Features

Leprechaun
by: Dr. Boogie

When I think of horror icons, I think of all the big names: Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Leatherface, the Leprechaun. What, you've never heard of the Leprechaun? Why, he's more than just your average leprechaun. All leprechauns have a pot of gold that they consider sacred, but only this Leprechaun is willing to kill for it.

His wordplay wasn't quite as good as Freddy's, and his staying power didn't quite match that of Jason, and he sure doesn't deal in gore like Leatherface, but this little fellow has more going for him than meets the eye. He finds inventive new ways to torment his victims apart from killing them in vaguely ironic ways with chainsaws while they're engaged in premarital relations.


"Try as they will, and try as they might, who steals me gold won't live through the night!"

Behold, the Leprechaun, as he counts his gold, which will from here on be known as "me gold" (a reference to Lord of the Rings character, Gollum, whose real name was "Smeagol"). Not only does he possess considerable wealth; we also see in this scene that he has the power to close doors with a wave of his hand. Both items will come into play later on in the film, but for now, it's...

A tale of redemption, and the recovery of life's most precious treasures that were once thought lost. Also, there is a lot of maniacal giggling. What's say we introduce our first protagonist.

Meet Dan O'Grady. The first two characters you meet in this film are a murderous leprechaun, and an Irish fellow who is first seen draining a bottle of booze. I think that's almost every Irish stereotype covered within the first two minutes.

Anyway, Dan has just returned to the States after attending his mother's funeral in Ireland. While he was abroad, he managed to catch himself a leprechaun (THE Leprechaun) and forced him to turn over his "pot o' gold", which Dan then smuggled back to the states in an urn that used to contain his mother's ashes. Mrs. O'Grady is beside herself with nagging skepticism at the whole affair.

While brewing some tea to sober up her husband, she starts hearing a young boy singing. It's an odd thing to hear, especially when it seems to be coming from your husband's suitcase. When she gets close, the child switches to pleading for the bag to be opened so he can breathe. She opens the latches on the suitcase and...


"Do you like the gold buckles on me shoes?"

Out jumps the Leprechaun. He wants his gold back, and he's not afraid to mention that many, many times over the next 90 minutes or so. Mrs. O'Grady is terrified. So terrified, in fact, that she stumbles backwards and falls down the basement stairs.

Ok, partial credit to the Leprechaun for that kill, but it was mostly due to her own clumsiness. That's why Dan married her: her clumsiness offset his drunkenness.

Meanwhile, Dan hears his wife calling to him, but he's curious as to why she's asking about the gold's location all of a sudden.

Dan's wife is dead, but he'll be damned if he'll give up the gold he won, fair and square. Luckily (ha, "luckily"), he knows how you deal with an unruly leprechaun:

A little something green, coupled with something a little more gun-colored. The Leprechaun seems pretty scared of the four-leaf clover, less so of the gun. Even so, the bullets eventually drive the Leprechaun into the basement, where he taunts Dan even more with his voice mimicry:


"Give him the gold, Dan. He's a nice little leprechaun."

Dan shoots the Leprechaun a few more times, and this time, the Leprechaun doesn't get back up. Dan tosses the little fellow into a large wooden crate and nails it shut, making sure to keep the clover on top of the crate. With the crate sealed, he douses it with gasoline and prepares to set his whole basement ablaze. The Leprechaun, awake once more, taunts Dan throughout the process, casually mentioning that Dan could give himself a stroke if he keeps exerting himself. And wouldn't you know it, he does.


"Burn in hell you little green bastard."

Dan, it's one thing to command someone to burn, but making good on such a promise is a leaf of a different clover. Too bad you had to stroke off before you could fry that malevolent Leprechaun.

Ten years later, there is apparently a glut of country songs that deal with the topic of four-leaf clovers. Forget the country music and arid landscape. It's time to meet our next couple characters: dopey guy in a loud shirt, and his whiny idiot daughter.

That's JD and Tory Redding (Jennifer Aniston), respectively. JD is the new owner of Dan O'Grady's crap shack, and his daughter is along for the ride. She immediately indicts herself as a bimbo with her first few lines. She complains about spending her summer away from LA, in scenic New Mexico. JD, however, is quick to remind her that they're in North Dakota, not New Mexico. I know, I often confuse the two myself.

Why, look right there. It's one of those famous North Dakotan Tarantulas. It's all just too much to bear for poor, put-upon Tory. She decides that if her dad won't reconsider, she'll just have to make reservations for herself at a hotel.

