You open the NFL lunchbox and...

...you find yourself a field goal kicker in the Super Bowl, the game is down to the wire, and your team is losing by one measly point! There's only 5 seconds left in the game and it's now fourth down. You're only 20 yards from the end zone, so making this kick should be a breeze. The ball is snapped and set up perfectly for you to kick it. You aim up and kick with all your might and...

NO GOOD! NO GOOD!

You missed it! The entire crowd is stunned and they boo you to death. The coach looks really pissed off at you, as does the rest of the team. "Hit the showers..." he tells you.

When you arrive in the shower room, you find a ladder there. You think about using it to hang yourself from the ceiling, but there's no rope available. And even if there was, you wouldn't have time to use it. For soon enough, the rest of the team enters the shower room and they're extremely pissed off at you. You ruined their one chance at winning the Super Bowl and they've come to take out their anger on you. I have to say, I don't know of anybody else in the history of man who has been anally raped with a ladder, but they pulled it off and left you for dead.

START OVER, LADDER-ASS!