Shorts

Protoclown's 2008 Movie Awards
by: Protoclown

It's that Oscary time of the year again, where the movies from 2008 get the "recognition" they "deserve". But why waste your time watching the Oscars when you could read my far superior movie awards list? Obviously since I myself am not an academy or a committee or even an unruly street gang, I can only speak from my own personal experience. If I haven't seen it, it can't make my list, unless I feel like talking at length about something I know nothing about (which I do often). But you should know that I'm always right anyway, so my word can be trusted implicitly (that previous statement is the only thing I've ever been wrong about).

Like last year's awards, the Oscars will have already taken place by the time you read this, but I write this on Sunday afternoon, before the winners are announced. So if there are any "coincidences" in our choices, you should know that they hacked into my computer, looked at my notes, and obviously copied me. They can expect a lawsuit shortly.

I've made no secret of the fact that The Dark Knight was by far my favorite film of 2008, so I'm going to try very hard not to award it in the few positive categories I do.

Here are this year's categories:

Worst Raping of a Classic Franchise

The nominees are:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Speed Racer
The X-Files: I Want To Believe

And the winner is:


Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Like anyone's surprised. Anyone who hadn't given up on X-Files when Mulder left probably has an unhealthy obsession with Gillian Anderson, and Speed Racer was never any good anyway--I just included it so I'd have more than two choices here. But Indiana Jones was so insanely good back in the day. Having grown up with the original three movies, the characters are near and dear to me, and witnessing the brutal rape of one of my childhood heroes was almost more than I could take. At first I came out of the theater thinking "Okay, it wasn't as good as the others, but it wasn't that bad", but that was just the initial numbness and disbelief. After that wore off, all I could think of was Indy in the fridge, and "Mutt" brachiating with the monkeys. The wailing and gnashing of teeth that went along with seeing this movie was of fucking Biblical proportions.

Holy Shit This Movie is Brutal Award

The nominees are:

The Dark Knight
Gran Torino
Rambo
Beverly Hills Chihuahua

And the winner is:


Rambo

There is just no contest. Seeing this movie is like a punch to the balls from Edward Scissorhands' older brother Mickey Chainsawhands (and if you are a lady he sews the balls on first and then punches them). There isn't really much of a plot to speak of: Pretty girl's organization is in trouble. Rambo wants nothing to do with it. Pretty girl gets in trouble. Rambo says "fuck it" and starts killing everybody. And that's pretty much the movie. But the over-the-top violence is insanely intense, and the computer generated effects enhance the gore without coming across as overly cartoony. When people talk about "brutal orgies of violence" this is pretty much exactly what they are talking about.

Most Horrific Abomination Committed to Film

The nominees are:

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Witless Protection
The Love Guru
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Twilight
The Spirit

And the winner is:


Beverly Hills Chihuahua

Ugh, so many nominees this year worthy of this award. This is always a difficult category to judge because I tend to avoid these movies, and this year I have only seen one of them. And while The Spirit was marginally more traumatic than the invasion of Normandy, there was one two-minute trailer that scarred me more than that 90-minute movie could ever hope to. Note to filmmakers everywhere: having CGI-assisted talking animals in a live-action movie has never, ever been remotely funny or charming. Please stop. Every time you make one of these movies a suicide bomber gets his wings.

Best Sequel Other Than Dark Knight, Because Honestly, Let's Give Something Else a Chance

The nominees are:

Hellboy II: The Golden Army
The Incredible Hulk
Rambo

And the winner is:


Hellboy II: The Golden Army

While I feel that the other two movies greatly improved upon the previous entry in their respective franchises and Hellboy II did not outdo the first one (at least in terms of plot), it was an immensely enjoyable, visually beautiful movie. Few people make movies this imaginative anymore, so seeing Del Toro's (and Mike Mignola's) vision brought to life took me back to my childhood, where anything could happen and monsters really did exist.

