Rom Hack Reviews

Abnormal Family: Butt Babies And Tranny Tramps
-a rom hack of "Battletoads and Double Dragon" for the Sega Genesis-
review by: Dr. Boogie

Lately, things have been rather quiet on the rom hack front. I've been noticing a reduction in the number of hacks making their way into my mailbox. Maybe it's finally over, I thought. Maybe this whole hacking business has finally gone the way of the dodo (in hack-speak, "maybe this whole hacking business has finally coke-snorted the dickbird"). No, my friends, not at all. You know how the tide goes out just before a tsunami hits? That's what happened here, only instead of water, I was drowned in a deluge of diarrhea and man gravy.

In particular, our good "friend" Jomb has been curiously absently lately. Had he finally succumbed to the same laziness that kills the careers of so many other rom hackers? No, not Jomb. He wasn't just working on a hack, he was working on THE hack. His magnum opus that would bring all the worst elements of rom hacking into one incoherent quagmire of disgrace and iniquity. He called it...


Abnormal Family: Butt Babies and Tranny Tramps

Prior to its horrific transformation, you might have recognized this game as Battletoads and Double Dragon for the Sega Genesis. As with the original, Abnormal Family is a crossover game in which Jomb tries to combine many of the different elements from all across the Jombiverse. The result is a veritable clash of the titans, the likes of which have never been seen before in the world of rom hacking.

First, a quick recap for those of you who aren't caught up on the events of the Jomb-iverse: at the end of Tran Tramps, the twin transsexuals Filly and Jammy, along with their traitorous guide Oldfag, were impregnated with butt babies by the Sex God. Filly and Jammy were able to deliver theirs without too much trouble, but Oldfag was just too stretched out, and died. The two "sisters" decided to raise the three butt babies as their own. Some time later, the Butt Babies (Reek, Rank, and Stench) managed to open a portal to hell and rescue Fucko, the former partner of the Lone Rapist who was slain after giving him some bad information on the 43rd president. Now, the group lives together as a family. An Abnormal Family, but a family nonetheless.

But all is not well. The Sex God is still on the loose. His sister the Sex Goddess, tired of the near endless amount of incest she is subjected to by her brother, has sworn revenge on the Tranny Tramps. To wit, she has assembled her own elite crew of degenerates to take care of them once and for all.

Of course, I'm just paraphrasing. The details of the story can be found in the manual, which Jomb has hacked even more thoroughly than his manual for Tran Tramps. For now, though, let's me the players.

The good guys... well, the protagonists: Rank, Reek, and Stench, along with their transsexual mothers, Filly and Jammy. Against them, the even more profane villains: Cockules, Tommy Toilet, Jooz (King of the Jizz Muppets), AIDS Lass, the Night Voyeur, and of course, the Sex Goddess.

With a lineup like this, how can you expect anything but carnage and debauchery, not necessarily in that order?

Anyway, I decided to go with Filly. Why Filly, you ask? Because all of the Butt Babies have had their walking speeds screwed up thanks to a minor cock-up in the programming department. Reek's isn't bad, but Stench moves like he has two club feet, while Rank walks twice as fast as he runs. Not a good skill to have in a game with platforming sections.

Let's begin:


Lair of Cockles

Cockules lives at the ass-end of the Sex Goddess' "Vagship". You'll need to beat Cockules before he'll let you through his back door and into the bowels of the ship. See? I could be a rom hacker, too.


Cockules Cultist

A cult of sorts has been erected in honor of Cockules. You'll have to beat off hordes of these guys before you face the big man.


Phallus Phairy

This tiny discolored woman plans on giving you the shaft, big time. This will be your first taste of how deadly man gravy can be.


Dick Weed

To me, a dick made of balls seems like the world's greatest Freudian Slip. Slip or no, this dick isn't that hard... to beat.


Cockules

The other son of the Sex God is angry at the Tramps for ruining his temple in Italy. He's full of piss and vinegar, and... um... tapioca... maybe something about helmets.

Screw it, I'll let Jomb handle the innuendo from here on. Let's see level 2.


