I'm giving up veggies! Yes, that's right kids! You heard me! At long last I've come to my senses, and I'm finally giving up those pesky vegetables completely. Just in time for the Thanksgiving holiday too! I've always considered myself a fairly good person, though I've never been all "high and mighty" about my morals or anything. So the plight of the vegetables (and fruits!) never really bothered me for years. But I've finally seen too much. I can stomach this horrible oppressive abuse no longer and hold on to any hope of bearing the sight of my image in the mirror. 

No more will I feel the need to shed a tear going up and down the produce aisle of the grocery store, knowing that I was somehow responsible for having a hand in all this grisly chopped death neatly organized before me. I will not hear their imagined cries of pain as I bite into them. Never again! I will not envision all the days that were stolen from them when they were brutally unearthed, the glorious tall green sprouty things they COULD have become. I wash my hands of all of this, right here, right now. And you should too. 

I did a little bit of research into vegetable (and fruit) preparation, and I was disgusted by what I learned. I will share with you a slight bit of what I've discovered, but I must warn you that some of these details are far more gruesome than I bargained for. That having been said, I will now take you on a disturbing tour of...

Vegetable Preparation: What They Didn't Want You to Know!!!! 

• First off, instead of allowing vegetables to run free, vegetable farmers effectively fuse the vegetables into the very earth itself, rendering them immobile and helpless. There they continue to suffer the scourge of the elements. I assure you they are SMART enough to get out of the rain...they simply can't! 
  
  

• When it's "Pickin' Time" the farmers carelessly yank the vegetables from the soil (mangling their lower extremities beyond recognition) and throw them into a dirty cart, filled to the brim with their wounded green brethren. 
  
  

• The farmers then take the vegetables to the processing plant, where they undergo the SATANIC SEX RITUALS, violating and molesting the vegetables in various horrific ways. You may have noticed that some vegetables and fruits have shapes that are somewhat... erotic. Not to mention conducive to pleasure. I mean, I haven't noticed, but you fucking sickos probably have. 
  
  

• After being PROCESSED (a procedure far too horrible to describe), they are delivered to the grocery store and placed into separate, segregated bins, where they will await sale. Their old lives forgotten, they are mere property now, to be bought and sold at whim. 
  
  

• Occasionally, when the rotting vegetables start to show signs of all the horrid abuse, the "produce boy" will come and spray them down with stinging, burning chemicals that they can even feel IN DEATH. 
  

That's only a small sample of the abhorrent practices and procedures these vegetables and fruits undergo on their way from birth to your murderous malefic mouth. And these hardly do justice to the amount of pain and suffering they endure. So I've put together a small series of pictures to help illustrate just how appalling these practices are.

I call it: A GALLERY OF PAIN. 



Here we see some fruit (cousin to the vegetables, and just as abused) that have been bruised. Red splotchy bruises like that don't come without a measure of painful abuse. 

 

Even in death, the segregation of vegetables continues. All steps are taken to ensure that the mingling of vegetable races does not take place. 



Fruits and vegetables that don't make the cut often GET cut. Here are some "bad apples" awaiting the guillotine treatment. 



This is perhaps the most disturbing image of all...this "graveyard of the damned". Never have I seen so much carnage. There'll be no proper burial for these guys. Just another mass grave reminiscent of the Holocaust.

As you can see, fruits and vegetables do NOT have an easy life, and I certainly can't feel good about eating them any longer. That's why I've decided to stick to an ALL-MEAT diet from now on. When I bite into a nice big beefy hamburger or a succulent juicy steak, I know that my conscience will be completely clear of guilt! So put down that cob of corn, you murderific bastard, and go eat an animal today! 

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