You open the Welcome Back Kotter lunchbox and...

…you and you come face to face with a village of children who appear to be obsessed with Vinne Barbarino, from Welcome Back Kotter. Every child is wearing a Vinnie Barbarino outfit and you're started to feel creeped out when their leader walks up to you. She removes her mask and offers you two choices. 1) She can kill you here and now or 2) You can join them in their Barbarino Worship Cult. It's a tough call indeed, but you have to make a decision fast or else she'll make it for you! So you choose...

THE BARBARINO LIFESTYLE!

They stick a cheap Vinnie Barbarino costume on you and quickly melt your brain with their "brain-melty eye powers" so that the only thing you can do is mumble "Baaaaaarbarinoooooo" as you drag your feet aimlessly through the village. If you had the ability to think, I'd bet my left nut that you'd be thinking you should've chosen death instead.

START OVER, SWEATHOG!