Shorts

Toys Have Officially Jumped The Shark
by: -RoG-

Eyyyyyyyy! Do I look like a shark jumpin' waterskier or what? Eyyyyyyy!

By now, everybody's heard the phrase "jump the shark". With Hollywood puking out remake after remake instead of creating something original, and never-ending shows like E.R. currently being in season 249, it's not surprising this colloquialism has become so commonplace these days. While seeing Fonzie jump a shark did indeed signify the beginning of a long, drawn-out end to Happy Days, it at least gave us a phrase that will never cease to come in handy.

But the phrase isn't just limited to movies and television. No, it can be used for just about anything... bands, video games, authors, and even toys. Ah yes, toys. Who remembers when they first saw The Flash and his brand new motorcycle? I know I do. I remember it vividly, because it unlocked an uncontrollable rage which caused me to punch the box repeatedly until I was dragged out of the toy store by security. True story. These days, all you need to do is take a trip to your local toy store and you'll be bombarded with products which can only raise one question: "What the hell were they thinking!?"

Today, I'd like to take a look at one of those toys... only difference is, this one takes "jumping the shark" quite literally.

Somebody, please train a shark to do this.

Your eyes do not deceive you. Toy makers have finally found a way to cash in on the popular "jump the shark" phrase by turning it into the Road Champs MXS Pro Stunt Rippers Shark Jump Challenge set! I found this thing at Target and simply couldn't believe it was real...

Also works with hot wheels? Perhaps they're trying to warn us in advance that the motorcycle toy sucks?

...but when I saw the glorious red closeout price tag, I knew it was a sign that I had to give this thing a shot. A guy on a motorcycle who jumps over a hungry great white shark? Amazing! The fact that it was also compatible with some Hot Wheels cars (which I just happened to have) was icing on the cake. Though, the sad reality was, I should've seen that little note as more of a warning instead of a bonus, but more on that later.

So much ACTION for only seven bucks.

As you can see, the Shark Jump Challenge set is compromised of two ramps (which are not nearly as ornate as the ones pictured on the box, mind you), a ripcord-powered motorcycle guy (who can be posed like the pros!) and a tank containing a great white shark with battery-powered chomping jaws. The shark is obviously the highlight of this set because a) This would never exist in real life. If it did, the world would be far cooler than it really is. And b) They're really asking you to suspend your disbelief here. I mean really... where are we supposed to think the rest of the shark's body went inside that small wooden tank? Don't even get me started on the whole water displacement thing either. But hey, if scientists are able to make motorcycle-hungry shark heads that can function without a body, I'm all for it. If nature didn't get it right the first time around, it's up to we humans to bastardize fix it... right? Right.

CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP!

If nothing else, the shark head actually makes for a pretty good finger puppet. Hell, if you put this thing up against some zombie finger puppets, you just might have yourself a future award-winning play on your hands. After all, you don't know that sharks and zombies go hand-in-hand, right? If not, you have some extra reading to do after you're done with this article.

You've also gotta appreciate the attention to detail they put into it by giving the shark multiple rows o' teeth. It's a scientific fact that the only reason a shark has multiple rows of teeth is so it is able to eat motorcycles. Bet you didn't know that didja? Well now you do. Stick with me long enough, and you'll be ready to win big on Jeopardy.

Warning: Shark Tank may prove to not work well at all. Too bad for you, we already have your money. Sucker!

Assembling the set didn't take much time, but attaching the shark head to the tank was a bit tricky. If the head doesn't click properly with the mechanism inside the tank, the jaws won't open and the shark will just twitch like it's having a seizure when you turn the tank on. In all honesty, even if you do line it up exactly right, the shark doesn't always chomp its jaws properly. On top of that, the ripcord slips through a small space between the motorcycle frame and the rear wheel whenever you try to use it, so it doesn't even build up enough speed to clear the ramp. I guess you can't expect much from a toy that was on closeout because not a single person (except me) bought one. And here I thought all kids out there would love the combination of sharks and motorcycles. Actually, if they made this a toy where the shark rides a motorcycle and jumps through a flaming hoop or something, I'm sure it would've been a bestseller. But what's done is done...

So, with the Shark Jump Challenge set fully assembled and ready to go, I broke out the ol' video camera so you could see just how entertaining this seven dollar gem really is... or isn't. Enjoy!

Questions or Comments about this piece?
-RoG-

If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out:

Bio Bytes: The Joy Of Forcing Tortured Beasts To Fight Each Other!
Bio Bytes: The Joy Of Forcing Tortured Beasts To Fight Each Other!

Reader Comments

Member
Jan 19th, 2009, 05:23 AM
heh, that video made it worth while.
Clap if you love Dynamo
Jan 19th, 2009, 06:18 AM
Seems it would work better is there were a way to anchor the ramps in place, like with good old fashioned suction cups.
Forum Virgin
Jan 19th, 2009, 07:15 AM
I want a shark finger puppet...it just looks so adorable,and i can make it a good alarm clock by putting my phone into it so i cant turn it off in the morning...

