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The Robo Force That Never Made It!
by:
-RoG-

There were a million robotic warrior toys back in the 80's, and while series such as the Transformers and the Go-Bots took the spotlight, there were many other excellent ones that went practically unnoticed. One of those toy lines were the Robo Force by Ideal easily my favorite of the lot, they were big, clunky, and had suction cups instead of feet. Years ago I started up a Robo Force fan site simply because nobody on the web had even written a thing about them at the time. I wanted to provide a simple site with information about what they were... or at the very least, let people knew they existed. Unfortunately, with the huge popularity of the Transformers and some other toy lines, the Robo Force stood no chance and they were canned far too early.

It was hard enough dealing with the fact that my favorite robots would no longer be made, but the worst thing was seeing some of the items that Ideal had planned to release. I was pretty excited about some of them, but sadly they never made it to the toy store shelves. So here's a rare glimpse at the Robo Force toys that could have been, but never were. Damn you Megatron! DAMN YOU!

THE NEW BAD GUYS! RARRRR!
[click to enlarge]

First off we have some of the evil robots. Hun-Dred was pretty much the big bad guy of the bunch, but I always preferred Cruel. He just looked mean, he had huge hands... and let's face it. If you're gonna be an evil purple robot, you're gonna have to make up for it by being pretty damned tough. Enemy and Vulgar rounded out the bunch. But there were three new robots featured in this catalog ad that had lots of evil potential...

BEWARE THE CHEEKS OF DOOM!
PLUNDOR - THE PULVERIZER!

Now here's a unique robot if I've ever seen one. Sure we've all seen the robots that have lasers in their eyes or in their mouths, but not Plundor! No siree! Plundor is the world's first robot with CHEEK-LASERS! I guess that allows him to laugh while he shoots and robs you. And how do you explain that one to the cops? "Yeah officer, this friggin' robot shot me with his cheeks and then robbed me." Trust me, if Plundor robs your ass, it's best to just let it go because nobody is gonna believe you were overpowered by robotic cheeks. NOBODY. Just be glad they weren't robotic ass cheeks... though I'm sure "Assdor" was somewhere in Ideal's plans for future robots.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSNAKEY!
FANGAR - THE CONSPIRATOR!

Damn, now this guy would've been one of the first ones I purchased had he ever made it to the stores. Forget chutes and ladders, the Robo Force were onto something much better: Snakes and Robots! Fangar looked like one hell of a menacing robotic cobra and definitely stood out from the rest of the pack. Sure, he doesn't actually have any fangs even though he's called "Fangar", but he does have some snakes coming out of his mouth. Maybe he was eating his offspring or preparing to spit them out at his enemies. Whatever the case may be, I wouldn't fuck with the guy. Then again, I'm not sure how snakes could hurt other robots, unless they were robotic snakes with robotic venom. But that, that would just be madness since everything else in the world of Robo Force is so realistic.

SAY, WANNA GIVE ME A HAND WITH THESE THINGS?
ARSENAL - THE DEVASTATOR!

Good god, does this little robot have enough crap on him or what? Arsenal lives up to his name without a doubt, but with all of that heavy weaponry, I imagine he'd be pretty slow. Plus, aside from that intimidating black head, he's bright yellow and orange... so it's not like you wouldn't see the guy coming away. I guess that's why he needs all the weapons. My guess is that the rest of the evil robots would just throw Arsenal at the Robo Force and let him explode. Sure, he'd be vaporized by all of his weaponry in an instant, but chances are he'd take out some of the other robots, along with a few blocks too.

Alrighty, now let's move onto the good guys.

GOOD GUYS! YES WE ARE!
[click to enlarge]

The Robo Force were lead by the mighty Maxx Steele, who is the one robot from the series that people seem to remember... most likely because there was actually a huge life-sized robot, a phone, and an Erector set modeled after him. His other good guy robo-buddies included Coptor, Sentinel, Wrecker, Blazer, and S.O.T.A. but I always called him "Soda" when I was a kid. I recall that I even poured some soda into his suction cup once and drank it. Actually, no, no I didn't do that ever. Just pretend you didn't read that, ok?