Best Villain

The nominees are:

The Joker, The Dark Knight
Dick Cheney, W.
Obadiah Stane, Iron Man
George Lucas, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

And the winner is:


George Lucas

You totally thought I was going to say the Joker, didn't you? But all of the twisted tortures he had lined up for Batman pale in comparison to the ones that George Lucas had in store for us when we went to see the new Indiana Jones film. Spielberg is not without his blame either, being the director and all, but I firmly believe that 99% of the stupid ideas in this movie came from Lucas. He was after all unsatisfied with the previous drafts of the script, and forced rewrite after rewrite (the one by Frank Darabont was almost certainly fantastic) until this pile of shit was what we ended up with. When you try too hard to please everyone, you usually end up pleasing no one. Fucking aliens! In an Indiana Jones movie! It's absolutely unthinkable. And to add insult to injury, ol' George walked around wearing a "Han Shot First" t-shirt on the set, just as a big "fuck you!" to all the fans of the classic Star Wars films.

Sequel That Absolutely No One
Was Looking Forward To

The nominees are:

The X-Files: I Want To Believe
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

And the winner is:


It's a tie! X-Files and The Mummy!

Did anyone honestly give enough of a shit to go see either of these movies? I know I didn't. They may be decent, or they may be absolute crap. I've not heard good things about either, but having not seen them, I can't say for myself! And that's really the whole point. These franchises were well past their prime and found themselves going up against much more interesting franchises that people are actually still interested in.

Stupidest Title

The nominees are:

Bangkok Dangerous
Quantum of Solace
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
Beer For My Horses

And the winner is:


Beer For My Horses

I don't really know anything about this movie beyond the fact that I have no interest in it, the title is retarded, and the movie poster makes it look incredibly craptastic. But as this category judges the title only, I think I'm qualified to call this the winner just having seen the poster alone. "Beer For My Horses"? Are you fucking serious? I can't even think of a situation where that title may have some relevance in the movie itself. And you know, I don't really want to.

Biggest Disappointment

The nominees are:

Be Kind Rewind
The Happening
Wanted
Hancock
RocknRolla

And the winner is:


Be Kind Rewind

Being a big fan of Jack Black, Mos Def, and Michel Gondry, I really, really wanted to like this movie. But unfortunately it was a great big dud. After Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I was expecting all kinds of inventive, bizarre visuals, especially considering the premise of this film. But unfortunately everything from the performances to the set pieces fell flat and didn't really interest me. Jack Black and Mos Def are usually quite fun to watch, but neither one of them seemed to really be much into this one. There was so much potential behind the premise of this film, but unfortunately almost all of it ended up completely wasted. It's not even that the movie was bad--it just didn't come close to what I was hoping it would be.

Dumbest Plot Twist

The nominees are:

The Happening
Hancock

And the winner is:


The Happening

For a movie called The Happening, there really isn't very much that happens in this movie. Shyamalan tries to buck convention by throwing his usual completely formulaic, contrived plot twist into the very beginning of the movie--the trees and plants are attacking humanity and trying to kill us all! What an incredibly stupid idea for a story. They have about as much palpable menace for the audience as one might expect: none at all. I kept waiting for another twist to come at the end--Aliens Were Behind it All! Or Jesus Was Really a Plant! Something, anything to explain this madness away and at least make it not quite suck so much. But alas, it was not to be.

Best Movie That No One Saw

The nominees are:

Burn After Reading
4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days

And the winner is:


Burn After Reading

What seems to frequently happen to the Coen brothers is that they will make one movie that's a hit with mainstream audiences, is universally acclaimed and widely seen--and then right after that they will make a movie that is every bit as good if not better that only manages to achieve a small cult following, while being largely ignored by the general public. This time around Burn After Reading was that film. This movie featured the Coens' usual amusingly convoluted plot, hilarious performances by all the actors, a really clever script, and yet it seems that most people have never even heard of it. If you haven't seen this film but have enjoyed the Coens' other comedies, you should definitely check this one out.