Why oh why do we not have these gems in Europe D:
Last of the Time Lords
Jan 19th, 2009, 08:27 AM
I don't know why I'm laughing at this but I am
Amicable Herculean
Jan 19th, 2009, 01:34 PM
I bet if you used the Batmobile hot wheel, It'd be coated in Shark Repelent, causing the shark to explode.
Member
Jan 19th, 2009, 02:18 PM
You know what this needs? MANG LAVA!
Riot Control
Jan 19th, 2009, 02:27 PM
Hey -RoG-, Pentegarn is right. I was thinking that you had some little trouble with the ramps screwing some of the jumps because of how much they move when something bumps on them. I you were to tape them to the ground that might be of help.

Hah, gotta love how you want the powerful Shark to canniablize his card brethren.
LOVES the tubal ligation!
Jan 19th, 2009, 02:43 PM
Man that video was the best part. lol
Kat Kat is offline
Breathes Comics
Jan 19th, 2009, 04:04 PM
You should feed him a zombie.
☆☆☆☆☆
Jan 19th, 2009, 04:08 PM
Jawsome
Forum Virgin
Jan 19th, 2009, 04:35 PM
I have learned a lotabout sharks and motorcycles.
Pickled Patriarch
Jan 19th, 2009, 05:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pentegarn View Post
Seems it would work better is there were a way to anchor the ramps in place, like with good old fashioned suction cups.
Yeah I'm sure it would've helped to some extent... but the fact that you can't even build up enough speed when trying to make the motorcycle move forward is pretty pathetic. But hey, at least you get a chomping shark out of the deal. You can never have too many chomping sharks in your life. Words to live by...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clayman View Post
I want a shark finger puppet...it just looks so adorable
If you really want a shark puppet, I'd recommend looking into the old 90's hand puppet toyline called "Street Sharks".
As you can see below, they were pretty badass...


CHEWS GUNS INTO SCRAP!
Fanboy
Jan 19th, 2009, 06:02 PM
Slobulus has...jumped the shark?
taco loving zombie
Jan 19th, 2009, 06:14 PM
i still have my street shark toy lol not the puppet though
the axe and the smasher
Jan 19th, 2009, 06:55 PM
A pull back toy car probably would have made the jump. Not only for their speedy engines, but would weight a little more. Thus keeping the ramps in place better.
grants but one wish
Jan 19th, 2009, 07:19 PM
something about the way the shark just kept chomping while a range of incresingly random things crashed around it had me laughing like a hyena
Big In Japan
Jan 19th, 2009, 07:30 PM
Quote:
If you really want a shark puppet, I'd recommend looking into the old 90's hand puppet toyline called "Street Sharks".
As you can see below, they were pretty badass...
STREET SHARKS?! Oh god how I loved Street Sharks when I was a lad. Thanks so much Rog, I almost completely forgot about those beauties.

The cartoon was pure genius...
pickled
Jan 19th, 2009, 09:53 PM
I remember those Street Sharks. They were pretty awesome.
Riot Control
Jan 19th, 2009, 11:45 PM
Feeding your chomping shark a miniature rifle might emulate the effect... Turn them into scrap!
The Magnificent Bastard
Jan 20th, 2009, 12:34 AM
At least it was worth buying for the shark.

You ought to try putting it on the floor and jumping over it, yourself.
OH GOD
Jan 20th, 2009, 01:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick View Post
I remember those Street Sharks. They were pretty awesome.
excuse me but i believe the correct term is JAWSOME
Forum Virgin
Jan 20th, 2009, 03:23 AM
Was that Domokun under the shark? Damn Target is milking that campaign for everything its worth! Oh and i'm glad to see in these tough economic times that RoG can find low cost entertainment to provide us with. That is "Change" i can believe in!!!
Forum Virgin
Jan 20th, 2009, 03:47 AM
Maybe if you take the motorcycle guy and give it an "Evil Knievel" paint job...
Pickled Patriarch
Jan 20th, 2009, 03:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tetsu Deinonychus View Post
You ought to try putting it on the floor and jumping over it, yourself.
It may be a cheap toy, but it's still a deadly one and I'm not sure if I could make such a monumental leap over the shark.
Pygmy Extraordinaire
Jan 20th, 2009, 05:36 AM
Oh wow, the video was damn hilarious. I want to get one of those and make a Jaws mini feature.

Or hey, maybe recreate that incredible moment on Happy Days except that Fonz gets eaten by the shark. On film, of course with body parts and fake blood oozing everywhere.
Commarade General
Jan 20th, 2009, 12:05 PM
Hey Rog, where you wearing yout AWESOME shirt with the Shark for this perilous demonstration? (Thanks to you and your article on "Over the Top" everytime I see that part of the film I want a shirt like that).

And on the subject of toys jumping the shark, on this side of the border retailers got their hands on about a million containers of this foul toy:

http://z.about.com/d/toys/1/0/f/O/OperationHulk_001.jpg (Interesting, I can neither add links nor images.)

