Features

Vintage Halloween Cards: Part 2
by: -RoG-

Since you guys seemed to enjoy that last batch of bizzaro Halloween cards from yesteryear so much, I figured I would put up another two pages of 'em for your amusement. So let's dive right into yet another batch of these ultra-weirdo vintage Halloween Cards!


Fact: Goblins love scented candles.


Apparently fishing with pumpkins and bondage were a big part of Halloween festivities back in the day.


Sure, he's laughing now, but that kid won't be laughing when the
constable gives him a brutally violent beatdown for knocking off his hat.


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...


Your fate is in your own hands, so don't dress like a sailor. Perhaps then the angry pumpkin god won't murder you. Perhaps.


Child labor was once used for the giant pumpkin harvests. Happy Halloween!


What's scarier, the pumpkin ghost or the cat with the enormous head in the bottom left corner?


I'm not sure what the witch is helping her choose... what shade of blush to wear perhaps?
Should a person really be accepting blindfolded beauty tips from a witch?


This young fortune teller knew all that she needed to know about this guy by reading the calluses on his palm.


When one black cat crosses your path, it's bad luck.
When many cross your path? It's a conga line and you had damn well better join in the fun.


That's right folks, allow life's truly important decisions to be settled by walnuts on fire.
It's a great way to decide on whom to marry, what stocks to invest in, whether or not to commit suicide, etc.


I want a pumpkin with laser eyes.


Jolly indeed, just look at all the joy on their faces!


A black cat in a pumpkin shell, an owl on your shoulder... what no partridge in a pear tree?


Popular witch prank: make somebody think they're a two-headed freak.


She's ashamed of her pumpkin-headed son.


And if the image of your lover doesn't appear in the candle wax, he'll remove his shoe and beat you to death with it.


Wild pigs tripping up a kilted Scotsman? Yep, it's Halloween alright!

There are still more Vintage Halloween Cards to see!
Click here to continue onward to page 2!

 

Reader Comments

grants but one wish
Oct 7th, 2008, 03:58 AM
it cant be a very lucky gate if people keep stealing it now can it?
Last of the Time Lords
Oct 7th, 2008, 04:55 AM
One time I had a fever and was on medication and I spent the day in bed reading a Little Nemo book.

The hallucinatory dreams I had were exactly like these cards.
Fanboy
Oct 7th, 2008, 05:35 AM
I often trip Scotsmen on Halloween.
Forum Virgin
Oct 7th, 2008, 06:33 AM
That bondage one was kinda hot...
Member
Oct 7th, 2008, 06:42 AM
I loved the expression on Zombie Pumpkin boys face!
1.21 Gigawatts!!!
Oct 7th, 2008, 09:42 AM
I do not know why, but the “Wallop” cat reminds me of the Simpson’s cat Snowball (II).

The girl looks like she is burning a training bra on the coat rack. It must be a subliminal women’s lib card.

Naked pumpkin boy is just creepy!!!!

The guy behind the fence looks like he may be into leather or potentially bondage. Maybe he should hook up with the girl tied up eating apples.
Flying Finn
Oct 7th, 2008, 11:27 AM
Man oh man...spooky stuf, they sure where twisted back in the day.

You should definetly do an article on NAKED PUMPKIN MAN...now that would be something to read :D
Cell Regenerated Deadite
Oct 7th, 2008, 12:21 PM
Displayed are cards that nightmares are made of. Superb!
Member
Oct 7th, 2008, 02:25 PM
i actually know the history behind alot of these cards! i just read a book called Death Makes A Holiday and it talks about halloween culture. but in particular that one were you talked about the girl picking out her make up or blush.... those are actually three bowls... here is the story:

"its a divination game involving three bowls, on emepty, one with clear water, and one with soapy water or dirt. The blindfolded player would approach the bowls and dip her or his fingers into one. The clear water represented a virginal mate, the cloudy water or dirt represented damaged goods, and the empty one was the barren fate of a spinster or bachelor."

amazing huh? im available for parties people.
Can't touch this
Oct 7th, 2008, 03:06 PM
Perhaps one of the two little demons in that one card is really Azazel, in which case you have nothing to worry about! Unless, of course, it's the Azazel from that movie "Fallen" and not Isaac Asimov's Azazel...
Ms. Sorghum Molasses '82
Oct 7th, 2008, 05:42 PM
Image 7

"It's a cute little hypercephalic kitten."

/Obscure?
Riot Control
Oct 7th, 2008, 08:09 PM
While that cat with the oversized head is definitely creepier than any other character on the same card, it is still far away from surpassing the true evil that the naked pumpkin man is.
OH GOD
Oct 7th, 2008, 11:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sleazeappeal View Post
Image 7

"It's a cute little hypercephalic kitten."

/Obscure?
not for this crowd, it ain't

none of the pumpkins look like the head of john muir, either
Forgets Passwords Easily
Oct 7th, 2008, 11:34 PM
that Scotsman is clearly being caught in the act with that pig.

And I like how the little girl's candle isn't reflected in the mirror even though her candle is clearly right in front of the training bra, as McFly classified it. You cannot change the laws of physics, Jim!

and I wish I was going as Naked Pumpkin Man for Halloween and hadn't spent all my money on being Scrooge McDuck. Maybe next year
Member
Oct 8th, 2008, 12:33 AM
I, too, want a pumpkin with laser eyes for Hallowe'en.
Crazed Techno-Biologist
Oct 8th, 2008, 02:25 AM
some guy with makeup on his face feeling up a gal in the park? thats pretty filthy, even for todays standards.
good fer what ails ye.
Oct 9th, 2008, 05:24 PM
By today's standards, Naked pumpkin man should have a show on MTV.

Where he dates perverted, preferably hydrocephalic cats who go "Oh no you di'int girl"!
way too much.
good fer what ails ye.
Oct 9th, 2008, 05:27 PM
Also, N.P.M. should become a vital portion of this site during Hallow e'en time.
The Power of Grayskull
Oct 11th, 2008, 11:20 AM
Those playing cards on page 1 actually look pretty cool. I wouldn't mind having a set of those. Any clues on where to find them Rog?
Oh, hi.
Oct 14th, 2008, 06:41 PM
These guys are gonna distract me from midterms...maybe they'll scare the professor into not giving the midterms. I know they disturb me O_o
4 Eyes, No Brain.
Jul 11th, 2009, 05:40 PM
The 'Death really doesn't know how to hold a cat comfortably' one had me in hysterics. I agree with many of the posters in the fact that Naked Pumpkin Man should be a feature for Halloween '09.
The Grand Old n00b
Oct 25th, 2009, 12:55 AM
THAT KID'S NAME IS HAPPY.
How friggin' diabolical are you to name your child Happy? That'll probably disturb the kid forever. No wonder he's become a gate-stealing delinquent.
Member OfThe Pigmask Army
Sep 20th, 2010, 11:32 PM
If I ever saw a Naked Pumpkin Man in my house, the first thing that would go through my mind would be a self-inflicted bullet.
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