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Dino Magic!
by: -RoG-

There are a few things in this world I simple cannot resist: If I see a new food or beverage that's colored blue, I must try it. And last but not least, if I see a toy on close-out at Target, no matter how stupid it may seem, I have to buy it because I'm getting this thing for a steal! Now as you probably already know, I've done quite a few pieces on I-Mockery involving dinosaurs, most recently the Amazing Dinosaur Plant, so it's no secret that I dig those prehistoric lizards big time. In today's example, not only was the toy on a close-out sale, but it was a dinosaur-themed toy. Clearly, they had me hook, line and sinker with this one...

So there it was, a Dino Magic Volcano Playset for a mere $6.50. Granted, I had never heard of Dino Magic before, but those damned red close-out price tags have a way of drawing my eye to products like a magnet. So not only do I get a plastic volcano playset, but I also get a "magic" egg with a dinosaur in it? Sold!

So you fill the volcano with water, drop in the egg and watch it dissolve to reveal the dinosaur inside. Well that's nothing too new in the world of toys... I'm sure many of you remember the old Mad Scientist Monster Lab kit where you could dip monsters into a solution and watch their flesh dissolve before your very eyes. While that lab kit definitely seemed more involved than this one, it didn't come with two things: 1) the element of surprise and 2) a volcano. So let's move on...

With most toys of this nature, the one thing the companies want you to do is "collect them all!" and while the element of not knowing which dinosaur you're going to get is fun, it also means you'll probably end up with duplicates if you actually keep buying the individual magic eggs to complete your collection. I gotta say though, they've got some great dinosaurs in this set... not just the typical dinosaurs that everybody's heard of. Pachycephalosaurus, thecodont, archaeopteryx, ornithomimus, longisquama and other lesser known dinos are all in the set. Dino Magic also groups its dinosaurs into classes from common ones to the "ultra rare" dinosaur bones. Let's see what lady dino luck has in store for me today, shall we?

I gotta say, this was a bit of a disappointment. I really like how this thing looks, just like a bright blue robin egg, but it's just the wrapper that you have to remove. A bit misleading since they show a big illustration of one of these colorful eggs in the volcano on the front of the box. I really didn't want to take the wrapper off of the dino-robin egg, but I can always buy more of 'em as I'm sure Target will find more to slap those goddamned red close-out sale tags on.

The volcano playset is compromised of two parts - the base and the center mouth area where you place the egg. There are some bones etched into the plastic base, but nothing too exciting. So you take the two volcano pieces, lock them into place with a twist and then fill it with warm water. They do include a mark for the water level so you don't end up having the volcano erupting all over your carpet... or so they would have you think.

They weren't kidding when they said this the egg instantly starts dissolving when you drop it in the water. Literally 1 second after you drop it in, you can't even see the egg anymore... just lots of fizzing foam erupting from the volcano.

Unfortunately, that so-called water fill line appears to be full of shit because the volcano overflowed with foam. It's not gonna stain anything, so no problem there, but you should be aware that you're gonna have to grab some paper towels real quick unless you want your furniture and/or carpet soaked with dino egg juices. On the plus side, it is fun to watch the volcano fizzing and bubbling with rage, probably because you made the gods angry and now they've come to punish you and your fellow tribesmen by soaking your carpet. Do not anger the gods!

After the gods feel you have been sufficiently punished for your insolence, the foam clears away and you can extract your surprise dinosaur. Hey look!

I got the "ultra rare" dinosaur bones! Awesome. Actually, I'd venture to guess the bones come with most if not all of the volcano sets... they're only "ultra rare" if you're buying the individual eggs. Now let's piece the big guy together.

From the bubbling core of an angry volcano, the mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex stands once again! Boney T-Rexolicious! But that's not all; the gods have granted these dino-bones something extra special...

They're glow-in-the-dark! Actually, I think there's some kind of unwritten law in the world of toys that if a toy is primarily compromised of bones, it has to be able to glow-in-the-dark. Hey, who are we to argue?

I had also purchased another Dino Magic egg, but I wasn't about to make the same mistake with this one. this time I put the volcano in my sink and removed the centerpiece because, in all honesty, you don't really need it. Plus, I can give you a better view of just how quickly the egg dissolves...

The eggs actually feel like they're made of the same stuff that those "5-day fish feeders" are made of for when you're out of town and don't want to bother somebody with coming over to feed your goldfish. Note: do not attempt to feed your goldfish with Dino Magic eggs.

Eureka! The T-Rex bones might be "ultra rare" but in the grand scheme of things, I'm absolutely certain that it's a lot harder to find a Archaeopteryx toy than a Tyrannosaurus Rex toy. Archaeopteradical!

And so, once again, the dinosaurs ruled the earth. Granted, it was just a very small plastic space on the earth shaped like a volcano... in my sink... but by god they ruled it with might. DINOmight!

But then they mated...

And now you know what really killed off the dinosaurs.

Questions or Comments about this piece?
email -RoG-

If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out:

What The Hell Is The Amazing Dinosaur Plant!?


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Dinosaurs Attack!
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