|
dipshed
|
 |
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Chicago, Illinois
|
|
Feb 19th, 2007, 01:48 AM
POWER RANKINGS FOR 2007 MOCK WAR: QUALIFIERS
HEY FOLKS! MARK RIDDLES HERE WITH YOUR ESPN GATORADE MOCK WARS 2007 CIRCUIT CITY POWER RANKINGS SPONSORED BY PANASONIC: IDEAS FOR LIFE!
I HAVE TABULATED THE CURRENT SCORES OF THE VOTING AS OF Dufrense TO GIVE YOU IDEA WHO'S IN AND WHO'S OUT OF THE MOCK WARS.
Now the real points system is kept secret, but I am using the patented RIDDLES RATING SYSTEM (RRS) to figure this out.
Here's how it works, it's easy and fun!
1 point for every vote, plus an extra point for for any TOP 3 PLACEMENTS. Simple, easy, effective, sexy, it works!
Please Keep in Mind I Did NOT count WHAT's votes. He is a retard who didn't follow the rules. He isn't going to make it anyway. Faggot.
SO HERE WE GO!
THE FANTASTIC FOUR
1. ESUOHILM - 34 Points: 19 Votes, 15 Top 3's!
Milhouse has really done it this time, appearing on the majority of the ballots and most of the time in the Top 3! He won people over with his stellar work at the Roast of Zelda's Biggest Fan, and is guaranteed a top seed in this years tournament. Bow Wow!
2. CHOJIN - 27 Points: 19 Votes, 8 Top 3's!
The defending champ appeared on just as many ballots but Milhouse won more people over in the top spots. But Chojin looks like a prime competitor this time around, sporting a masculine mustance, he looks to stomp the early competition. Me Yow!
3. KAHLJORN - 26 Points: 17 Votes, 9 Top 3's!
Woah baby! What a surprise! Kahljorn, who was donned "The Pub Lover of the Competition", has come out swinging and has made it amongst the top 3! He even got more Top Votes then Chojin! This may be the greatest achievement by a semi-transexual ever! (Well, that and Dennis Rodman, ESPN!) Cock A Doodle Do!
4. CAPTAIN BUBBA - 24 Points: 17 Votes, 7 Top 3's!
Rounding out the Top 4 is Captain Bubba. He was one of the final four I believe in last year's competition and looks like he will be making a run for it again. This guy really wanted to hurt Zelda'sBiggestFan's feelings. Pwbtbtbtbtbtbtbbtbt! (That's the sound a horse makes with his lips, you know. Okay forget the Pet Sounds!)
THE UP AND COMERS
5. RONGI - 21 Points: 14 Votes, 7 Top 3's!
Hey guys, it's Rongi. You guys remember Rongi right. He was gone for awhile and now he's back! Well he's been back for a while, but a while ago he was gone for a while. You know. He's a funny guy!
6. THE MOCK WARRIOR - 18 Points: 15 Votes, 3 Top 3's!
Who is this guy? Orange Juice Bruce? Seven Force? Probably both! He's really good with making fake Xanga accounts and is on everyone's tounge. That's Bobby Lee in his avatar, in case you didn't know.
7. NATE FLAX - 16 Points: 13 Votes, 3 Top 3's!
This kid can really draw. Generally new to the I-mockery scene, Nate Flax has a nack for drawing himself and other members of I-mockery with a style of his own. I haven't seen better depictions of I-Mockery posters since Jixby Phillips drew that Mike cartoon! Congratulations kid, you are a shoe-in.
8. MAX BURBANK - 14 Points: 12 Votes, 2 Top 3's
Everyone knows this old guy! He's the closest thing to famous on this board! Max Burbank (the original Mock War Champion) is bringing the classics back with his veteran style. NOW NOW, I know Grislygus has the same number of points and top 3's but we are going with senority here! Besides, I think Grisly fits better in the next catergory.