While she's on the phone, she walks right into Nathan, one of the housepainters brought in to spruce up this crummy house. He spills some paint thinner in the collision, and Tory offers to pay him for his trouble. Yes, she would rather fork over $40 cash than reduce herself to giving the apology that Nathan requests. People from LA are rich jerks, are you getting that yet? No? Okay then, we'll revisit that topic later.

Following their initial meeting, the pair exchange insipid dialogue wherein Tory does more whining and Nathan talks about girls being afraid of bugs. Well, Tory won't stand for that. Apologies, no, but when her masculinity is called into question by a stranger, she insists that she be allowed to stay at the house with her dad. LA people are spiteful, too.

Meanwhile, Ozzie (Mark Holton) and Alex, the other two guys in the "3 Guys That Paint" housepainting company, are shooting the breeze. Ozzie, the guy wearing the overalls and what is literally a painter's shirt, is spinning a yarn about some UFO that he saw. Alex, the Master to Ozzie's Blaster, has had enough of his dumb friend's blathering, and slingshots some gum into his face. Good for him.

Back in the house, Tory has prepared some juice for her and Nathan. She's warmed up to him quite quickly, you see. Unfortunately, Nathan hits her in the face with a tarp because he didn't see or hear her walking around in the basement. Would you hire someone to paint your house if they didn't notice someone standing less than ten feet away and shouting their name? JD would.

In the commotion, the juice spills into the Leprechaun's crate, rousing him from his ten-year-long nap. Nathan actually wants to take a look in the crate, but Tory would rather impugn all housepainters the world over with her careless remarks. Oh yes, painting houses for a living and driving a dented pickup truck sure is strange, Tory. Bitch.

Anyway, they're pulled away from dooming themselves when Ozzie causes a commotion. It seems Alex wasn't holding the ladder properly, and that somehow caused Ozzie to drag a paint roller across his face and shoulders. Ozzie needs to clean off his face. Good thing "3 Guys That Plumb" came by earlier to fix the pipes.

While inside, Ozzie hears the same kind of singing that lead poor Mrs. O'Grady to fall down a flight of stairs. But Ozzie's in the basement already, so there's no fear of that. He determines that the singing is coming from a dusty crate. Better dust that crate off a little.

Oh Ozzie, you stupid, wide man.




"Hey tubby, got a light for an old leprechaun's pipe?"

The Leprechaun makes his dramatic entrance, bursting out of the crate with the kind of strength you'd expect from a dwarf who's been crated for the past decade. He taunts Ozzie and giant ant-like creature that happens to be on his arm.

And after claiming to be "a shoemaker by trade", he offers to shine Ozzie's Converse sneakers, but only if he'll tell him where his gold is. When that doesn't get him a proper response, the Leprechaun threatens to bite off Ozzie's ear, AND make a boot out of it! That much at least gets a response out of Ozzie. The response is him screaming and running for the door.

In response, the Leprechaun uses his hoary powers to shoot a bolt of crackling green energy to... shut the door. Ozzie opens the door back up and runs away, leaving the Leprechaun to grouse about how his powers are weak from a distinct lack of gold.

There's still more madness to Leprechaun!
Click here to continue onward to page 2!

 

Reader Comments

grants but one wish
Nov 6th, 2008, 04:04 AM
i must see this movie now, if only just for this scene: "uses his hoary powers to shoot a bolt of crackling green energy to... shut the door. Ozzie opens the door back up and runs away"
drifting in the void
Nov 6th, 2008, 04:51 AM
Sounds like great entertainment.
Last of the Time Lords
Nov 6th, 2008, 05:14 AM
I minor classic. Everyone is terrible in this movie except for Davis, and his performance makes it worthwhile.
Fanboy
Nov 6th, 2008, 05:16 AM
This film is some true old-school shenanigans!
Using Ninjitsu of Fushin
Nov 6th, 2008, 06:41 AM
I love the forth instalment "Leprechaun 4: In Space" its a true classic, just like when critters when to space! I am still let to see number five "Leprechaun in the Hood"
John Freeman! Over here!
Nov 6th, 2008, 08:35 AM
Leprechaun + Go-Kart = One Way Trip To Wackyness
I hate this hacker crap!
Nov 6th, 2008, 10:40 AM
Brilliant. Simply brilliant. I've never watched any of the series, but I was familiar with "In tha hood". Thank you for that most enlightening piece of work.
Retardedly Handsome
Nov 6th, 2008, 11:03 AM
We got Freddy vs. Jason and Alien vs. Predator, Who would be a good match for the Leprechaun. I think Hollywood should get back into making monster crossover movies. I just watch Frankenstien meets the space monsters(circa 1965?) or something like that, not that it was the best film but it was entertaining. Instead of dumping out crappy snuf films why just rehash some of the 80's & 90's stars...