Best Movie I Had No Interest In, But Got
Dragged Along To and Enjoyed Anyway

The nominees are:

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
WALL-E
Kung Fu Panda

And the winner is:


Kung Fu Panda

Since I don't have kids, a lot of "family friendly" movies either don't interest me off the bat or just don't come across my radar. So I'm glad that a friend of mine made me sit and watch Kung Fu Panda, because it was a highly amusing and enjoyable film. The computer animation is just beautiful, and as far as animated movies go, most people preferred WALL-E but I will say that I found this to be the superior film. The entire movie is worth sitting through just for the turtle character alone, who is absolutely hilarious, and not in that "the kids will just love him because he's so goofy" kind of way that annoys me about most of these animated films.

Most Awesome Title

The nominees are:

The Midnight Meat Train
Bangkok Dangerous

And the winner is:


The Midnight Meat Train

I have to admit I've not seen this movie yet, but this is the most amazingly awesome title in the entire history of film. I dare you to even try refuting that claim. Go ahead, make a fool of yourself. The fact that they managed to give this movie a name that just screams "gay hardcore porno" and then somehow get it into American movie theaters is an incredible feat that will go down in the history of cinema as one of the best. If you doubt the awesomeness of this title, the next time you're at a social gathering and find yourself talking to people who probably aren't the biggest horror movie buffs, just casually bring up the title of this film and mention how much you enjoyed it. Then just wait and see for the looks of surprise, disgust, fear, awe, embarrassment and shame you receive in return.

And this concludes my movie awards for 2008. Agree? Disagree? Want to suggest a new category for next year? Sound off in the comments below and let me know!

Questions or Comments about this piece?
Protoclown

If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out:

Protoclown's 2007 Movie Awards
Protoclown's 2007 Movie Awards

Reader Comments

Resident psychopath
Feb 23rd, 2009, 02:57 AM
Lol midnight meat train, where did you find that lmao.
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Feb 23rd, 2009, 03:05 AM
Great list indeed this year. Kudos to giving Hellboy II and Burn After Reading some more recognition, those were excellent films (and yet I keep running into people who hate them with a passion). I've come to peace with Indy IV, though it's presence will certainly never grace my DVD collection. Full agreement on Be Kind Rewind; it was trying really hard and I wanted to like it, but in the end it just wasn't meant to be.

And The Midnight Meat Train is freaking amazing (my favorite horror movie of 2008). The name drew me in, Vinnie Jones' unyielding stare sat me down, and that hammer pounded the shit out of me. Fantastic movie in every way (though it only barely made it into theaters, having been effectively raped by Lionsgate).
Jason's a Furry! Run!
Feb 23rd, 2009, 03:06 AM
I would also like to note that I have seen (all the way through) Beer For My Horses. I would recommend that anyone wishing to actually enjoy it be at least 80% redneck.
in training
Feb 23rd, 2009, 03:08 AM
How could anyone think Beverly Hills Chihuahua would be a good movie.
NOBODY EVEN LIKES CHIHUAHUAS! Their not even dogs, their just overgrown rats.
Member
Feb 23rd, 2009, 05:23 AM
Great list; a few notes:

-I saw Rambo with my friend and Midnight Meat Train was one of the trailers. I whispered to him, "Wait 'til you see the title of this movie." When the title popped up, everyone in the almost sold out theater laughed.

-Gran Torino? Gran Torino wasn't brutal at all. The trailer made it appear that way, but it sure wasn't.

-Good call on Best Sequel and Biggest Disappointment.

-That Beer for My Horses movie comes on CMT like every day. Obviously I don't watch CMT, but i see it on the guide so often it's sick.

-Midnight Meat Train was pretty good, but I'm biased as I really like Ryuhei Kitamura. I caught it on FEARnet (or whatever) as we didn't even get it here, and we get almost everything.
Ba dum dum dum dum
Feb 23rd, 2009, 07:51 AM
I thought Be Kind Rewind wasn't that bad, not really super memorable but I did like it, more or less.

I didn't see Rambo in theaters, my roomate was watching it in our living room while I was playing cards with friends. I wasn't paying too much attention till I looked up and asked him with sudden interest. "Did that guy just explode into a pile of meat?" We all quit the game, made him restart the movie, glad we did.

