenimp greenimp is offline
grants but one wish
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Old Dec 19th, 2008, 07:31 PM       
very dark humor, i love it!
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El Sammo El Sammo is offline
Can't touch this
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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 12:09 AM       
Max, darling, you make me weep. On the philosophy of Max's little article...
It's not really funny. If you laugh at it, you're kind of messed up. The biting, dark truths that Max reveals with each platinum piece of prose are too bright for many human minds to see. We blink and shudder away from such thoughts. Is head trauma that funny?
Laugh damnit you broken little fool, it IS that funny!

sorry, overboard
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Tetsu Deinonychus Tetsu Deinonychus is offline
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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 12:17 AM       
Once again a wonderful blend of dark humor and artistic surrealism.

Max, you are a true master!

BTW, I will totally paint that crucified Berger Meister Meister Berger painting!
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HeroliciousDeBlanc HeroliciousDeBlanc is offline
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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 03:44 AM       
David Mamet is the worst playwright I've ever read (by force, as well in English class). Just throwing that out there.
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Mockery Mockery is offline
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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 08:00 AM       
This is seriously the best thing I've read in a while and one hell of a fine Christmas gift, Max.
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Doctor_Who Doctor_Who is offline
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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 11:41 AM       
Awesome in every imaginable way.
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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 03:44 PM       
wow max. you are so talented. seriously
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MrWarranty MrWarranty is offline
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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 05:59 PM       
What in the (you are going to) hell.
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LittleDollClaudia LittleDollClaudia is offline
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Old Dec 20th, 2008, 10:44 PM       
Ah, Gary Busey. That man is a flippin' train wreck. Who knew he could be so funny, at least in this?

I do believe in the spirit..of commercialism.
www.darkestjack.com-"Showcasing the best in Dark Alternative Entertainment"

~zydrate comes in a little glass vial..~Graverobber, Repo! The Genetic Opera
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Pretzel Pretzel is offline
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Old Dec 22nd, 2008, 06:22 AM       
Very nice article, Max. I enjoyed it a lot, thank you.
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mburbank mburbank is offline
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Old Dec 22nd, 2008, 11:45 AM       
Hey, Pretz! I pmed and emailed you, I hope you got them. Merry Christmas!
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EchoCharlie EchoCharlie is offline
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Old Dec 22nd, 2008, 08:35 PM       
Great work. I was reading this before going to bed and had a giggle attack suddenly (you know snorted to stifle the laugh)at the memory of the II. variation and blew snot on my sleeping wifes back. Well she was sleeping - then she wasn't...chuckling about that now...
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Lordsalmon Lordsalmon is offline
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Old Dec 30th, 2008, 05:22 PM       
Dear Mr. Burbank
You are brilliant. Thank you.
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Desert_Screams Desert_Screams is offline
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Old Jan 15th, 2009, 11:41 PM       
Max, damn your brilliant hide, this is easily the best thing you've written on this site, and easily one of the very best essays of the year gone by. Trimming away the wonderfully lunatic fringes-- Gary Busey, the STAR WARS stuff-- there's some profunidity in there.

Yes, profundity. A word that looks wrong no matter how long you look at it. And I look at it a long-assed time, believe you me.

Jesus and Santa in the bar-- although it sounds like the set-up to a joke Henny Youngman might have discarded in the early '70s-- is some great character work and honest-to-Xenu pathos, but the best thing here (IMNSHO) is Santa as the derailing nightclub magician. I don't think we should hope for a Burbank piece that sounds like Mamet; we should wait for something by Mamet, that sounds like Burbank. 'Cos that Burbank fella, he's damned good.
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