Rest Rooms

A whole level of nothing but bathrooms. And the boss: a giant toilet. You were expecting subtlety, perhaps?


Assface McLegs

Asses with legs have been popularized in games like PO'ed and shows like Assy Mcgee, but nowhere else have they been as unpopularized as Abnormal Family.


Giant Snoid

Far larger than a regular Snoid, this fellow walks around on plungers looking for ankles to smack. And when they're dead, their plungers can be used by the Butt Babies and Tranny Tramps to deliver the "Can't-Flush-Me" and "Old-School Enema" attacks (respectively).


Dumper of Doom

Shit being used as a weapon is nothing new. Not in the world of rom hacks, anyway. But exploding shit that you have to catch and then hurl back at the shitter before it explodes? Now there's some new ground.


Boobs Basher

Another woman riding a flying dildo, only this one attacks by flailing her floppy breasts at you. As if that weren't bad enough, there's an even more sinister side to her: Jomb seems to have tweaked the movement speed of certain characters and objects. Only one particular Boobs Basher has received a speed boost, but it's so significant that if you don't time your attacks just right, you could lose a life (or several) to her droopy tits.


Tommy Toilet

Jomb acknowledges that TT isn't one of his original creations, but frankly, when you're talking about a rom hack, who the hell cares about copyright infringement? As far as I'm concerned, it's just a giant toilet that tries to punch you and flatten you.


Jism 'N' Jismr

Into the lair of Jooz, the king of the Jizz Muppets. Despite the name of the level, jism is not all around you. However, it still remains an important part of the level, as you see here:

Even ropes can be obscene in the world of rom hacking.


Elite Jizz Muppet

The actual jizz muppets are the first enemy that you'll encounter here. You might remember them from Little Remo – The Child Abuser. Well those jizz muppets were nothing compared to these elite few with penises long enough to use as whips. As you can see, however, such a talent can work against them.

I believe this move is known as a "Bangkok lynching".


Jizz Muppet Masochist

The description from the manual says it all:

"Watch out as he slides in on an anal hook, and quite literally tears the balls out of his sack and pegs you with them!"

Two balls at once would be bad enough, but the Masochist hurls his balls at you in three-round bursts.


Female Jizz Muppet

Another case of big, floppy breasts being dangerous. This time, we learn that the fairer sex of jizz muppets is a race of bird-like creatures as ferocious as they are pale.


Jooz

Here's the star of the level. His special power: an endless supply of jism, combined with the ability to fire it off at lethal speeds. All you can do is duck under the white-hot stream and hope you can score a hit when he's not shooting. In the original game, this battle took a lot of time because you could only safely hit the boss when he wasn't firing his gun. I'm not sure how, but I'm certain that this version of that same battle takes at least twice as long.

And remember earlier when I mentioned that a couple speed tweaks were complicating matters? In this level, the speed affects the conveyor belts in the short section that includes them. Dodging pistons and electrical barriers while riding a conveyor belt is hard enough without having to worry about a sudden burst of speed sending you right into a line of those traps you were trying your best to avoid. That particular scene comes sandwiched between two other sections where you have to dodge electricity that has been sped up thanks to Jomb's meddling as well. Thank goodness for savestates.


Frigid Space

The Abnormal Family narrowly escapes the hulking, herpes-infected visage of the Sex Goddess in a scrotal pod equipped with lasers and missiles. Leaving the missiles and lasers alone seems like a missed opportunity to me.

I mean, the message you get from this hack is that if you see balls, you're bound to see a shaft somewhere nearby. Each laser shot could be a tiny penis in and of itself!

Now I know what you're thinking: missiles = turds. No no, my friends, too obvious. There's already enough turds in this turd:


Floater

These turds split off into smaller turds when you them. They explode, too, but it's not nearly as impressive as an explosion from the Dumper of Doom.


Eggsloder

At first, I thought this was just a boob. Boobs are another staple of rom hacks because they're so easy to draw: a circle with a smaller circle inside. But no, Jomb assures us that this is in fact an unfertilized egg that explodes, filling the emptiness of space with sperm shrapnel.