And George Lucas... damn you George Lucas... damn you
Riot Control
Feb 23rd, 2009, 08:13 AM
electric_ninja: Amen to that. I don't know what's with people liking chihuahua's so much these days anyway. I find in it the greatest excuse possible to make a movie oriented towards the rich and obnoxious.
Last of the Time Lords
Feb 23rd, 2009, 08:19 AM
I firmly believe that Lucas sold his soul in order to get the original Star Wars trilogy made, and by the terms of that deal he must now serve Satan by making whatever movies he wants. It says something that the best Lucas movie of the last 25 years is Howard the Duck.
Retardedly Handsome
Feb 23rd, 2009, 10:29 AM
In the Most Horrific Abomination Committed to Film I'm sure that B.H.C. was complete drech. But everyone knew that from the poster and previews and sharp pain you get in your brain when you think about. Now Twilight is a complete abomination in its own sneaky clever way like Jerry McGuire. Twilight claims to be a movie about vampires and teenage angst, alright I can get behind that. But then all of a sudden you find out these vampires don't feed on people, enh, ok I guess i buy it. Then to top it all off...oh vampires CAN go out in the sun they just glitter. Glitter? What? NO! Vampires can't go out in the sun. I stormed home opened up Preacher shoved it in my girls face and said, "see, look...vampires burn, then fucking explode! They don't *glitter*". There is only one Day Walker that I want to see movies about.
Mr. everywhere
Feb 23rd, 2009, 11:05 AM
my god.

i must see burn after reading. contrary to what you said, all my friends have seen it and they all like it.
The Goddamned Batman
Feb 23rd, 2009, 01:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by neoboman View Post
-Gran Torino? Gran Torino wasn't brutal at all. The trailer made it appear that way, but it sure wasn't.
Letís be clear about one thing. Everything Clint Eastwood does is brutal. When he brushes his teeth, itís brutal. When he combs his hair, itís brutal. And when he donates to a local charity, itís fucking brutal. Gran Torino the film itself was not brutal, which is why it did not win.
Fucking Finland
Feb 23rd, 2009, 02:01 PM
Knowing you're the comic geek I was kinda hoping to see Punisher: Warzone to get at least a nomination. I still haven't seen the film (and probably will not until it gets a dvd release. apparently we Finns are too pussies to have it on theaters), but I've heard that Ray Stevenson and Dominic West do great job, and that the film has plenty of action and gore too.

Other than that I agree with the list, although I haven't heard of the midnight meat train until now.
Just this guy, you know?
Feb 23rd, 2009, 03:21 PM
I didn't see anyone else comment on this -- Incredible Hulk WAS NOT a sequel. It was not meant to be attached to the abomination that came before it in any way... this is the reason the movie did poorly, everyone thought it was a sequel, when it wasn't.
Ultimate Buzzkill
Feb 23rd, 2009, 03:33 PM
I found the trailer to Gran Turino HILARIOUS. It looked like Clint Eastwood is trying to prove he's not too old to do action movies, but the result caused him to play into a stereotype of the elderly: disgruntled geezer with a rifle muttering "Get off my lawn." I couldn't help but laugh, but then I realized I was the only one in the theater doing so.

In fact, I think a great new category for next time would be "Most Horrific Portrayal of a Stereotype in a Major Motion Picture." I had seen this particular trailer when seeing my semi-annual movie in a theater, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" on this occasion. Parts of this movie were filmed across the street from my apartment, and being made and set in city I hold so dear made me curious to see it. However, few things aggravate me to the core like horrible phony "Gone With the Wind" Southern accents; in addition to being a cultural insult it's also akin to hearing nails on a chalkboard. Could it have been so difficult to simply walk around and listen to how the locals talk, or better yet use them in the film? The short-lived show "K-Ville" was plagued with the same faked Southern accent. New Orleans has an accent similar to New York; a vast majority of people here are descended from Italian, Irish, and Jewish immigrants, it was the second largest port of entry into the US after Ellis Island. Alright, need to wrap up the rant, but I'm obviously irate about that. Anyhow, I doubt I even need to mention any more examples for the category; it's practically impossible to see movies without the use of token stereotypes.
Member
Feb 23rd, 2009, 04:45 PM
I think the problem with be kind rewind is that for a movie that everyone was expecting (because of the premise) to be completely silly and out-there it was grounded with this rather depressing story about a small community that was falling apart at the hands of change. For every crazy movie remake they would make you'd be slapped in the face with some more really depressing plot just when you start to enjoy yourselves. It was billed as a wacky buddy comedy but was actually one of those depressing arthouse films. I enjoyed it a lot, I just didn't find it funny and I desperately WANTED it to be funny.

