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Shorts!

Thumb Warriors!
by: -RoG-
 

Thumb wrestling. When it comes to sports for the truly apathetic, thumb wrestling ranks right up there with rock, paper, scissors, paper football and those novelty basketball hoops that you can hang above your wastebasket. But what if, just WHAT IF you could make thumb wrestling more interesting? Believe it or not, one company called Radica - which sounds like the name of an 80's glam band - has done just that.

RADICA(L)!

The people at Radica decided to combine all the action of thumb wrestling with the ferocity of monsters! The result? Thumb Warriors! The idea is simple, you wear these grub-like monsters on your thumb and have a "thumb war" of epic proportions. Each monster grub thing wears some heavy (read: "plastic") armor which you have to knock off in order to expose its weak point. The name of the weak point? Why it's the "Trigger of Doom!" of course, what else would you call it? If you can pin down this trigger for 1.5 seconds, your opponent's monster will let out a death cry and you shall emerge victorious. Now please allow me to introduce our Thumb Warriors:

Collect them all... or, you know, just two since that's all you really need.

As you can see, they all basically look the same, they just have different sets of armor and names that range from awesome to embarrassingly bad.

Magma (Red Armor): Not a bad name at all. If only he could vomit up some magma during a thumb war to melt his opponent's face off, he would truly be the ultimate of all the thumb warriors.

Onyx (Black Armor): Probably the best of all the names on the list, you just can't go wrong with a name like Onyx. Once you go black, you'll never go back.

Hydra (Blue Armor): Unless you're planning on having an underwater thumb war, I see no reason whatsoever to have a Thumb Warrior character named Hydra. Furthermore, these toys are electronic and taking them in the water probably isn't the greatest of ideas.

Mantis (Green Armor): Now here's a good name for a fighter. Think he eats his opponent's to celebrate his victory?

Pachua (Purple Armor): While this is one of the coolest looking monsters in the set with bright green skin, he's still got one of the worst names. Pachua? What is this, a friggin' episode of Pokemon!?

Dracul (Orange Armor): Dracul? What is he supposed to be, some kind of blood-sucking monster from Transylvania? Sorry Dracul, I think you should've gone with Onyx's look, because your victims are probably gonna see you coming from a mile away in that neon orange armor.

Now that the introductions are out of the way we can get down to business. I was able to find one pack of these Thumb Warriors in the closeout rack at my local Toys R Us. Since Onyx and Magma weren't anywhere to be found, I present you with...

<3
Pachua and Hydra!

Great, so I get to own the Thumb Warriors with two of the worst names in the entire set. Also, when you wear these things for long enough, their tails (which wrap around your wrist) can give you a nice little rope-burn after a while. But hey, that's just the kind of stuff one accepts when he GOES TO WAR. At least there's one truly cool thing about 'em...

STRIKE A POSE!

When you remove their armor, their faces look extremely menacing and I'm pretty sure these are the same things that Khan dropped into Chekov's ear. But enough about their names and aesthetics, there's only one way to know if these toys truly deserve a thumbs up or not. I know what you came here to see. You wanted to see a thumb war, right? Well then... a thumb war you shall have!

THUMB WARRIORS ENGAGE IN MORTAL KOMBAT! FIGHT!

I decided to call out Dr. Boogie to battle me in a thumb war. He went with Pachua and I had Hydra. We agreed to have a "best of three matches" thumb war to see who was the ultimate Thumb Warrior (between the two of us that is, not that we couldn't kick your ass in a thumb war too). So just who would win this thumb war of epic proportions? You'll just have to watch the video below, complete with totally cliché battle music, to see!


Click above to play.

Questions or Comments about this piece?
email -RoG-

Enjoyed the video? Please rate it on YouTube!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og7YdL2M74M


If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out:

No Holds Barred!
No Holds Barred!



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