You open the Knight Rider lunchbox and...

Hey there, sexy.

...awake in the passenger's seat of Kitt, firmly locked in a kevlar seatbelt. Sitting next to you is David Hasselhoff, naked to within an inch of his skin. Before you can do so much as scream, he starts singing an endless collection of pop songs in German. Much as you try to wriggle out from under the seatbelt, pop your eardrums through sheer force of will or just get a word in, you fail. You are paralyzed, trapped forever in a dimension where the roads are endless, the language of choice is German, and David Hasselhoff never stops singing or being three quarters naked. Enjoy the ride, you poor fool.

START OVER, YOU IDIOT!