Rejector Egg

This one, too. Boob, right? Wrong. Another egg spitting sperm at you. Granted, this one is spitting the sperm at you without exploding, but come on. Couldn't it be like a diaphragm, or a used condom spitting sperm at you? Reservoir tip, and all that?


Aborted Embryo

You would think that the stem cells from these aborted fetii would increase your health, but nay, the opposite is the case.


Vagship

The Goddess' ship is full of surprises, including but not limited to laying out turds and killer eggs/fetii. As it takes damage, the... whore engines, let's say, will let loose more fearsome attacks, the prow will spew menstrual blood like a machine gun, and finally, when the ship has nothing more to give...

It transforms into a missile. And not just any missile.


Missile O' Aids

An AIDS missile, with enough AIDS to infect the entire world. Who better to pilot it (missiles need pilots?) than the Sex Goddess' foremost transvestite, AIDS Lass? The confused young cyborg is on a quest to become the galaxy's most prolific Giftgiver.

He/She isn't the only one gleefully enacting the final scene from Dr. Strangelove:


Syphilis Sally

This pantsless disease carrier has some surprisingly tricky moves, made all the more difficult to counter thanks to the incidental speed hack. To make matters worse, she throws a black projectile at you, which is somewhat difficult to spot against the backdrop of outer space.


VD PhD

He wrote his dissertation on his five-year study of the principles and application of DEATH!!! He jabs at you with a filthy syringe, presumably contaminated with a different VD than syphilis or AIDS, for the sake of variety. Thankfully, the same speed hack that makes Syphilis Sally a tricky opponent also causes a few of the VD PhDs to scroll right off the screen before they can start a fight with you.


Dumper of Doom

The Dumper of Doom is back, this time tossing turds out of a tiny window. Sure, there's more of him this time, but he's still plenty lame.


Deputy Dickface

Not much story behind this nosy character. Other than looking like a shaved Snuffleupagus, he doesn't really have much to do with the Jomb mythos up until now. Maybe future developments will lead to a deeper backstory for Deputy Dickface, but right now, he's just a muscular guy with a penis for a nose.


AIDS Lass

If ever there was a scary AIDS-afflicted transsexual, it would have to be AIDS Lass. The combination of a trio of hypodermic needles followed by a vicious stomp makes him/her a seriously irritating boss. Interesting side note: The stretched-out neck is a metaphor meant to serve as a parody of misconceptions about AIDS sufferers. No, not all AIDS sufferers have extra long necks made out of a string of discolored balls.

Anyway, defeating AIDS Lass somehow renders the huge missile harmless, leaving the Abnormal Family members free to fall directly into level 6.


Night of a Voyeur

Here, the family has fallen into the dingy basement of serial rapist, the Night Voyeur (whose name was mentioned in passing in Little Remo – The Child Abuser). All in all, a pretty short level without much to talk about. Except, unfortunately, for more speed hack BS.

The Assfaces come out in force. Thanks to the speed hack, they run right in and start combo'ing you immediately. If your timing is off even a little, you can expect to lose a few lives from dealing with these filler jerks. And then you wouldn't get to see the boss.


Night Voyeur

Night Voyeur is his name. Perversion, his game. The intro screen shows him standing with his penis hanging out, but you don't see it during the actual fight. I don't consider that a loss, but still.

Anyway, to make up for it, he has a couple of special moves:

There's no mention of either in the manual, but I think I can figure out some names for them.

"Tissue Ball": The Night Voyeur transforms into a giant used facial tissue and tries to rub our heroes the wrong way. Get him really angry, and he'll wipe himself all over the screen.

"The Tight Squeeze": When pressed, the Night Voyeur will quickly apply lube and escape. His egress is so fast that all you'll see is the empty lube tube bouncing on the ground.

With him down, there's no one left between our perverse "heroes" and the Sex Goddess.


