Please don't feed PickleMan
Please don't feed PickleMan
About Us Store Advertising Contact New to I-Mockery? Register an account and join in the pickled fun! New to I-Mockery? Register an account and join in the pickled fun!

A Look At The Twisted Future Of Free iPod Banner Ads!

If you browse just about any site that has advertisements running on it to pay the hosting bills (just like this one), chances are you've seen one of those "free" iPod banners. They started out simple enough didn't they? "Click here for a free iPod!" is all they said at first. Then they started trying to engage web surfers with game-like ads such as "Hit a homerun and win a free iPod!", and you would actually have to click on the ad just as the ball nears your baseball bat. Of course, skill isn't a prerequisite for winning these pseudo-games by any means. Fact is, if you can't win the games on the banner ads, you don't belong on the internet. You belong in a coffin.

Now I can understand advertisers wanting intrigue the viewers in order to make them click these advertisements, but I think they're really starting to go too far. Simple sports ads were fine, but now the people behind all of these iPod ads seem to have truly fallen off the deep end. I mean look at this shit:


No, I didn't make that ad. That's an actual advertisement that appeared on this site recently. Can somebody explain to me just what in the hell they were thinking when they made that one? I can see the office meeting now...

Boss: "We need to get people to click on our free iPod ads more! You have any good ideas to bring us new customers?"

Web Designer: "Why yes I do! Ok, now stay with me on this one boss..."

Boss: "I'm listening..."

Web Designer: "Ok so there's this teddy bear. But he's not just any teddy bear. He's an evil teddy bear!"

Boss: "Why is he evil?"

Web Designer: "Uh, he uh... he was messing around in some toxic waste! Yeah! He's even got a glowing red biohazard symbol on his chest to prove it! And you know he's mutated because he's got a fork tongue like a snake!"

Boss: "But what does that have to do with getting a free iPod?"

Web Designer: "Oh you're gonna love this. Even though he's an evil teddy, he still loves listening to his iTunes! So he just sits there rocking out to some hip music and it's your job to take the iPod away from him!"

Boss: "And just how in the hell are you supposed to do that?"

Web Designer: "Why... with a hammer of course!"


And the sad thing is, that's one of the more SANE ones that I've seen recently! Hell, there's probably a few of them at the top of this very article that you're reading right now!

With that being said, we were fortunate enough to steal Doc's time machine DeLorean for a few hours so we could go see what the future of free iPod ads holds. Sure, we could've spent our time in the future doing much more productive things, but hey... not all of us are brilliant scientists like Doc now are we. Ok folks, prepare to be astounded as we give you an exclusive glimpse at the twisted future of free iPod banner ads!

Please note, while you can interact with any of the following flash banner ads in
order to see more madness, they will not actually take you to a free iPod site.
So yeah, if you were expecting a free iPod out of this... you thought wrong.
Also, due to the limitations of flash we can only show 3-4 banners per page without it getting too laggy.


help support I-Mockery by supporting our sponsors:

Running a big site like I-Mockery takes a lot o' time and costs moola too.
Want to help show your support?


Come talk about this piece & more on our Message Forums!

click here for more minimocks!