As for the X-files movie, I'll be honest in that I haven't seen it yet. The problem with this film is the HORRIBLE promotion (or lack there of) it recieved. I didn't even know the thing was in production and then poof! A few weeks before it is released these very "tv-movie" commericals start popping up for it. And when do they decide to release it? Between Iron Man and the Hulk of course. The poor film didn't have a chance.
I hate this hacker crap!
Feb 23rd, 2009, 05:15 PM
I just watched Be Kind, Rewind ten minutes ago.

It was disappointing. All those choices were pretty spot on.
Member
Feb 23rd, 2009, 07:58 PM
"Anyone who hadn't given up on X-Files when Mulder left probably has an unhealthy obsession with Gillian Anderson"

Guilty!
It's a jelly.
Feb 23rd, 2009, 08:14 PM
Quote:
It says something that the best Lucas movie of the last 25 years is Howard the Duck.
Thanks Doctor Who! I couldn't have said it better myself. The prequels sucked balls compared to the orig. three. Last Crusade was okay, but still not as good as the first two Indy movies. Haven't seen the Crystal Skull yet, but I might not need to from everything I've been hearing!

Also, who's excited for Howard the Duck to be on DVD? Yeah I am!
I like cheese.
Feb 23rd, 2009, 08:25 PM
How can you nominate Bangkok Dangerous for Most Awesome Title and Stupidest Title?
OH GOD
Feb 23rd, 2009, 09:59 PM
because sometimes stupid things are awesome
SKATASTIC
Feb 23rd, 2009, 10:37 PM
I really enjoyed Be Kind Rewind. To me it was the story that was more compelling that the characters in it. Individually they're decent but being together is what mattered. I really enjoy Michael Gondry's movies but I wasn't expecting Be Kind Rewind to be the "Be all, end all" for movies. I was just expecting it to be good. I wasn't expecting the world out of Science of Sleep either and I enjoyed it. Maybe if I had it would be slightly disapointing to me.
Forgets Passwords Easily
Feb 23rd, 2009, 10:44 PM
You competely dropped the ball on Sequel No One Was Looking Forward To:

Nominee and Sure Winner The Pink Panther 2 with Steve Martin! A gross abomination and immoral debasement of everything Peter Sellers molded into hilarity... FOR THE SECOND TIME! I did it see this movie. I do not need to. I saw the trailers for it and its predecessor.
pickled
Feb 23rd, 2009, 10:51 PM
I need to see The Midnight Meat Train.
Pickled Patriarch
Feb 23rd, 2009, 11:05 PM
Midnight Meat Train was sadly an extremely uneventful movie if you ask me. The story just dragged on and it definitely should've been more, hmm... how would Proto put it... brutal! The best thing about it is the title.
Member
Feb 23rd, 2009, 11:39 PM
Actually, Pink Panther 2 has a 2009 release, and given that these are 2008 awards, we can probably look forward to seeing it on the list *next* year. (Proto, take notes, please *laughs*)

I've got no argument with any of the choices, though I haven't seen hardly any of the movies on the lists. Still, I can whole heartedly agree with BHC. Why? Why on earth would they think this was a good idea? I think Disney is rolling in his cryogenic chamber.
The Magnificent Bastard
Feb 24th, 2009, 02:39 AM
I got dragged to see the new Mummy movie, on my birthday.

