You open the Space 1999 lunchbox and...

...find yourself staring into the blank, listless moist eyes of…

JAMES LIPTON!!!

It’s dark… so dark! But somewhere out there you can hear heavy mouthbreathing, pens scratching… OH GOD, YOU’RE INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO!!

"In… 1955 you and… Steve McQueen were the only two students accepted into Lee Strassberghs ’Actors Studio’… In 1959 your role in Hitchcock's famous "North by Northwest" gained you… favorable critical notice…

In 1988, you worked with Francis Ford Coppola, in 99… Woody Allen, and in 1994 you won an… Oscar for your portrayal of Bela Lugosi in ‘Ed Wood’"

He’s talking to you! And from what he’s saying you must be Martin Landau!

"But…" Lipton husks, his left eye drifting slowly toward the rim of it’s socket like a dingy in a weak yet persistent current, pausing for so long you begin to fear he’s had a stroke, "It’s the years between ‘55 and ’88 we’re here to… discuss… to… night. Years you gave us… Mission Impossible… Space… 1999…"

No! No! Not the BARBARA BAIN YEARS!!!

"And then we’ll be screening your… epic performance as… the Russian spy… in… ‘The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island"…

NO!!

"and you can take… questions from my…students."

You scream and scream, realizing what Camus said really is true… Hell IS being questioned by James Lipton about the gap in Martin Landua's career that coincides with his marriage to Barbara Bain.

BE GLAD YOUR STARTING OVER, LI’L BUDDY!