You open the Road Runner lunchbox and...

...your shoes are rapidly melting on the hot desert road you are now standing on. You spring off to the side and survey your surroundings. All around you is a strange, cartoon-ish desert, along with the occasional tunnel entrance, although you think a couple of them might just be painted on.

To your left is the anthropomorphic coyote, eagerly reaching into a large wooden "ACME" crate. You walk over to good ol’ Wile E., hoping to ask if he knows about Popeye’s Chicken. When he doesn’t come out of the crate immediately, you clear your throat. He leaps up and spins around to face you.

"Another person? Oh, thank god! You don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve seen another human being in this forsaken desert. Except for that stuck-up ACME delivery guy."

You didn’t realize that the coyote could talk. He has a crazy, feral look in his eye, so you decide that maybe asking him about a place that sells food might be a big mistake. You opt, instead, to ask him about his latest ACME purchase.

"Oh, I’m glad you asked. I’m confident that this will be the one to finally put that hellspawned bird out of my misery. Oh, how I hate him! His very existence mocks me, and all that I have achieved! How can any living creature be so happy with just birdseed to sustain him? I’ve struggled my whole life to be something better than a mere animal, and he taunts me by thwarting my every plan to catch him. Oh, fie this life, oh lord! A pox on that treacherous road runner! Ugh, I need a cigarette."

He turns his back to you and lights up. "Ah, that’s better," you hear him say. As he turns around, you see that the myopic mammal has mistaken a stick of dynamite for a cigarette. An understandable mistake, but before you can correct it, the dynamite explodes, and while it merely blackens Wile E.’s face, you aren’t so lucky. Meep meep, mother fucker.

START OVER, LOONEY TUNE!