There were also three new robots that would be coming to the aid of the Robo Force though in all fairness, the Robo Force already outnumbered the bad guys by two extra robots from the start. So yeah, they kinda had an unfair advantage at all times, and at most they should've only gotten one extra robot. I thought good guys never cheat? Care to explain that one to me, Maxx? I didn't think so.

THEY RAPED ME :(
TILTOR - THE CHANGER!

Out of all the new robot designs, this one cracked me up the most by far. Ideal was apparently so proud of the fact that they had introduced some new robots that had "flexible waists", they decided to name one of them after this amazing feat. His name? TILTOR. No fancy weapons, no snakes, and I don't even think he has cheeks. But hey, he could tilt like a mofo. Maybe he was just some kind of horribly abused sex-bot for the Robo Force to have their way with since they already outnumbered the bad guys. Yep, they just bent Tiltor over a table any time they pleased and lubed him up. Then again, he does appear to have a red robo-phallus, so perhaps he was a giver and a taker. Either way, it sounds like Tiltor was used for sex and then tossed aside. And that my friends, is the sad, sad story of Tiltor.

I'M THE DIRECTOR! ACTION!
OPTICON - THE INTERCEPTOR!

Holy shit! Those X10 camera people ripped off the Robo Force! Look on top of Opticon's head... it looks like one of those web-cams to me. I'm starting to see the big picture here. Apparently Ideal's plan for the Robo Force was to have them destroy the small group of bad guys and then break into the field of internet pornography. See, they had Tiltor, the "porn star" of the group, and then they had Opticon, the "director" of said porno flicks. And the audience? Children ages 4 years and up. Damn! My hat goes off to the people at Ideal for making such a bold move!

D-E-S-T-R-O-Y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RIPPER - THE ANTI-ROBOT!

Oh come on! That's just horse shit! There's no way a badass robot (er... excuse me, "anti-robot") like that could be one of the good guys. He's green and had those chompin' jaws of death that just scream "I'm a bad guy." If you think for one minute that Ripper wouldn't go insane and slaughter every member of the Robo Force team in a fit of evil robotic rage, you're a fool. Just look at him! One look at Blazer's ability to squirt water out of his head/snout, and Ripper would tear him to shreds and then go laugh about it with Hun-Dred and the rest of the crew. Look I'll make it simply for you people. Ripper = bad guy. End of story.

HI! WE'RE WHITEYS!
MARK FURY and DEENA STRONG!

Ok, now why the hell would they want to introduce a bunch of inferior fleshlings into the world of Robo Force? If they want to put them in the comics or shows, fine... but realistically, no kid would want to buy some extremely plain looking human figures when they could buy a robot like Ripper. Even if they did have names like Mark Fury, Deena Strong, or... Max Power, kids still wouldn't buy into them.

Ok, so you remember my theory about them having the Robo Force geared towards making pornos, right? Check out the description of Mark Fury:

"Mark Fury, the young scientist and freedom fighter who designed and built the mighty Robo Force robots, is a 5-inch, articulated and fully decorated action figure with poseable arms, legs, knees and head. His action accessories include the Anti-Grav Command Console (a figure stand that allows Mark to fit into any Robo Force vehicle), Robo-Charger "Energy Pak," Mega-Blaster Laser Rifle, "Energy Cable," boom "microphone" and hand controller."

There you have it. Now we've got a "sound guy" for the porno film. You've now got a full cast and crew just aching to get to work. I rest my case.

But don't look over Deena Strong's description either:

"Deena Strong, the fellow freedom fighter of Mark Fury is a 5-inch, articulated and fully decorated action figure with poseable legs, arms, knees and head. Her action accessories include the Anti-Grav Command Console, Twin-Turbo Flight Pak with spinning propellors, Power-Beam Defensive Shield, and Power Glove weapon."