If Jonny Nuemonic met Neo would that be like John Malkovich sliding into his own head?
Pickled Patriarch
Nov 6th, 2008, 11:40 AM
Icculus, clearly the Leprechaun vs. Chucky would be the way to go.
What Video Games?
Nov 6th, 2008, 12:16 PM
Better yet, Leprechaun vs. Chucky vs. Puppet Master.

The only bits of the Lep I've seen is Part 3, mainly the part where the magician literally gets sawed in half and Leprechaun in Space in it's entirety. Ridiculous. Fun, but still ridiculous.
Cell Regenerated Deadite
Nov 6th, 2008, 12:33 PM
YO YO YO ! What about Leprechaun 5 when he goes to DA HOOD?
Sloth, PhD
Nov 6th, 2008, 12:35 PM
Leprechaun in the Hood is one of my favorite reeeeeeally bad movies.

"I'll take it from you, homie, you'll see, cause you know the Leprechaun is the real O.G."
☆☆☆☆☆
Nov 6th, 2008, 12:36 PM
I heard there was a part 5, where he goes to da hood!
1.21 Gigawatts!!!
Nov 6th, 2008, 02:30 PM
Maybe the leprechaun can face Pee Wee Herman. Both wear silly suits and have an affinity for bicycles.
Eating angry potatos.
Nov 6th, 2008, 04:20 PM
Hey, the "ant like creature" is a potato bug.... also known as a Jerusalem cricket... they are pure evil, and taste really good.

Great movie!
Funky Dynamite
Nov 6th, 2008, 04:21 PM
In Leprechaun 5, he goes to the 'hood. In Leprechaun 6, he returns to the 'hood.
ima betch
Nov 6th, 2008, 05:10 PM
I have seen leprechaun 2 it was funny as hell
pickled
Nov 6th, 2008, 06:45 PM
How would even want to produce these movies?
Forum Virgin
Nov 6th, 2008, 07:04 PM
Is it wrong that I own the "Pot of Gore" collection of the first 5 Leprechaun films (and picked up part 6 separately)? If it is, I don't want to be right. They are continually ridiculous, but lots of fun. Warwick Davis is a king among men.
Ghoul
Nov 7th, 2008, 12:33 AM
I still rag a buddy of mine for suggesting that we go see this when it was still in theaters. I had put so much of it out of my memory that the only part I remember is when he was feeling up Jennifer Aniston at the beginning.
Member
Nov 7th, 2008, 02:41 AM
I'm amazed many of you HAVEN'T seen this film. There was a SNL Wayne's World segment at the time that did a sketch about how garth is afraid of the Leprechaun with wyane holding a flashlight under his face and doing his now shrek/ fat bastard voice repeating "da leprechaun" over and over. The bit was such a keystone that when it came time to promote the waynes world movie, they revised it for a few mtv specials.

Seriously, this is probably the most famous awful horror movie of it's day. Either you were too young or lived in a cave around the time of it's release to have missed it.

Warwick is, as the others have stated, the best part about these films. But isn't that the norm? I mean with the exception of part 1, weren't all of the kids in the freddy movies, completely uninteresting and unlikeable? Same with Jason, leatherface, ect? I think they do that on purpose so you actually don't mind when the villain returns for the sequel as he's the only saving grace of the film.

Also for those you haven't watched it (and apparently Rog) we need to point out that Ozzie is "special" / "differenlty abled" /ect (or whatever pc word the kids use for mental retardation these days). So while we can totally make fun of the others for all of their bonehead moves, we need to lay off the Ozz man as he doesn't know any better. With the exception of eating one of the coins of course. I mean what did he think it was chocolate? Even then, he eats chocolate coins without taking the wrapper off?

