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  #276  
Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 11:46 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Microshock View Post
I know you all want to suck my dicks, just make a line and i'll address you appropriately, no skipping.
You have more then one?


On a related note, my box came yesterday, but my GF has the camera so I will be waiting till Thursday evening or Friday to post pics because that's the next time I will see her. I refuse to even open said box until the pictures are being taken because I would like to get more real reactions. Also I wanted to do it in story form and I will need her help on that too as she is admittedly better than me at picture taking

Also Batman, I was going to do a "need a festive shirt" costume change gag and you beat me to it damn you I probably still will, but now I need to give you credit lest I look like a ripoff artist :P
  #277  
stonewar stonewar is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 12:05 PM       
Due to the rampant immaturity shall we be paired by mental age next year?
  #279  
BatmanJohnson BatmanJohnson is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 02:19 PM       
Lol I thought the shirt would be a nice touch. That and I had to show off my new Krampus shirt!
  #280  
stevetothepast stevetothepast is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 03:16 PM       
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Originally Posted by Microshock View Post
Also, if I really did single handedly stop all those people from joining the secret santa this year, then good, ill add it to my book of achievements.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zomboid View Post
Don't you mean trophies, you rabid fanboy?

hehehe
  #281  
poppers620 poppers620 is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 03:21 PM       
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Originally Posted by Tadao View Post
Hey Poppers, I'm sorry you had a family emergency. Thank you for posting as soon as you could. You are a shining example of consideration. I applaud you.
thanks
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  #282  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 06:40 PM       
Just got back from the post office and got my secret santa package from Kakumei

There's a lot o pics
Spoilers!




Happy holidays everyone. Just for the record if anyone is counting thats two secret santas I was able to post records of. Bah Humbug Mircroshock.
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  #283  
Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 06:43 PM       
That's awesome!
  #284  
kakumei kakumei is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 09:47 PM       
i'm glad you liked your present, 10,000 volt ghost-- it's super exciting that the blind simpsons toy ended up being zombie bart. that is still totally on the zombie theme. sorry about the super lame packing material-- it's actually 3/4 of a chicago map that i carry around in my purse. i was going to grab a newspaper from outside, but i was already in line at the post office, and i didn't want to lose my spot. unfortunately, it wasn't quite enough packaging to keep the t-rex from jostling about-- it kept roaring while i was taping the box up. i guess t-rex hates traveling, but really who can blame him?

anyway, my secret santa was 10,000 volt ghost, amusingly enough. to get into the holiday mood, i put on my christmas socks and poured myself a glass of egg nog before opening my present.



say what?! how did he know that i wear t-shirts? it's a little big on me, but i can totally wear it as a dress around my apartment.



a copy of "the life aquatic" on DVD and "invisible monsters" by chuck palahniuk! i had to keep an eye on the invisible monsters, lest they run off while i wasn't looking.

wrapped up inside the domo shirt was probably the best part of the present. at first, i thought it was a human head, but then i discovered that it was even better than that...



a WTF snowglobe! the real WTF moment came though when i looked at the underside of the snowglobe:



it's from urban outfitters! somehow, i have a hard time believing that the type of people who frequent i-mockery would also frequent urban outfitters. not that we're not all super fashion savvy...
of course, as soon as i unpacked the snowglobe, my cat (waffle) decided it was hers and promptly rubbed her face on it before curling up around it and falling asleep, purring.

so thanks, 10,000 volt ghost-- this has been an awesome event, and i can't wait until next year's secret santa!
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  #285  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 10:04 PM       
I pulled an M Night Shylaman twist. I'm glad you liked them. I made a video of the T-Rex but it didn't transfer over to my pc so great.
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  #286  
kakumei kakumei is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 10:30 PM       
aww, sad day! admittedly, the t-rex came from a dollar store (i was looking for some kind of filler items, but in the end it was the only thing that i purchased from a dollar store), but light up eyes and roaring action? who could resist?
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  #287  
MarioRPG MarioRPG is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 10:33 PM       
That t-shirt is amazing. I think I'll pick one up myself after Christmas.

PS Pichas tomorrow.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU PUNY LITTLE BASTARD. I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE A MAN OUT OF YA, OBVIOUSLY, BUT COME BY ANY TIME AND I'LL WHIP YOUR SUPPLE LITTLE GIRL BODY INTO A SHAPE

LOVE, YOUR FIJIAN HOST DAD
  #288  
BatmanJohnson BatmanJohnson is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 10:38 PM       
Invisible Monsters is an incredible book. Awesome Presents, Ghost is a good gift giver.
  #289  
Nick Nick is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 11:09 PM       
I find Microshock's behavior horrible. I couldn't wait to show off my gifts, they were great, but he is just being plain rude to not post pictures of whatever awesome gifts captain gave him.
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  #290  
BatmanJohnson BatmanJohnson is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 11:30 PM       
From reading past Secret Santa threads, I'm frankly not surprised. This seems to be common for him.
  #291  
kakumei kakumei is offline
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Old Dec 15th, 2009, 11:43 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by BatmanJohnson View Post
Invisible Monsters is an incredible book. Awesome Presents, Ghost is a good gift giver.
agreed. by the way, your story to accompany your photos was totally awesome-- i'm sad i couldn't come up with anything nearly as awesome.
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  #292  
BatmanJohnson BatmanJohnson is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2009, 12:11 AM       
I made the story up as I went along. I had fun with it.
  #293  
dextire dextire is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2009, 12:48 AM       
Sorry for the delay on the self imposed deadline for posting pictures. I was planning on just doing pictures, no story. Then when I read the Secret Santa letter from MarioRPG, I enjoyed it immensely, and then something just clicked. So, I decided to do a story based on it. And a lot more work later, it's finally done. I'll be playing the role of the douche millionaire Baxter Remington (minus the millionaire part and change the name to Dextire).

