The Joker |
"I'm thankful that
even I'm not as fucking crazy as
Frank Miller has become. Seriously. That guy scares me." |
Dr. Doom |
"Doom's sense of
superiority and entitlement forbid him to be thankful for anything!
Also, because it must be said: CURSE YOU RICHARDS!!!" |
Magneto |
"Yeah, I'm
real fucking thankful that I'm the only respectable X-Men
villain, and Marvel keeps taking away my powers or turning me into a
baby or some shit. Yeah. Good times." |
Lex Luthor |
"Damn, look at
me! I'm sassy! I suppose you could say I'm thankful for
that." |
Apocalypse |
"Hrmm. I'd have to say
jumbo belt buckles." |
Iron Man |
"I'm thankful I
can get away murder and not only that, but get totally promoted for
it! Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Don't mind if I do!
Also, I am not a
skrull." |
Two-Face |
"I'm thankful for
second helpings! What, did you honestly expect me to say
something else?" |
Venom |
"I don't know what I'm
thankful for, but the ladies are thankful for my super
tongue, if ya know what I'm sayin'!" |
Loki |
"More than anything, I
guess you could say I'm thankful for very tall doorways, really." |
Ra's Al Ghul |
"I'm thankful for the
life after death granted to me by Jesus. Oh, and the way it looks
like I have little swoopy wings on the side of my head. Wooooosh!" |
Green Goblin |
"I'm just glad I
can carry a purse and still be considered manly. Wait, who's that
laughing? WHO'S FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME??" |
Darkseid |
"I'm thankful that I
don't look like a tremendous goober. What? I do? Oh. Well, fuck it,
I guess I'm not thankful for anything then." |
Poison Ivy |
"I'm thankful
that most of these villains are super-gay. I mean just look
at these guys. Sure, I can't use my feminine super-wiles on them,
but I also don't have to deal with them hitting on me all night." |
Kingpin |
"I'm also thankful for
second helpings, and third helpings, and fourth helpings. It's
because I'm a fatty." |
Brainiac |
"I just wish that
people wouldn't use my name as an insult. Like when someone does
something stupid and then it's like 'Nice going, Brainiac'.
Cuz it really kind of hurts sometimes." |
Kang the Conqueror |
"I'm thankful for my
super sexy sense of style that ensures all the ladies will never get
enough of the Kangster. What? Poison Ivy's the only chick in
attendance? Why the fuck did I even show up to this goddamned helmet
party?" |
Black Manta |
"I'm thankful that my
arch 'nemesis' is Aquaman. I mean, the other villains laugh, sure,
but it's like I don't even have to lift a finger." |
Bullseye |
"I'm thankful
that Daredevil takes me seriously, even though I dress like a
goddamn clown." |
Doctor Octopus |
"I'm thankful
that someone at Marvel decided to finally update my hair and get rid
of that godawful embarrassing bowl cut. I mean, what am I, like
eight years old?" |
Bizarro |
"Bizarro am not
unthankful that all writers not can don't agree for not consensus on
how Bizarro should not speak, so readers not can never understand no
words he isn't saying!" |
Mysterio |
"I'm thankful that my
goldfish died and left me this empty bowl, for without it, I would
have never become the awesome supervillain you see before you!" |
Sinestro |
"I'm thankful for
railroad tracks, so that I have something to kidnap girls and tie
them to! Nyah!" |
Dr. Light |
"I'm thankful
that I got turned from a third-rate joke of a Teen Titans villain to
a dangerous rapist!" |
The Riddler |
"I'm just glad my
normal outfit isn't as obscene as that skin-tight spandex Jim Carrey
wore in that horrible movie. I mean, you don't really want to see
that, and I don't really want to show it." |
Red Skull |
"I'm glad that Marvel
is full of stupid ideas that allow me to get away with things like
killing Captain America." |
The Leader |
"Why, ten gallon
hats, of course!" |
Galactus |
"I'm thankful I
wasn't really in that new Fantastic Four Silver Surfer movie.
Did you see that shit? It was fucking awful!" |