I would reccomend the Leprechaun in space one btw.... has two or three jokes regarding male "junk" including a hilarious segment involving the leprechaun and a enlarging ray. (And by hilarious I mean passably funny.)
Pickled Patriarch
Nov 7th, 2008, 04:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Exeter View Post
Is it wrong that I own the "Pot of Gore" collection of the first 5 Leprechaun films (and picked up part 6 separately)? If it is, I don't want to be right. They are continually ridiculous, but lots of fun. Warwick Davis is a king among men.
Wrong? Not at all man. You're talking to a guy who has purchased countless awful, yet unintentionally hilarious, movies. So by all means, continue to purchase the Leprechaun films until they stop making 'em.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HowardC View Post
Also for those you haven't watched it (and apparently Rog)
Uh, I didn't write this article, but thanks for the credit anyway.
Forum Virgin
Nov 7th, 2008, 05:57 AM
i saw in da hood and what sticks out as my fav part is when one of the pp pulls a baseball bat out of his hair right at the start it was so unpredictable it craked me up
The Power of Grayskull
Nov 7th, 2008, 07:26 AM
I was beside myself while reading this article wondering how Rog could be panning and mocking such a classic entry into 80s horror cheese, screaming to myself "Say it ain't so, Rog! Oh how I used to know thee!".

And then I realized it was written by Dr. Boogie, not Rog, so all is well.
The article was entertaining, but this sort of thing is right in your wheelhouse Rog! I'd have liked to have heard your take on it.
Mrs. Mighty Tyrant
Nov 7th, 2008, 08:07 AM
Lep in the Hood was the best.
Return to the Hood, not so much.
I hate it when they try to take a series gone askew and attempt to make a real movie.
Lep in da hood,
And he's up to no good.
Movie Enthusiast
Nov 7th, 2008, 11:03 AM
This was an absolutely fantastic read. Please do the rest of the Leprechaun movies.
40 pound box of rape?
Nov 7th, 2008, 01:44 PM
I saw In Ds Hood on BET once. There's a scene (hell, perhaps it's the whole movie) where everyone is doing various narcotics. Pretty much every character has either a bong or a joint in their hand. So BET saw fit to blur out all the offending objects. What we're left with is a bunch of black people running around with big blurs in their hands. It really ads to the ridiculous nature of the movie
WHAM!
Nov 8th, 2008, 12:40 AM
Just watched it now, you got it stuck in my head.
This movie seemed to go on and on and on, that is everything repeated at least 514 times.

I've heard many good things about the hilarity of the second Leprechaun movie from a friend who's seen em' all.
Hopefully the Leprechaun has just as much love for dinky little cars and tricycles in the second movie.
Tox Tox is offline
Forum Virgin
Nov 8th, 2008, 10:54 AM
The leprechaun movies are so awesomely bad. I've seen em all and when I was a kid I was terrified of him. I find it hilarious now that I could be scared of a midget with a mask on. hah. But I really hope they make another sequel that's somewhere just as odd as in space. Maybe "Leprechaun 20 Leagues Under the Sea"?
Importer/Exporter
Nov 9th, 2008, 03:22 PM
I had the pleasure of meeting Warwick Davis (the leprechaun, Willow, etc) a few years ago and he was quite awesome. I had no idea he was THAT tiny. I mean, he's even tiny by dwarf standards. But still, he's adorable.
Forum Virgin
Nov 9th, 2008, 10:18 PM
Likeable horror protagonists? How about Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode?
aint nobody
Nov 12th, 2008, 05:53 AM
ah Leprechaun,it's right up there with the likes of the TROLL movies in utter stupidity,yet can't look away type movies
You'll thank me later...
Nov 16th, 2008, 12:58 AM
Quote:
we need to point out that Ozzie is "special" / "differenlty abled" /ect (or whatever pc word the kids use for mental retardation these days). So while we can totally make fun of the others for all of their bonehead moves, we need to lay off the Ozz man
Never.
Forum Virgin
Nov 18th, 2008, 03:45 PM
Dr. Boogie is my favorite writer on this site.
I love his rom hack reviews, does he still do them?
Forum Virgin
Nov 18th, 2008, 03:57 PM
Oh, and am I the only person who think Jennifer Aniston looks better now, then when she was younger?
Forum Virgin
Nov 23rd, 2008, 10:46 PM
The scene where he convinces Ozzie to let him out of the box is awesome. " Let me out of the box! I'll give you three wishes........LET ME OUT OF THE DAMN BOX!!!"
Forum Virgin
Dec 23rd, 2009, 10:21 PM
This movie is so stupid that my I.Q. dropped 20 points in the first 10 minutes of it.
I would have walked out of this movie.............on an airplane its so bad.
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