What was she doing with Nintendo's "Power Glove" long before they released it to the public? Oh yeah, she was probably fisting poor ol' Tiltor with it. Gives a whole new meaning to that "Now you're playing with power" phrase, eh? Eugh...

While all of these new Robo Force robots would've made for some interesting battles, there was one big bad guy that was more impressive than any of them:

SIEG HEIL?
NAZGAR - THE TYRANT!
[click to enlarge]

Nazgar the Tyrant. Just look at that magnificent spectacle of evil brainy robotic doom. Sure, he does seem to be really into that Naziesque "sieg heil" gesture, but I guess it just helps drive the point home that Nazgar is one evil mofo. Not only was he battery operated and had a bright glowing brain, but check this out:

MY LEGS AREN'T THE ONLY THING THAT GROW! ;)

He could actually grow taller! A glowing brain and the ability to grow from a stumpy little dude into a giant nazi-giant... most impressive by evil leader standards. The Robo Force already outnumbered the bad guys, plus they had the big "Fortress of Steele" base (which believe it or not, I still have one sealed in the box) and the ridiculously huge "Command Patroller" vehicle, so it's good to see that the bad guys were going to get something to help even things out a bit... even if it was a tall, brainy robotic Nazi tyrant. Oh if only he had made it to the shelves in stores, maybe then the Robo Force would've been noticed by everyone a bit more.

So that does it for all of the new characters that they were planning to release, but there were still a few new assault vehicles. Funny thing is, with the older vehicles such as the "Robocruiser" and the "Dred Crawler" weren't powered by gasoline or plutonium. No no no... they were powered by a much more incredible technology that mankind has yet to master: BALLOONS. Sure, they said that the vehicles were powered by the "air bot" 'n all, but trust me... they were friggin' balloons. As the air from the balloons was released, the vehicles would move forward. Amazing! So would the latest vehicle additions live up to the mighty power of balloons?

THREE-WAY MY ASS...
TRIAD THREE-WAY ATTACK VEHICLE!
[click to enlarge]

Ok, now this thing looked like a joke to me. As a flying attack vehicle, sure, it's fine 'n dandy, but the way they promoted it as a three-way converter was b.s. It just sounds like they were trying to figure out a way to compete with the Transformers, but I'm sorry removing two propellers and green tubes doesn't really count as "converting" a flying ship into a "land glider". Pretty lame...

WHAT IS IN THOSE GREEN TUBES!?!?
TRANSBLASTER LASER LIFT CANNON!
[click to enlarge]

Can't say this thing looks much better, but at least they're not trying to bullshit what it really is. It's just a simple crank-powered cannon for the robots to fit into. Not sure what their obsession with those green tubes on these new vehicles was, but at least they've moved on from the balloons. The only cool thing about the Transblaster was that it could either work as a stationary standalone unit, or it could attach onto the "Robocruiser" or "Dred Crawler" for some additional firepower.

Sadly, it didn't look like they were planning any kind of a base for the evil robots. Where was their Snake Mountain, huh? Well, I suppose it's understandable. I mean, you'd need to make a pretty friggin' huge base to fit mister growing-legs Nazi Nazgar into it. I can just see him having another growth spurt and bursting through the roof. So in the end, I guess it's best that the evil robots remained homeless and out in the open. All the repairs for their base would've been far too costly.

Well, I hope you guys have enjoyed this rare glimpse at what could've and should've been some new additions to the Robo Force toy line. I'll have some more Robo Force rarities to share with you in the not too distant future, so keep your eyes peeled for 'em. You know, it's really sad that these new toys never made it to the store shelves, but even sadder is the fact that...

I'M STILL WAITING!!!!!

I've been a member of the Robo Force Fan Club for over 20 goddamned years now and they still haven't sent me another fan club pack! THIS CLUB SUCKS!!!

-RoG-


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