You open the Wild Bill Hickok lunchbox and...

...find yourself sitting at a card table with none other than the legendary Wild Bill Hickok. You can't help but notice that he's pointing a gun at you, which may or may not have something to do with the fact that there's five (count em: five) aces and a lot of money lying in front of you.

"Right, varmint." Wild Bill tells you. "You got until the count of three to come up with a good reason why I shouldn't send your brains squirting out the back of your skull."

You decide to:

• Sing "Down in Africa" by Toto.
   
• Appeal to Wild Bill's latent homosexuality.
   
• Build a bulletproof vest out of pocket lint.
   
• Tell Wild Bill your father once kissed Doc Holliday.

BANG!
(you can't tell from the picture, but you have just been shot)

...too slow, tenderfoot. Bill's gun goes off and robs you of the majority of your face. I guess you left your quick wits in your other pants.

START OVER, TEX!