Why would Hulk be happy? Why would he need an operation? Since when Spider Man and Iron Man are qualified surgeons?

Everytime I see this toy I rage so hard...

-Commanderraf
What Video Games?
Jan 20th, 2009, 12:09 PM
That video made my day, especially when you threw the motorcycle guy in the shark's mouth. OHM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

Great article.
Forum Virgin
Jan 22nd, 2009, 11:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mockery View Post
Yeah I'm sure it would've helped to some extent... but the fact that you can't even build up enough speed when trying to make the motorcycle move forward is pretty pathetic. But hey, at least you get a chomping shark out of the deal. You can never have too many chomping sharks in your life. Words to live by...


If you really want a shark puppet, I'd recommend looking into the old 90's hand puppet toyline called "Street Sharks".
As you can see below, they were pretty badass...


CHEWS GUNS INTO SCRAP!
holy crapcycle!
i had one of those...damn i probably still have it actually...
I collect plush sharks myself at the moment,try to pick one up when ever i go somewhere (latest one is a 20inch chomper from Barcelona)
Member
Jan 22nd, 2009, 12:43 PM
Its like its saying "feed meeee"
The Goddamned Batman
Jan 22nd, 2009, 10:47 PM
Haha, nice video. What a piece of shit toy!

What was that music you were listening to? It didn't sound like your kind of thing, so that struck me kind of weird.
☆☆☆☆☆
Jan 22nd, 2009, 11:01 PM
Lol, he's been hanging out too close to Compton.
Forum Virgin
Jan 22nd, 2009, 11:33 PM
Kinda does make a person wonder just what the hell the manufacturers of this one were smoking.
Pickled Patriarch
Jan 23rd, 2009, 06:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Protoclown View Post
Haha, nice video. What a piece of shit toy!

What was that music you were listening to? It didn't sound like your kind of thing, so that struck me kind of weird.
It's something I inserted into the video actually... "Deepest Bluest (Shark's Fin)" by LL Cool J from the mega-cheesy shark movie, Deep Blue Sea. It's one of my all-time favorite rap songs because the lyrics are so hilariously bad it kills me every time I hear them.
Manmade terror
Hungry jaws of death
Y'all don't cross my depths
I'll pause your breaths
I cause you to sink down forty thousand leagues
Bleeding to death with no arms and short sleeves
My world's deep blue
Killers gotta eat too
Looking for human flesh to rip my teeth through
Other fish in the sea but Barracudas ain't equal
To a half human predator created by a needle
Jet black eyes baby they stare while you sleep
When your Titanic sinks I'm the one you gon' meet
Hearing terrified screams they surround my team
All you see is trails of blood
Even God won't intervene
Nightmares of darkness
My appetite is heartless
Even if we related, you eliminated regardless
In the deep blue, underwater walls
Half man, half shark
My jaws don't fall
Deepest... Bluest... my hat is like a shark's fin!
And that, my friend, is why the music was included in the shark jump video.
Oh, hi.
Jan 23rd, 2009, 08:50 AM
"Om nom nom nom"
Member
Jan 26th, 2009, 03:33 AM
So does anyone else here think the last bit missing the sharks head looked like Domo-Kun from "Domo-Kun's Angry Smashfest!" doing jumping jacks in a pit? No? Just me then...
;-)
Member
Jan 26th, 2009, 03:40 AM
Oh yeah - can someone get the latest Indiana Jones movie on DVD and shoot some footage of it attempting the perilous stunt. Maybe posting that will give them the hint.
Fookin' up planets!
Feb 2nd, 2009, 05:38 PM
I work for the school district in Las Vegas as Campus Security at a Behavioral School (Kids sent for drugs, weapons and violence) and I am sitting in my office and then watch the video that is included with the article and started laughing my ass off like a madman... so damn funny. My boss (the Principle) came over and asked me if I was alright.. I told him no.

2nd, while watching the end of this video I was thinking to myself.. you know some sick bastard is going to try and have sex with this toy at some point. I know F'd up but what can I say it just popped into my head.
sadomasochist
Feb 22nd, 2009, 06:14 PM
WOW roger...nice.........that was awesome!!!!!!! good job
sadomasochist
Feb 27th, 2009, 10:18 PM
almot creepier with out the shark on it!!!
filthiest soap dish
Mar 2nd, 2009, 12:32 AM
hahaha that was amazing. You totally jump a biker mice from mars over that sucker. Those sweet ripcord style ones, ohhhh so gnarly.


deepest, bluest, my heart is like a shark's fin...
Forum Virgin
Apr 13th, 2009, 09:36 PM
lolsburgers
Insane Writer
Jul 29th, 2009, 12:29 AM
Yeah, the ramps look like they're made out of pretty cheap plastic. You need something to hold them down.

Just call in a couple of friends to keep 'em steady. Then you can proudly say that you made homocidal shark jumping a group activity.

And Street Sharks rocked!

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