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Hacked Rom Reviews!

MegaFAG!
-a rom hack of "MegaMan 6" for the NES-
review by:
Feral Mew


As of this moment, I take back anything negative that I have ever uttered about anyone or anything in all of creation. All of my disgust and enmity is now pointed squarely at this beast from the most deeply perverted depths of electro-mechanical perversion:

MegaCrap 2: MegaFAG

Somehow I doubt there's any real copyright on this crap.

P3:IND... a winner you are not.

Yay for ebonics!

Damn I missed Fuckfests 1998-2002, but I'll be sure to attend the one in 2003!

after ass... after ass... after ass...

The people want to know! WHY???

So what, now you're humping the earth? That's what it looks like!

LEAVE MY MOM OUT OF THIS! >:(

HE TALKED ABOUT MOM! LET'S GET HIM!

Awww, a cute lil' penis next to the "Press Start" button. This game is going to be so good. (or not)

I stared grimly at the penis pointing at 'PRESS START', knowing full well that nothing but pain and terror awaited beyond this threshold. Where MegaCrap had been delightfully inane, MegaFAG was all business.

The business of saying 'fuck' and 'fag' a whole lot.

Somebody actually took the time to draw all of these new stupid portraits

Here we see the 8 fierce fuckers in question. No doubt, these lovingly rendered character portraits speak volumes about the wonders that await.

KICK SOME ASS!

Off I go, to save my mom from the evil Dr. Dyke. I noticed that the enigmatic "Gaybos" from MegaCrap are all but extinct, and I began to understand the nature of their original mission. They didn't want to destroy my dick just for the hell of it, they were trying to save the universe from it's corrupting influence. :0 Here's a quick glimpse of this terrible future world.

HO! He must have to do hand-stands to take a piss :(

Our hero, HO, wielding his mighty penis. In the years following the failure of the noble Gaybos, it became disproportionately gigantic. Thus MEGAFAG was born.

KILL 'EM HOLO-PENIS, KILL 'EM!

Instead of firing little turds or whatever, MegaFAG is armed with a cannon that fires a fierce negatively-charged holographic representation of his penis.

PENILE PROJECTILES!

PENILE PROJECTILES!

PENILE PROJECTILES!

PENILE PROJECTILES!

PENILE PROJECTILES!

Because of the severe technological regression resulting from MegaFAG's immense dark energies, the weapon of choice for the ambient population and militias has become a crude device that launches multiple slow-moving penile projectiles. It is also commonly utilized for turrets and strategic emplacements.

Well, you can't have money grow on a tree, but penises are totally possible!

Not even the native flora and fauna remained unscathed, as illustrated by this glowing penis tree.

OMG! THE GAYBOS FROM 'MEGACRAP' ARE BACK!

One of the last remaining vestiges of the Gaybo civilization, the legendary Gaybo Homocombobulatrix still exists deep under the earth, mindlessly creating soldiers to combat the long forgotten catastrophe of 7XXX BC...

Every time he jumps it's like he's trying to gobble down his lil' winky! :0 scary.

Of course, my true enemies of the moment were Dr. Dyke's evil robots. As a startling new twist, these robots now have bizarre meaningless stat ratings, hometowns and titles of nobility:

Buttfuckman! Buttfuckman!

I GOT LOADSHOT.

BUTTFUCKMAN: MASTER OF SPEW, ICE JIZ ISLE

Buttfuckman's Santa hat makes him totally impervious to the cold on the freezing tundra of Ice Jiz Isle. His ultimate attack, LOADSHOT, calls forth a flurry of huge demonic snowflakes from the dark war-torn future of a doomed world in the cryogenic dimension.

Erectionman! Erectionman!

I GOT SILVSPEW.

ERECTIONMAN: MASTER OF ERECTION, ASSPIPE ALCOVE

Long ago, when the ancient nomadic Indians of Asspipe Alcove recognized the coming disaster, they created Erectionman to safeguard them from the threat of outside invasion. His SILVSPEW technique is arguably the most powerful token Indian attack ever conceived.

Fagbashman! Fagbashman!

I GOT ELECJIZ AND SHIT T-PARTS

FAGBASHMAN: VOYEURIST, SHITTY CITY

Formerly "HALFHORSEHALFMANMAN", Fagbashman was a tournament level street fighter in the ghettos of Shitty City. Though he has no particular interest in Dr. Dyke's lofty ideals, his immeasurable hatred of "faggotry" incites him to cooperate... for now. His ELECJIZ assault has the frightening ability to stop time for a few moments while innumerable penii erupt from from the walls. He is never seen without his amulet constructed of SHIT T-PARTS, rumored have some connection with his mysterious past.

Orgasmman! Orgasmman!