It was pretty good, even though I hated the previous two.
Fookin' up planets!
Feb 24th, 2009, 09:40 AM
Always bagging on "The Spirit" man...
Member
Feb 24th, 2009, 01:11 PM
I don't understand all the nerd love for Hellboy 2. Maybe its because I saw it the same day(and after) I saw Dark Knight but honestly I thought the first one was better. I think Del Toro strayed to far from the comic roots and all the sitcom relationship crap was just awful. I just did not like this movie.
Shining Beacon of Virtue
Feb 24th, 2009, 07:17 PM
I'm still waiting for you to apologize for that Best Western joke last year.
Bustin makes me feel good
Feb 24th, 2009, 07:32 PM
Spot on.
Freelance Product Tester
Feb 24th, 2009, 08:09 PM
Hmm.. Let me take my guess as to what 2009's "Worst Raping of a Classic Franchise" Oscar nominees will be:

G. I. Joe
Transformers 2: Rise of the Fallen
Some Other Remake of a 30-minute Toy Commercial
grants but one wish
Feb 24th, 2009, 11:01 PM
i'd have to disagree with the most horrific abomination award, twilight was by far worse. if only for the brutal rape of all vampire lore etc... when in sunlight they burn they dont turn into ziggy fucking stardust.
Who? Me?
Feb 25th, 2009, 03:47 PM
Well, actually, greenimp, I believe that in the original novel for Dracula, Dracula is able to be in the sunlight, even though it doesn't really happen too often.

To be honest, I wish you'd mentioned "My Best Friend's Girlfriend" (an abomination that include the worst thing to hit "comedy"--Dane Cook) or "Everybody Wants to be Italian", an indie film that has absolutely nothing to do with its title, has generally unlikable characters, and tries in vein to be what "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" was...scratch that, I don't even think that the makers of that movie even put any effort into that film. They probably just got the actors and put them in what I think was supposed to be a cross between Baltimore and New York, and said "Okay, so you're two people who think the other is Italian!! Isn't that so funny?? And get this---we're only gonna mention or even do anything related to that plot point only twice in the entire movie!!!! IT'S BRILLIANCE EVEN YZMA COULDN'T EVEN THINK OF!!! And get this---you all play idiotic characters who don't even know what you're doing...so since you agreed to be in this movie, that shouldn't be too hard for you!!" BURN!!!
Who? Me?
Feb 25th, 2009, 03:48 PM
My correction--it was supposed to be Boston.
grants but one wish
Feb 26th, 2009, 12:42 AM
Odd: you do, of course realise, that by vampire lore im speaking REAL lore, not one book, vampires, traditionally, were not like dracula at all, but rather repulsive, bloating corpses, closer to zombies than vampires really, but intelligent, and could never walk around in the daylight, lest they burn up.
Fucking Finland
Feb 26th, 2009, 03:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenimp View Post
vampires, traditionally, were not like dracula at all, but rather repulsive, bloating corpses, closer to zombies than vampires really, but intelligent, and could never walk around in the daylight, lest they burn up.
Quote:
Though folkloric vampires were believed to be more active at night, they were not generally considered vulnerable to sunlight
Quote:
Over time, some attributes now regarded as integral became incorporated into the vampire's profile: fangs and vulnerability to sunlight appeared over the course of the 19th century, with Varney the Vampire and Count Dracula both bearing protruding teeth, and Murnau's Nosferatu fearing daylight
Folkloric vampires were supposedly hideous though, not hot sexy studs like <3 Edward Cullen <3
grants but one wish
Feb 26th, 2009, 05:47 AM
RaNkeri: please, for the love of god(s) and all that you hold dear, please, please please, dont make comments like your last one with a DP like that one, it scares me.
Fucking Finland
Feb 26th, 2009, 06:04 AM
DP?