Vagina's of a Goddess

In a level even shorter than the one before, you'll encounter more Cockules cultists for some reason, as well as a couple Phallus Phairies. Then this:


The Goddess' "Harddrive".

And then the real final battle.


Sex Goddess

She feels nothing but contempt for the Tranny Tramps for unleashing the Sex God. And she HATES penis, I cannot stress that enough. With her vagship destroyed and her AIDS missile deposited in South Africa, she has one last plan to defeat the Abnormal Family: engage them in a prolonged boss battle fraught with numerous cheap deaths.

She flings something red at you, which I can only assume is menstrual blood, and when she's not attacking, she transforms into a hairy orange puddle that burns on contact. She spends a lot of time not attacking, by the way.

Eventually, you defeat the Sex Goddess and send her on her way.


Dun dun duuuuuun!

This is the first Genesis hack we've ever had on the site. Jomb has always been a pioneer of rom hacking, but this time, he's really outdone himself. Hacked sprites, hacked physics, a hacked manual with hacked backstories, and even hacked music.

The original opening theme:

[bt-and-dd.mp3]

And Jomb's version:

[abnormal-family.mp3]

Jomb handed this abomination off to us months ago, but it's taken me this long to finish it because of the music. The original game music has a fair amount of low-pitched tones in it, but Jomb's version has replaced most of those with a high-pitched keening. At one point, I had to stop playing the hack because the music, which I was trying to ignore, started giving me a headache. And when I say "it started to give me a headache," I don't mean it in that hyperbolic "this hack made my eyes vomit" sort of way; I mean this hack has the dubious distinction of being the first to cause me actual, physical pain. Nevertheless, the manual contains instructions on how to order CD compilations of the music from the hack.

So bravo, Jomb. The bar for rom hacking has been raised to an unheard of level that borders on actual "quality". It will be hard to match Abnormal Family's sheer depravity, but I'm sure Jomb is up for the challenge, assuming that the effort to make Abnormal Family has not killed him.

We've already begun to receive rom hacks from aspiring authors following in Jomb's footsteps with hacked manuals of their own (which we'll be covering in the not too distant future). Can we expect more music hacks to appear on the horizon?

God help us.

Have any questions or comments about this piece?


Email Dr. Boogie

If you enjoyed this article, be sure to check out:


GAY GHOSTFUCKERS 2
("New Ghostbusters 2" Rom Hack)

Reader Comments

Big In Japan
Mar 3rd, 2009, 04:37 AM
That is truly bizarre.
SKATASTIC
Mar 3rd, 2009, 05:02 AM
How dare they!
What Video Games?
Mar 3rd, 2009, 12:37 PM
Jesus H. Christ on a kaiser bun.
Clap if you love Dynamo
Mar 3rd, 2009, 12:42 PM
Once again you've turned a game that would mortify me had I simply played it into a review that was hilarious. While I will never play these games I will always enjoy your reviews of them. Thank you for putting yourself through the emotional and (in this case) physical pain to make an article that is full of laughs.
Live long and prosper
Mar 3rd, 2009, 02:51 PM
This is SICK....I love it!
Riot Control
Mar 3rd, 2009, 06:06 PM
I can't believe how atrocities like this one can be made by a guy who obviosuly has a lot of time to spare. What leaves me without words is how the story of hacked games almost always revolves around mutant genitals and breast enhanced she-demons.
grants but one wish
Mar 3rd, 2009, 09:34 PM
just who exactly is jomb? and will his final installment tie all these hacks togeather to make a coherant story? will the Mysterious OATS Mascot be behind it all? tune in next sunday to find out...
Crazed Techno-Biologist
Mar 4th, 2009, 12:06 AM
these are so horribly disgusting, but theyre so thorough I cant quite tell whether or not its parody or parody of a parody or just horrible people who love themselves some genital based games.
good fer what ails ye.
Mar 4th, 2009, 12:29 AM
Well "jomb" sure is someone who knows how to spend large amounts of wasted time. How special.
Forum Chaos Lord
Mar 4th, 2009, 01:45 AM
Random Query:
Boogie, if I send you an actually quality ROM hack (I.E. My FF1 Hack), will you review it?

