Please don't feed PickleMan
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by: Protoclown and -RoG-

Some of you may have seen McDonald's new "hip" ad campaign that was talked about in this guy's blog and how it was popping up in banner ads on sites like ESPN depicting a guy who expresses his desire to have sex with a double cheeseburger:


Now, this is almost certainly just an embarrassing misunderstanding; McDonald's didn't know that their "hip" little piece of slang there meant that he actually wanted to have sex with the burger. Obviously, what we can infer from this misinterpretation is that none of the corporate high-ups at McDonald's have ever had sex. And really, since they work for McDonald's, who's surprised? I suppose we could also infer that they're a bunch of stuffy old farts who are completely out of touch with the world, but I prefer to think that they've never had sex.

But misunderstanding or no, it's about time for an ad like this I say! We here at I-Mockery have advocated sex with food for some time, and by "we" I mean Roger.
(editor's note: it's true. Protoclown won't have sex with food, but he'll dry hump those tiny condiment packages until they burst.) But gosh darn it, you should have seen how excited he was when he found out about this new ad campaign. Why shucks, he was jumpier than a kid opening a stocking full of methamphetamines on Christmas morning!

Anyway, the big problem I see with this new advertisement is that even though the guy certainly indicates through his dialogue that he wants to climb aboard the double cheeseburger and "have at it", his facial expression does not clearly illustrate his lascivious intentions. So Roger and I saw fit to correct that oversight by offering up some of our own advertisement suggestions. We've even altered the text so that the character's desires for hot steamy burger sex are much more clear.


I'm confident that if McDonald's used one of our ad designs, an entire previously untapped demographic of burger fuckers would come out of the woodwork and start buying up double cheeseburgers by the dozen, increasing sales significantly.

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