I GOT SPEWTIP

ORGASMMAN: MASTER OF PENIS, ORGASM CHASM

Hailing from the mystical Orgasm Chasm, Orgasmman is the mightiest samurai warrior in all creation. Though revered by the peace loving inhabitants of his homeland, Orgasmman must live as a recluse, as his power is so chaotic that he kills everyone he meets. His ancient assault, SPEWTIP, launches a crystallized shard of the ethereal realm that uncontrollably wavers between realities. It is renowned for it's ability to kill swiftly and silently, while never drawing blood from it's victims.

Pussyman! Pussyman!

I GOT PUSSY. B AND BLACKCUM ADAPTOR.

PUSSYMAN: YEAST INFECTED, BULLSHIT BAYOU

In antiquity, the plant people of Bullshit Bayou lived in harmony with magnanimous Gaybos. Preparing for the possible failure of their holy mission to destroy your Dick, the Gaybos created Pussyman to safeguard their friends from corruption. Pussyman utilizes the PUSSY BARRIER to deflect even the most powerful of destructive energies, and the BLACKCUM ADAPTOR to project razor sharp flower petals at aggressors.

Shitman! Shitman!

I GOT CUMBOMB.

SHITMAN: MASTER OF SHIT, IRON TESTE TOWER

High atop Iron Teste Tower, Shitman has lived for countless millennia, immune to the infestation that has plagued the tiny creatures on the world below. Though peaceful by nature, when threatened he doesn't hesitate to launch his CUMBOMB which... ug... this game is so vile. Someone kill me now... pleeeeeeeeeeeassseeee...

Spermman! Spermman!

I GOT HOTJISM AND COW SPERM ADAPTOR.

SPERMMAN: MASTER OF SPERM, ANUS HILL

A mysterious warrior spawned in the arid wastes of Anus Hill. When his parents were driven mad by the terrible influence of MegaFAG's Dick, Spermman swore to one day strike vengeance against this omnipresent enemy. His HOTJISM attack summons searing fire from the furthest reaches of Hades, and his COW SPERM ADAPTOR, though never utilized in combat, is said to be infused with the rabid souls of the undead.

Vaginaman! Vaginaman!

I GOT VAGINA. C.

VAGINAMAN: MASTER OF BATION, RAPE VALLEY RUN

Vaginaman is the last surviving member of an order of knights dedicated to purity of essence. Shunning all penile technology, he utilizes archaic weaponry to dispatch those that he considers to be foes of the natural world. His VAGINA CANNON has the power to instantly level any man-made structure, returning it to equilibrium.

OH NO! IT'S DR. DYKE AND HIS HUGE BALL OF DYKENESS!

Finally I encountered the mastermind, Dr. Dyke, piloting his insidious ball and chain vehicle. The titanic battle mostly involved me standing still in the corner and pressing the fire button whenever I got the urge. Then all of a sudden...

FAILD! FAILD! FAILD!

Raaaaaar!

BRING IT ON!

WILY!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD. IT WAS WILY ALL ALONG! :0 Or 'ASSPLUG', as he's known in the MegaFAG universe.

EEK! IT'S A BIG ANGRY SKULL THING!

PREPARE TO DIE!

YOU'RE GOIN DOWN WILY! (and I don't mean that in a sexual way)

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD WILY!

Though brilliant, I somehow managed to overcome ASSPLUG's 'hopping back and forth' strategy. The end was in sight. The game has concluded. Finally I could get to work on wrenching this look of disgust that has been engraved on my face for the duration of this experience. Oh wait... THE ENDING.

Why 'NES' is on his mouth is beyond me. Another rom hack mystery goes unsolved...

I'LL BE BAAAAAACK!!!!!

Behind bars where he belongs, along with the creator of this game.

breaking news!

eugh...

Great! Broomstick ramming! Just what I was hoping for in an ending!

Vigorous what?

I should have known...

Well that was pleasant. You know what? I'm never playing another videogame again. In fact, I'm never talking to another person ever again, just because there remains that 1 in a 100 billion chance that they might have had some hand in this... the most hideous travesty in the history of humanity. Luckily, there immediately followed a list which credited all of those who were responsible:

Dicklord Bone... that would be a good band name.

Look! It says "nippy!" hee hee

FATFUCK JUICY. It's the worst tasting juice on earth. >:(

Tit-Tit... is that like Little Caesar's 'Pizza, Pizza' slogan?

Belch-Worm... another fine band name just waiting to be used.

TO BE MOLESTEDD (the extra 'D' is obviously there for emphasis, because there's no way it could be a typo... right?)

TO BE MOLESTEDD...

I'm gonna go hunt me a rom hacker >:0
Feral Mew



You too can play MegaFAG!

[CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE MEGAFAG ROM FOR THE NES!]

[CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE NES EMULATOR]


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