Thanks in advance.
pickled
Mar 4th, 2009, 02:03 AM
Oh god, it's back.
taco loving zombie
Mar 4th, 2009, 02:35 AM
does the queen has an a-hole in her mouth?
OH GOD
Mar 4th, 2009, 09:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimas View Post
Random Query:
Boogie, if I send you an actually quality ROM hack (I.E. My FF1 Hack), will you review it?

Thanks in advance.
i think this question's been asked before, and i think the answer was "nope, bad hacks only" :/
A little slice of wisdom
Mar 4th, 2009, 11:11 AM
Battletoads & Double Dragon was already kinda a horrible game.

You can't blame the guy for spicing things up a bit
Forum Chaos Lord
Mar 4th, 2009, 10:44 PM
Quote:
i think this question's been asked before, and i think the answer was "nope, bad hacks only" :/
Fair enough. I'll have to hunt down some r8 shit then.

Also, Executioneer, your avatar is fruiting awesome. I dig it.
OH GOD
Mar 5th, 2009, 12:19 AM
starcon2 foreva <3
Member
Mar 5th, 2009, 05:50 PM
Every time I think the bar on good taste has been lowered enough, another rom hack comes out. .-.

Also, is it just me, or is "butt babies", like, the worst-sounding phrase ever heard?
Evil ROMhacker
Mar 5th, 2009, 06:17 PM
Just to clarify a few things that were not very apparent. Syphilis Sally is actually a character taken from one of my earlier more obscure hacks. Her projectile is infected menstrual blood. In the Night Voyeur stage of Little Remo, Remo is actually dreaming that he is the Night Voyeur. The hairy orange puddle with the Sex Goddess was intended to be a vagina sliding across the floor that pops open and the Sex Goddess slides up out of.
The Ugly Puckling
Mar 5th, 2009, 06:46 PM
Well, those are some pretty terrifying clarifications.
Forum Virgin
Mar 6th, 2009, 03:56 AM
Wow.....that was freakin weird.

These hack reviews are still my favorite things on this site.
The Magnificent Bastard
Mar 6th, 2009, 10:35 PM
So Jomb, is this your grand finale or is there some other hilariously perverted ROM-hack in the works to top even this one?
Evil ROMhacker
Mar 7th, 2009, 05:15 AM
I'm going to top this one with yet another first i have in the works right now. As far as ROM-hacking goes, it's one of my hobbies and i'll keep at it when i have free time and feel inspired. Whether or not it tops this one is in the eye of the beholder. There are still alot of characters that have stories which need told.
Forum Chaos Lord
Mar 8th, 2009, 03:38 AM
My god, he exists.

I thought Jomb was just a rumor - a myth, a story told to scare children with tales of ROM hacks of such utter depravity as to boggle the mind. To think that he actually is out there....

God, that's frightening as hell.
Forum Virgin
Mar 8th, 2009, 08:32 AM
I dunno, these always seemed to perfect to be real. I have my doubts about the authenticity, and could easily see I-Mockery people making them. In any case, pretty silly.
The Glum Cunt
Mar 9th, 2009, 09:35 PM
I can vouch for Jomb being Jomb. Of course you'll probably think that I am him creating another account, but I am another rom hacker who knows Jomb from another forum and that was indeed him. He's a super terrific guy.
Pickled Patriarch
Mar 9th, 2009, 09:57 PM
k0k0, I know you're another rom hacker and we received your submission not too long ago. We're definitely going to be reviewing it in the future. I'm not gonna say what it is here or anything more about it because I don't want to spoil the surprise for people, but thanks for sending it in. Looks like Jomb and the other crazy hackers out there really inspired you.
Oozes machismo
Mar 9th, 2009, 10:12 PM
Judging by his avatar, I'm sure it's going to be.... interesting.
☆☆☆☆☆
Mar 9th, 2009, 10:14 PM
koko nuts!
The Glum Cunt
Mar 10th, 2009, 01:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mockery View Post
k0k0, I know you're another rom hacker and we received your submission not too long ago. We're definitely going to be reviewing it in the future. I'm not gonna say what it is here or anything more about it because I don't want to spoil the surprise for people, but thanks for sending it in. Looks like Jomb and the other crazy hackers out there really inspired you.