THE UNDERDOGS
9. GRISLYGUS - 14 Points: 12 Votes, 2 Top 3's
See what I mean? Grislygus is fairly new to the boards but has made a great impression on the voters. Can he continue that charm into a Cinderalla like finish? Is he this years SAAD? We will see!
10. FARTIN MOWLER - 13 Points: 11 Votes, 2 Top 3's
Look out Max Burbank, you aren't the only forty-something in the competition. Call Fartin what you will: Pedophile, Stalker, Coot, Terrific Playwright, but Fartin Mowler is here to stay. Get ready for some scripts and maybe some extra. I am very proud of Fartin Mowler.
11. JIXBY PHILLIPS - 11 Points: 9 Votes, 2 Top 3's
Say what you will about his effort in the Qualifiers, it seems Jixby will have just enough votes to scrape into the playoffs. Like the St. Louis Cardinals last year, Jixby isn't about the regular season, he's comes big the playoffs. Give him a shot, and see what happens!
12. WIFFLE BAT - 9 Points: 9 Votes
Wiffle Bat entered late into the competition. But her......uh his......uh it's cute pictures good enough to please the crowd! I though this was Cap'n Crunch, but I guess not!
WE BARELY MADE IT!
13. FATHOM ZERO - 5 Points: 5 Votes
We had another tie here with Fathom and Seth having 5 points each. But since Fathom had 4 other voters vote him in, while Seth had 3 others and just voted himself number 1, I had to give Fathom Zero the benefit of the doubt. Now, did his whole using Kahljorn's avatar scheme pay off? That's a different story.
14. SETHOMAS - 5 Points: 4 Votes 1, Top 3's
We didn't get to see much of Seth in the Qualifiers, but Seth's been around for sometime and did compete last year. Plus, he wrote a fucking book people. Have you, xbxdaniel? No, you probably play fucking videogames all day. Will he get far without pictures? We will see. He's also the closest thing to a Chicago representative in the Mock War so I will be rooting for him. Hey, did someone say xbxdaniel?
15. XBXDANIEL - 2 Points, 2 Votes
This guy is barely hanging in, but it looks like xbxdaniel is going to make it to this year's Mock War. MAYBE. Who knows, I didn't even see any of his posts. I got nothing to say about him! Good Luck, you are going to need it. MAYBE.
16. LENOR - 1 Point, 1 Vote
Woah wait, LENOR? "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" ask Esuohilm from his mighty peak. Well, Milhouse, using the RSS Rating system, Lenor made it by a squeeze. You see, Lenor, Misdemonar, and Arrow X all received 1 vote from someone other then themselves. Lenor originally put herself as number 1 but changed her votes because she was acting like a WHAT. But Noob3 ranked her 6th on his list of Best Qualifiers. Meanwhile, Arrow X was ranked 7th in a vote by Grislygus, and Misdemonar was ranked 9th in Emu's votes. So by ONE RANK, Lenor has made it in the last spot of MOCK WARS 2007, for now. If Cosmo and Terra vote, she's probably a lock.
NOT IN THE TOURNAMENT
Arrow X with 1 vote.
Sorry, dude, we can have only one heel per tournament and it looks like Lenor is going to take it. If only your name was Sports you could of made it.
Misdemonar with 1 vote.
Being blacklisted before the competition didn't help this guy! Also, not being funny didn't help him either.
WHAT with 0 votes.
Now, WHAT will argue "BUT I VOTED FOR MYSELF FIRST, I SHOULD GET THE LAST PART". But first of all, retard, you voted incorrectly. Second, voting for yourself in a tiebreaker doesn't mean shit in the RSS and it shouldn't in the Official system either. You are a fucking creep and probably the WORST of the competitors. Enjoy your BIGGEST LOSER trophy of a donkey's ass shitting into your mouth.
TheBigGameOver with 0 votes.
IF SCREENAMES ARE ART AND ART IMITATES LIFE THEN THIS WOULD BE A PRIME EXAMPLE FOR THIS GUY. Oh BigGameOver, not even yourself thought you did a good job. In fact you got less votes then ME and HOBO RENEE! Who aren't even in the competition! Game over, man, it's so game over.