Enjoy!

"How I Became An Official I-Mockery Forum Member™"
by dextire

Merry Christmas! I got a package from MarioRPG!


And he sent it all the way from Merry Ole London, Canada!
I wonder if it'll be fish and chips? Or maybe bangers and mash? Ho Ho Ho.
Let's open it and see!



Oh look, there's a 3-page letter!
Let's take a gander.

“Dextire,
Firstly, I must express what a Grade-A JERK you are.”


Grade-A, huh? Can't do better than that, baby.

“I mean, you join up from outta nowhere and just DEMAND gifts.
So, here I am, stuck with someone that I can not possibly think of a gift for.”


You know, you're not sounding very British.
Blimey! Get with the program, Govnuh!

“And THEN... you buy Stonewar a boat-load of gifts.”


Well... maybe a very small boat, like a model or something.
What's your point?

“So the wheels in my head start turning.
I think I can shape you into a bonafide I-Mockery Forum Member™
that will be universally LOVED!”



Yes! Shape me, wise master!
I am new, and know not the ways of the old I-Mockery Forum vets.
Teach me your wise old, dusty, funky smelling ways.

“But how can I do that?”


I have no idea! I've never taught anything.
I mean, unless you count that one time I taught a squirrel how to eat a walnut,
but my mom said it already knew how to do that.


Besides, you said that YOU would “shape” ME, like you knew what you were talking about!

So, how are you going to do that, guy who is not sounding very much like he's from London?

“With gifts (of $25 value) of course!”


Of course! Free gifts for me!
Teach me old wise one, who smells vaguely of cheese, and Bengay.

“So there are some things you gotta know: Movies.

Horrific Movies. So I went out and got you some to help you on your way.
Don't wet yourself in Fright!”


I've already wet myself several times just looking at that cover,
so I should be good to go.


“Next up, everyone needs to own something that's been on I-Mockery,
and I ain't talkin' no Pickle Hat, either. So BAM!
Second gift right there. Another cinema classic.”



I now feel as tough as 1986 would allow me to be.

“Oh, and we all f*ckin Love Christmas, so it's a good thing you didn't mess up.”


So... you're saying I didn't mess up?
Wait, it's not Christmas yet. There's still time!

“And BAM! Third gift: Christmas Lovin'.
I took a few peeks at that one, and I'm pretty confident it'll be solid gold.”


No kidding! The guy in the story's name is Baxter Remington.
BAXTER REMINGTON. Best douche millionaire name EVER!


“And another thing, we're pretty much from all over the World. I see you're from the 'states.
That means I can get you something distinctly Canadian!”

Beer?

“Then you can go on bragging that you are not racist / sexist / country-ist
because you've got a pal up in the Great White North.
Oh, and the gift isn't beer, you racist.”



Really... I'm the racist, mister pretending that you're from London?
I think not.



Wow! That's definitely not beer.


That's the good stuff!


Smooth.

“Anyhoo, I'm gonna sign-off here. If I give you any other gifts they are bonuses.”

Look, I know you're rich and all, but calling the bubble wrap a “bonus” is just mean.
That was the majority of the gifts I gave to Stonewar.
And she said she liked them!

Meanie.

“Merry Christmas,
MarioRPG

P.S. We won't HATE you if you disappear after the Secret Santa.”

Disappear? That's silly, why would I... wait.
What was in that syrup?!

Oh, crap.

So, if I've read your letter correctly, and I think I have,
after all I'm well read in all the latest fine literature.


Baxter Remington. So awesome.

In order for me to be a proper I-Mockery Forum Member™: I have to be a racist / sexist / country-ist jerk.
Who regularly wets himself (on purpose, not out of fright). A raging alcoholic, fueled completely on syrup.
And be completely obsessed with 80s cinema, toys, and of course, Baxter Remington.



Got it.

The End.


Thank you so much, MarioRPG! My gifts are awesome!
I laughed for a solid 5 minutes when I saw that book.
And I had to explain it to my friends and family, since I opened it on my birthday.

Hope you guys liked the story.
It was a ton of fun for me to put together.

Merry Christmas, everybody!
  #294  
Ozzie Ozzie is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2009, 01:03 AM       
Holy hell, I think I missed a golden opportunity not sending poppers a romance novel along with the horror flicks. Looks like Dextire isn't the only person MarioRPG needs to shape around here.
  #296  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2009, 02:48 AM       
Dextire, you're allllll right.
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  #297  
Zhukov Zhukov is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2009, 03:08 AM       
That was awesome.
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  #298  
Mockery Mockery is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2009, 10:17 AM       
Excellent! You even put a match in your mouth for the Cobra shot. Gotta love attention to detail like that...

You guys really are doing a great job with the Secret Santa event this year! Great gifts and recaps so far!
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  #299  
stonewar stonewar is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2009, 10:18 AM       
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Originally Posted by Pentegarn View Post
We all are mentally 3 anyway, so we already were
excuse me. I'm 8 at the very least
  #300  
dextire dextire is offline
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Old Dec 16th, 2009, 10:36 AM       
Thanks, guys! It was really fun to ham it up.
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