EDIT: never mind
OH GOD
Feb 26th, 2009, 06:22 AM
i also am confused but am going to assume it means 'avatar' or something similar
grants but one wish
Feb 27th, 2009, 12:53 AM
yeah it does, "display picture" i've been using msn far too much
I b Willies Cookie Tester
Feb 27th, 2009, 10:54 AM
1. Frost/Nixon
2. Pineapple express
3. Sex Drive

willie
Member
Feb 28th, 2009, 10:20 AM
Good list especially giving honors to Hellboy 2 but I have to disagree with Burn after Reading.What a terrible movie that was, have'nt seen Be kind Rewind or Midnight Meat Train although I want to.Also really agree on Kung F Panda and The Happening alas I have made my peace on Indy 4 though
Ringmonster
Mar 3rd, 2009, 12:28 PM
Be Kind Rewind had some awesome and highly creative visuals. In particular the snippets of documentary shown. What were you watching? Spot on about everything else though.

Aliens in an Indy movie, ya. Problem is that if I'm going to give heart ripping occultists and face melting ghosts a pass, I feel I must also give the aliens equal suspension of disbelief credit. Still sucked hard though.
Forum Virgin
Mar 4th, 2009, 04:01 PM
THANK YOU for mentioning 4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days. It was an excellent film but no one I know's seen it. I was gonna give Burn After Reading a go too so I'll definitely try and get round to it now.

Have to agree 100% about Indy though. Those were my childhood movies and it was just so... lame. Kinda left me feeling really deflated. It just didn't feel right from the very start and I was actually willing it to be over about half way in but forced myself to sit through it because, well, it's Indy.
Forum Virgin
Mar 17th, 2009, 06:10 PM
Quote:
THANK YOU for mentioning 4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days. It was an excellent film but no one I know's seen it. I was gonna give Burn After Reading a go too so I'll definitely try and get round to it now.
I have to disagree on that...
"432" - by it's shorter title variant - it's like being compromised to having sex with a trans gender close-obnoxious-relative. I am a romanian, and a nationalist to top it. But this was an absolute awful piece of film about the coercitive and alienating sub-enterprises requiered to side chain excessively punitive laws in a - dare you guess! - redblotted regime ( + some emotional pickles everyone seems to be fond of). But all of this ended more or less with the '89 revolution. And since then there have been numerous exploitations of this intrigue, or more appropriate: 'franchise'. This movie was just oriented towards production value - that's where all the credit goes... but in reality it's an insult to everyone, to me, and to (most) of my friends.
Nuclear Waffle
Mar 5th, 2010, 07:35 AM
Don't forget to put Astro Boy as a nomination for the first category in the 2010 one.
Nuclear Waffle
Mar 5th, 2010, 07:37 AM
Specifically: the Worst Raping of a Classic Franchise category.
Fake Shemp
Mar 10th, 2010, 07:07 PM
Quote:
Don't forget to put Astro Boy as a nomination for the first category in the 2010 one

Lets hope there is a 2010 Movie Awards article.... Proto?
OH GOD
Mar 10th, 2010, 10:17 PM
you'll have to wait til 2011, since he usually doesn't do them until the year is out (notice how THIS article was posted in feb '09 and is for 2008)
Pickled Patriarch
Mar 10th, 2010, 10:23 PM
Funny you should bring it up. His 2009 awards article just went live! Take a look:
http://www.i-mockery.com/shorts/2009-movie-awards
Fake Shemp
Mar 11th, 2010, 06:58 PM
Wow. Ask and ye shall receive.

damn - shoulda asked for cash.
Registered Absoludicrat
Apr 6th, 2010, 01:43 AM
As far as unappreciated Coen bros. films go, for my money they don't come any better than The Hudsucker Proxy. A 1950's Horatio Alger-esque story told as an urban fairy tale starring some of the coolest peple who ever lived.
Forum Virgin
Feb 3rd, 2011, 10:55 PM
Actually the aleins were speilbergs idea
Forum Virgin
Feb 3rd, 2011, 11:01 PM
Midnight meat train is a great movie but the ending struck me as dumb
Console cowboy
Mar 27th, 2013, 03:56 PM
X files: I want to believe was so unbelievably bad. Could be on of the worst high budget movies ever in my opinion, next to "Splice"
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