Shorts

A Message From Suri Cruise To Jamie Lynne Spears' Unborn Child
by: Max Burbank

A Message From Suri Cruise to Jamie Lynne Spears' Unborn Child

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Reader Comments

The Magnificent Bastard
Feb 5th, 2008, 04:55 AM
Max, this was nothing short of fantastic!

I could just see those two hanging out with each-other (and Anna-Nicole's baby, too).

There ought to be some kind of "Screwed-Up Celebrity Offspring Hall Of Fame".
Your Illegitimate Child
Feb 5th, 2008, 06:51 AM
You know, if they hung out, I would probably get stuck babysitting...
after enough bourbon ...
Feb 5th, 2008, 01:46 PM
What I want to know is, how did you get her eyes to look so realistic in panel 14?

I wonder if her middle name is "Comet"?
Forum Virgin
Feb 5th, 2008, 04:35 PM
haha between nature vs nurture, screwed on both counts, and frozen l. ron hubbard sperm, this was great!
The Goddamned Batman
Feb 5th, 2008, 05:43 PM
Tom Cruise's face in that "CRAZY OR GAY" panel is fucking priceless.
Not Another Whipping Boy
Feb 5th, 2008, 07:44 PM
O Brave New World with such people in it, if there in then I want out
after enough bourbon ...
Feb 5th, 2008, 08:15 PM
That last panel makes me laugh hysterically every time I see it.
Waiting for the worms.
Feb 5th, 2008, 08:37 PM
I'm going to go curl up in a ball, drink whiskey, and cry. Tom Cruise is the monster in my closet.
GET OUT
Feb 5th, 2008, 10:53 PM
Have I mentioned before how much I like your comics?
I haven't?
I like your comics as if they were my own offspring.
Fookin' up planets!
Feb 5th, 2008, 11:07 PM
Poor Crazy Tom....
I wish he was that guy he played in "Magnolia"...

"Obey the Cock!"
What Video Games?
Feb 6th, 2008, 03:02 AM
Suri kinda resembles the composite sketch of Cartman in that one episode of South Park.

Otherwise, this is hysterical. I loved the goofy Tom Cruise cameo.
Clap if you love Dynamo
Feb 6th, 2008, 07:45 AM
Nicely done. Can't help but feel bad that she got stuck being Tom Cruise's daughter.

I spend a bit of time every day thanking God I wasn't a celebrity;s child.
Feb 6th, 2008, 10:34 AM
Hell, Max Burbanks daughter has a better shot at a normal life!!!
Well...
From the Home of MST3K
Feb 6th, 2008, 10:39 AM
NEW RULE:

Once you reach a certain degree of fame, you need to have your gonads removed.

I mean hell, they already remove the brain, let's just take the gonads at the same time.
Clap if you love Dynamo
Feb 6th, 2008, 11:09 PM
No, they don't remove the brain, it simply erodes :P
Is a thin donkey
Feb 7th, 2008, 01:08 AM
Max, this is the best thing you've ever done since your Critical Analysis of "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!"
Official Punching Bag
Feb 7th, 2008, 01:33 AM
Brilliant. Somebody needed to say it, and you did it Max. I know I couldn't.
An Arizona Horror Company
Feb 7th, 2008, 08:44 AM
Brilliant, Max!
The Moxie Nerve Food Tonic
Feb 7th, 2008, 10:10 AM
Hey, thanks, everybody. The cartoons are wicked time intensive so I can't do them that often, but I love doing them.
Shining Beacon of Virtue
Feb 7th, 2008, 07:52 PM
I couldn't stop laughing, this comic is great.
Official Punching Bag
Feb 10th, 2008, 03:58 AM
How exactly do you do these comics anyway? Do you modify a photo in Photoshop to fit the style of drawing with filters?

The style interests me. Although at first it seemed generic artwork, a closer analysis revealed a rawer emotion in the execution. It conveys its message effectively without having to be a Michelangelo fresco. I also like the facial expressions, I wish I could make my character illustration faces that expressive!
The Geminate
Feb 10th, 2008, 07:25 PM
Wow.

You are such the artist.

That must have taken months to draw...in your sleep...after taking 1,000mg of seroquel...after a weekend bender of non-stop scotch whiskey shooters and extra dry martinis by the pitcher.
Resident Lurker
Feb 10th, 2008, 07:37 PM
KISS MAX'S ASS OR GTFO
OH GOD
Feb 10th, 2008, 07:50 PM
replace the OR with AND, that'll be better
You'll thank me later...
Feb 13th, 2008, 01:28 PM
What Max isn't telling you guys, it's a true story. He has a couple cameras hidden in the Cruise household.

Maxwell Rainbow Burbank, you should be ashamed.
The Geminate
Feb 15th, 2008, 12:05 AM
I've been razzing Max years before these screwy comment sections existed. If you don't know who you are talking to it is best to just say nothing.
Resident Lurker
Feb 15th, 2008, 01:16 AM
WOW YOU SURE SHOWED ME BUDDY
Oh, hi.
Mar 19th, 2008, 07:09 PM
Thanks for wording what I wanted to say when I couldn't, dude. xD
Imperial Stormtrooper
Jul 31st, 2008, 01:19 AM
Hehe well written. Pretty funny and a great read.
MoReCoWbELL
Sep 26th, 2008, 11:35 AM
God!!! what kind of trainwreck of a person you think she'll be when she grows up? She'll be rich, but a trainwreck nonetheless
MELTING WATCHES, GALA!
Mar 22nd, 2009, 08:37 AM
Tommy's little "TELL THE MEDIA I'M NOT CRAZY, HONEY!" makes me laugh every time.
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