PROJECTED MATCHUPS (Home teams in CAPS)
1. ESUOHILM VS 16. Lenor
Oh god, would this be a great matchup or what! Please absentee voters, make this happen, but don't vote for her too much so that she faces a lower seed. You may have to vote for xbxdaniel to even this shit out.
2. CHOJIN VS. 15. Xbxdaniel
If this kid really did enough to be here, we'll see it when he goes up against Kid Godstone over there. I expect nothing less of a one-sided slaughter, but who knows.
3. KAHLJORN VS. 14. Sethomas
Like a Philosphy Board battle, too smarties will go head to head! Some people will enjoy this, but to be honest, if there are 0 pictures I might just take a nap during this one.
4. CAPTAIN BUBBA VS. 13. Fathom Zero
One a giant, one a child, but they both have FEELINGS as you would know if you read a Loveline thread. Prepare for Captain Bubba to disect Fathom Zero's home life. This one could be pretty sad  See? It made me use a sad emotioncon.
5. RONGI VS. 12. Wiffle Bat
If anything, this matchup is going to be W-E-I-R-D. Will Rongi reveal Wiffle Bat's true idenity? Will Wiffle Bat call Rongi John Sasone? That would be sick, dude, wicked sick!
6. THE MOCK WARRIOR VS. 11. Jixby Phillips
Now this is a matchup. We got the mysterious Mock Warrior against resident goofball Jixby Phillips! Will Mock Warrior be exposed as just a one time fad OR will he manage to take down Jixby. This is the FIGHT TO SEE for the first round (besides Esuohilm Vs. Lenor).
7. NATE FLAX VS. 10. Fartin Mowler
Oh man, this ones a good one too. How is Fartin Mowler going to make a script out of someone he doesn't really know. Will he use the kids? What does Mowler look like when Nate Flax draws him. Oh man it SOUNDS FUNNY TO ME! Someone please send Nate some pictures of Fartin so he can start doodling. Awesome!
8. MAX BURBANK Vs. 9. Grislygus
Like I said earlier, Grislygus seems like the dark horse of this competition like Scru2wice was last year. If I remember correctly, Saad had to go through Max to make it where he was that day. But got smited by Chojin in the Semis. Can lighting strike twice, or will Max not let it happen again.
These matches look very exciting!
AND NOW FOR SOME GAME TIME AWARDS!
MVP: Esuohilm- Personal Favorite Moment: The part in the Roast Itinerary saying that someone was going to be heckled. As if it was planned. Was it Drew Carey? I can't remember!
Honorable Mention: Kahljorn (Did alot more with alot less!)
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Nate Flax- That guy has the art skills to draw up a masterpeice of a peformance. I have really run out of Sports Clichés ages ago.
Honorable Mention: Grislygus (Who IS this guy?)
BIGGEST DISSAPOINTMENT: The No-Show of Evil Robot. Evil Robot was one of the more promising contenders in this game! But it looks like his Bong Troubles got the best of him. Expect a death notice by Crimson Ghost within the month.
Honorable Mention: Jixby's Qualifier Performance (We just got high expectations for you pal!)
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS. THE RATINGS HAS OF FEBURARY 19th. BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, THING MIGHT OF CHANGED. ALOT OF VETERAN'S HAVEN'T VOTED YET! AND WHILE MAX BURBANK AND SETHTHOMAS MAY GO UP A FEW AND MAYBE SOME PEOPLE WILL SYMPATHIZE WITH ARROW X AND KNOCK XBXDANIELL OR LENOR OUT, THESE WILL MOST LIKELY BE YOUR WINNERS. LET THE GAME BEGIN! THE RIDDLES RATING SYSTEM RARELY FAILS. BECAUSE I'M SMART!
| |
__________________
| |
|
|
*My homo color is purple*
Linear Mode
