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The True Story Behind Darth Tater!
by:
-RoG-

but how far away exactly? :(
 

Sorry folks, Anakin has a drooling problem

Anakin Skytater: "What a strange planet. Actually, it's more like a dump and I... *GASP* WHAT WAS THAT NOISE!? WHO... WHO'S OUT THERE?? SHOW YOURSELF!"

YODA!

Yoda: "Call me you did, yesss."

Anakin Skytater: "Who... who are you?"

Yoda: "Yoda I am. I am Yoda. I do enjoy the works of Abe Vigoda. I am Yoda."

Anakin Skytater: "Ok... I uh, I don't know what I'm really doing here. I just felt drawn to this planet. It's as though I..."

Yoda: "Summoned here you were. Learn you will. Train you will."

HOW INDEED!

Anakin Skytater: "But how? How did you will me to come here?"

Yoda: "The Force, yesss."

Anakin Skytater: "Ok, so what could a tiny wasteland-dwelling goblin like yourself possibly have to tell me?"

Yoda: "Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is."

Anakin Skytater: "I really gotta find my way out of this stinkhole..."

I AM WISE BEYOND MY YEARS. ALL 800+ OF THEM.

Yoda: "Coming from a potato with a obvious drooling problem, in a position to complain you are not."

Anakin Skytater: "Hey!"

Yoda: "Anakin, a choice you will soon have to make. The dark side I sense in you, but too late it is not."

Anakin Skytater: "What exactly do you mean when you say 'the dark side' is in me? Am I sick? It's cancer isn't it. I knew it! All those days hanging out in microwaves... it had to catch up with me."

Yoda: "No, no, no... show you I will. Relax your mind and concentrate."

DARTH TATER IS IN YOUR FUTURE!

Anakin Skytater: "OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT!? IS THAT... IS THAT ME!?!?"

Yoda: "Without proper Jedi training, your future it will be. And the worst of it, that is not."

ASS-STORAGE!

Anakin Skytater: "OH. MY. GOD."

Yoda: "Yes. Your posterior will be hollowed out by the dark side. Within it, the severed appendages of your fellow potatoes will be stored. Yesss."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Anakin Skytater: "NOOOOOOO!!!!"

Yoda: "This is why train you must."

Anakin Skytater: "So if I train to be a Jedi I won't become some twisted S&M freak? Ok, sign me up! I'm ready to begin my Jedi training!"

Yoda: "Very well... you must remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Now, training you will begin. Yesss."

TRAINING!

Anakin Skytater: "Can't you just give me the short version of this training? I want to go on adventures and score a date with a hot potato princess!"

Yoda: "Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless."

Anakin Skytater: "Agh! This is too hard!"

Yoda: "Believe in The Force, guide you it will."

Anakin Skytater: "I can't believe it!"

Yoda: "That is why you fail."

*SMOOOOOOOOCH!*

Yoda: "A hot potato princess you shall not have. But my kisses, have you can, yesss."

Anakin Skytater: "Ack! Ok, ok! I believe in the force, I BELIEVE! Let's continue with the training!"
 

***SEVERAL DAYS LATER***
 

DON'T GET TOO COCKY THERE ANAKIN :O

Yoda: "Ready for your final training you are."

Anakin Skytater: "Alright! Bring it on! I'm ready to become a Jedi!"

Yoda: "In your ship you will go now. Fly until you meet your challenge. Defeat it you must, or forever the dark side will flow within you."

POTATO PILOT POWER!

Anakin Skytater: "Woooo hoooo! I'm gonna be a Jedi! Yeah! Gonna get me a hot potato princess and together we'll make little tater tots! This is gonna be great! Ok, bring on this so-called challenge, I can take it!"

NOOOO! THE WORST ALBUM *EVER!*

Anakin Skytater: "NOOOOOOO!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! THAT'S TORTURE!!! NOT THE STAR WARS CHRISTMAS ALBUM!!! HOW CAN I POSSIBLY DEFEAT AN EVIL THAT IS SO PURE!?!? THERE'S NO WAY! THERE'S JUST NO..."

YOU TELL HIM YODA!

Yoda: "Feel the force."

Anakin Skytater: "Yoda! How can I win?"

Yoda: "Remember your training. Use the force you will."

Anakin Skytater: "Argh, I'll try!"

Yoda: "Do or do not... there is no try."

Anakin Skytater: "Ok... here goes nothing!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Anakin Skytater: "YEAH! I DID IT! WOOO!"

Yoda: "A Jedi you are. Now return back home we will."

Anakin Skytater: "Back to that stinky planet? Ah what the heck, I'm in a good mood, sure I'll go back with ya..."

A JEDI POTATO YOU ARE

Anakin Skytater: "Master Yoda, now that I am a Jedi and no longer need to worry about the dark side, can you tell me what my future will be?"

Yoda: "Continue the path of the Jedi you will. Use the force you will."

Anakin Skytater: "Yeah, yeah, yeah... I get all that. But what else! I wanna know about the exciting stuff! What rewards can I expect for leading such a noble life?"

Yoda: "The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is."

Anakin Skytater: "Come on! You must be able to see something!"

Yoda: "Yes, yes... see I can. Want to know the future, you are sure of this, yes?"

Anakin Skytater: "YES!"

JEDI KNIGHTS ARE TASTY!

Yoda: "Your future this is. Willing to sacrifice everything for the greater good is the Jedi way."

Anakin Skytater: "WHAT!? I'M A PILE OF MUSH! I'M GONNA BE A MEAL!?!?"

Yoda: "Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force, and down into the stomach of a man."

Anakin Skytater: "THE HELL IT DOES! SCREW BEING A JEDI! I'M GOING OVER TO THE DARK SIDE!"

FALLEN TO THE DARK SIDE!

Darth Tater: "NOW I AM THE MASTER! BETTER TO REIGN IN HELL, THAN TO BE SERVED AS A SIDE DISH IN HEAVEN!

WHERE DID YOU GO WRONG YODA?

Yoda: "Blind I am, if his reaction to this news I could not foresee. Stopped he must be; on this all depends. Only a fully-trained Jedi Knight, with the Force as his ally, will conquer Vader. Only one hope there is..."

USE THE FORCE ROG! WE'VE GOT A PLUNGER!

Yoda: "Consume the potatoes you will RoG, then use the force. Use the force... or lost all will be."

-RoG-


STILL HAVEN'T HAD YOUR STAR WARS FILL?

CHECK OUT THE STAR WARS CHRISTMAS ALBUM!


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