Ohhh...I'm excited. I have sent about 4 in so even I don't know! And yeah, Jomb is defenitely an inspiration. If one day I could be considered little Jomb or maybe Jomb's wang, it'd be an honor.
Forum Chaos Lord
Mar 10th, 2009, 03:22 AM
http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image...ine=1236645199

Oh, scrod. I know those testicles.

Mario 2 hack off the port bow, captain. Shields up, weapons online.
The Glum Cunt
Mar 10th, 2009, 05:20 AM
You actually never know. Mario 2 (jew fighter) was my first real bad hack. And I have 4 other ones, so you just never know.
Pickled Patriarch
Mar 10th, 2009, 05:50 AM
And on that note, we now return you to the topic at hand... a classy rom hack known as "Abnormal Family: Butt Babies & Tranny Tramps."
Oozes machismo
Mar 10th, 2009, 06:02 AM
LMAO @ "Don't forget to wipe your ass, folks!"

I don't think Tommy Toilet is really a bad guy so much as he's mixed up with a shitty crowd.
The Glum Cunt
Mar 10th, 2009, 02:43 PM
Tommy Toilet is pure evil. I mean, he eats poopies. If I ate poopies, something would be wrong with me. If anyone has a sad tale to tell, it's Cockulese. He was raised by the wrong side of the family. A troubled youth taken to evil because he had no choice and a cock for a face. If things turned out differently, you could be playing as him fighting butt babies. I'll wait a moment for that to stop blowing your mind.
Evil ROMhacker
Mar 10th, 2009, 08:35 PM
Koko, you crazy perverted monkey. I already have a wang.

Tommy Toilet is a character created by my all-time favorite underground cartoonist R. Crumb (so are the snoids for that matter). I put him in my hack as an homage to a great artist. So yea, Tommy basically got mixed up with the wrong crowd.
Here is Crumb's Tommy: http://www.deniskitchen.com/Merchant..._Code=SP_Tommy

Funny Koko should mention Cockules as a youth, because i have a backstory for him in which he was childhood friends with Jooz. At one time i considered hacking tiny toons or something like that and putting in baby Cockules and baby Jooz.
Forum Virgin
Mar 22nd, 2009, 01:55 PM
The phrase from the manual 'Be sure to stop playing Sega Genesis once in awhile to at least attempt to get laid.' made me genuinely laugh.
Forum Chaos Lord
Mar 23rd, 2009, 01:51 AM
Quote:
I mean this hack has the dubious distinction of being the first to cause me actual, physical pain.
Second, Boogie. I thought that Mario 2 hack with the flashing, epilepsy-inducing backgrounds was the first.
Pickled Patriarch
Mar 23rd, 2009, 03:21 AM
Jaimas, you must be referring to Disco Mario. That wasn't Boogie who reviewed that rom hack, it was Fat Satan. He, Boogie and myself have all reviewed hacks over time... and I'm sure there are future ones in store for us that will cause even more pain.
Forum Virgin
May 30th, 2009, 04:01 AM
this game is just plain hilarious....nasty but none the less funny
GoldMember
Sep 1st, 2009, 08:35 AM
Man I must have just not come here for over a year and a half or something, no idea why not D:
Anyway, I think Jomb is actaully kinda cool (ish) at least he can spell for the most part and his ROMS all seems to just be a sick joke (I hope)
Legendary Samurai Warrior
Jun 1st, 2010, 03:13 AM
Man Jomb out did himself this time. Only Jomb would waste himself on a game like this. God bless his perverted little heart. I wonder what Jomb's next creation will be like. Disturbing as hell man.
Forum Virgin
Dec 4th, 2010, 04:32 PM
I actually played this on my real Sega Genesis :3

Click here to return to the Rom Hacks homepage