“SO... YOU ARE WORTHY AFTER ALL, PUNY MORTAL!”

After beating that game (and I use the term loosely), the Gatekeeper hands you the "Mother Of All Nightmares" box and tells you to "be gone!" Rather than ask questions about who designed a fecal adventure game, you decide it would be best to leave the store immediately.

You arrive home and open the "Mother Of All Nightmares" box, expecting to find something that will guarantee you to have an amazing party. Instead you find a note that reads:

It's obviously a hoax, for there are no explosives in the box anywhere. In fact, there's nothing in the box except for the stupid note. When you flip the note over it reads "Hahaha, sucker! Love - The Gatekeeper" Great, so that asshole made you go through all those trials for absolutely nothing. And there's no way in hell an empty cardboard box is going to create the greatest monster party ever.

"GODDAMNIT! NOW WHAT DO I DO!?!?" you scream. How on earth will you ever pull off a good monster party without the proper supplies? Just then a magical fairy appears before you!

"HI! I'M DA FAIRY!"

"I saw what the mean Gatekeeper man did to you, so I have come to help! I have come to help you with your Halloween Monster Party!" She then wiggles her microscopic nose and your house is instantly transformed into a Halloween haven!

NOW WE'RE COOKIN!

Before you can even thank the fairy for helping you out, she vanishes into thin air. "YES! NOW I AM SET FOR A MONSTER PARTY! I WIN!" Ha, ha... not so fast, Corky. Before you can host the monster party, you're going to need to hire some help. You need to find some sick individuals such as a bouncer (to keep out those who don't dress up), a bartender (to get people drunk so you can steal their wallets), and a clean-up crew (so you don't get stuck picking up after all the slobby bastards).

Now, you don't really have any spare cash to offer these people, so you're just going to to have to find some random people that are willing to help you out in exchange for free drinks and candy. Where oh where are you going to find people like that?

You decide to look for the people at:

• The local homeless shelter.
   
• The local mall.
   
• The local "Putt-Putt" mini golf course.
   
• The local retirement home.