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  #31901  
Pub Lover Pub Lover is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 12:09 AM       
Paris Hilton can not be mentioned in here until she dies, I think.
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  #31902  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 12:13 AM       
Can i rap? about Jerry Seinfeld?
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  #31903  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 12:15 AM       
Yes, until he dies & then he MUST NEVER BE SPOKEN OF AGAIN!
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  #31904  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 12:21 AM       
ok... agreed. a bit of prelude however...

One time a couple of years ago, a friend invited me to a
comedy club. i had the day off, and my friend offered to buy
the ticket... i had some laundry to do, but after being told
that Jerry Seinfeld was going to be there i said, " what
laundry?". i mean, i really liked the series he did but
never saw him live so i was intrigued.
we get to the club way early. we sit and have a couple
drinks. then i have a couple more. then 5 more after that.
by the time Jerry comes on, i'm plowed and obnoxious.
so, jerry goes into his routine and... it was good stuff,
but i was heckling BAD! finishing the jokes, screaming
punchlines, yelling "YOU SUCKKKKK!!!". jerry's face is
fastly growing beet red!
finally, after 20 minutes, he screams "You think you can
do this?!? Step up here!" i yell "FUCK YOU!!!! you couldn't
joke yer way out of a paper bag!"

Jerry goes nuts and threatens to fight me.... i say
"violence is for dumbass dickheads with no balls... you
wanna go against me? YOU GOTTA RAP BATTLE!!!!"
and that's what happened... jerry did do a smashing job...
but he only yelled Run DMC, Public Enemy, and some old NWA.
impressive, but not enough
.
i slapped the mic out of his hand and bellowed,
"HEYYYYYYYYYYYY_OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! RAP! RAP! (and points to
self) CRAP! CRAP! (points to Jerry)RAP! RAP! CRAP! CRAP!
RAP! RAP! CRAP! CRAP! RAP! RAP! CRAP! CRAP! RAP! RAP! CRAP!
CRAP!

Stooge! you spooge!
When ya see a donkey... you stupid honkey!
Hee-Haw is too smart for you!
Yeah, raise that fist, whatcha gonna do?
You want some crowbar? i got my Kevlar!
Could call you bitch but that's too good!
Smack you in the nuts with a piece of wood!
Jump! Jump! Hear that skull break!
Cherry Jerry don't own this place!
Foot in yo' ass, a piece of glass,
Make yo' existance a thing of the past!
Punch yo'throat and break that nose!
Beat yo' corpse with a rubber hose!
Draw a moustache on rotten body!
WITH MY BRAND NEW, SHIT-BROWN SHARPIE!!!
Kick on back, drink juice and gin!
Resurrect you and do it again!
Pull out dick and put it back in!
No, i'm not gonna fuck you, friend!
Yell and yell and slap the moon!
Then go home and watch cartoons!
Scooby-Doo and SuperFriends!
Then i kick yo'nuts again!
Whine and piss, complain to Kramer!
Could yo' rap be any lamer?
Rub that bruise on yo' nuts!
Break a foot off in yo' butt!
Throwing down with my skill verbal!
WHAT ELSE YOU THINK RHYME WITH PURPLE?
I see you sulking, my dad from Vulcan
And i drive Millenium Falcon!
Yeah, that's right, i do the Mindmeld!
Whatcha gonna do now, Jerry Seinfeld?

skhoozen
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  #31905  
Pub Lover Pub Lover is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 12:29 AM       
GW taught me a bit of slang that would apply to JS's rap post, but I'm not going to use it as I think it's something from 4chan.
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  #31906  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 12:31 AM       
I wrote it a couple of years ago, when i thought rap was all about violence.
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  #31907  
Pub Lover Pub Lover is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 12:36 AM       
I have never written anything I've considered worth remembering for more than a month. :talent
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  #31908  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 12:43 AM       
Paris Hilton
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  #31909  
JediScum JediScum is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 12:44 AM       
write it down... an old friend and i used to carry notebooks around all the time. when he and i would get together, it was crazy babble improv fest, but we'd be in a coffee house/bar being loud, talking crazy, then yelling at each other "WRITE THAT DOWN!"

If you don't, the good stuff fades away from memory
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  #31910  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 12:45 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tadao View Post
Paris Hilton
Funny, keep it up. That was like the only thing I said since you last posted.
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  #31911  
Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 12:53 AM       
Zomboid has been warned not to follow gw around, but this time it was gw who started things. End of story. The next person who mentions this, whether it be zomboid, gw, or anyone else just commenting on the situation, gets a day off from the boards.

I'll going to leave these bickering posts in the thread for a few hours, but then I'm moving them to Pub's Bottomless Chat thread.


Now then, how that game No More Heroes?
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  #31912  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:12 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pub Lover View Post
GW taught me a bit of slang that would apply to JS's rap post, but I'm not going to use it as I think it's something from 4chan.
what
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  #31913  
Guitar Woman Guitar Woman is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:17 AM       
when have I been INSTRUCTING you in internet slang, mister
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  #31914  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:18 AM       
ALL NIGHT LONG, BABY!

TL;DR
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  #31915  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:19 AM       
HOLY SHIT! TADAO WAS RIGHT, PARIS HILTON JUST DIED!

Next up on my death list: Madonna.
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  #31916  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:22 AM       
Don't tease.
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  #31917  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:23 AM       
No, but SERIOUSLY!
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  #31918  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:27 AM       
Asteroid still hasn't killed us.
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  #31919  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:30 AM       
With 0.0% chance of impact?

SURPRISE!


Hey Florida, I hope you're all voting for Giuliani. ;(
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  #31920  
Sacks Sacks is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:30 AM       
Gjurd Solveig
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  #31921  
Sacks Sacks is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:33 AM       
Billiam Bodecker
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  #31922  
executioneer executioneer is offline
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:47 AM       
don't blame me, i voted for ray q smuckles
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[COLOR=purple][COLOR=Magenta]SHAME ON A [COLOR=Pink]NIGGA WHO TRY TO RUN [/COLOR][URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGI6mhfJyA"]GAME[/URL] ON A NIGGA[/COLOR]
[/COLOR]
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  #31923  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 01:51 AM       
My mental map of the US must be upside down & backwards.
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  #31924  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 02:08 AM       
i do not understand
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[/COLOR]
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  #31925  
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Old Jan 29th, 2008, 02:14 AM       
I didn't think you could live further from Florida without living next door to me.
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