The Ninja With One Flaw

Why wasn't he perfect? I already told you. He didn't learn his final lesson about NEVER wearing bright clothes when you are stalking your victim! Weren't you paying any attention to me? You should be more disciplined like Harry. Anyway, back to the story. Harry, being an 80's kid was into all of the "Neon fashion". Fact is, he couldn't get enough of it, he even brushed his teeth with glow-in-the-dark toothpaste because he loved how cool it looked when he smiled in the darkness. Let me put it this way: Harry wore so much neon attire, that he didn't have to worry about a car hitting him while he went jogging late at night, because most of the cars would swerve off the road and crash due to being blinded by Harry's oh-so-reflective selections of clothing. Most of the time this glow proved to be a pain in the neck for Harry since his victims always knew when he was coming for them. However, unless they wore sunglasses, they normally fell to the ground when he came within 50-feet of them. They would scream, "My eyes! I'm blind! Why are you doing this to me??" and Harry would reply, "Because I'm bored and you deserve to DIE." So the neon helped him and hurt him simultaneously. Oddly enough, the neon helped him financially. If any of you saw the movie Batman Forever, there was a gang of neon people who fought the prospecting "Robin". Well, where do you think those neon outfits came from? That's right, Harry. You see, Harry pretty much bought out the entire neon industry, including all the neon items that were found at flea markets. So the movie company came to Harry offering him a mere $100,000 for some of his neon attire. But Harry was too smart for that. "You are insulting me when you only offer me that much for my neon!" The movie people laughed at him at first, but when he slit one of their throats they shut up really fast and offered him all the money he wanted.

Now that Harry had enough money to make his own Batman movie with even better special effects, he decided to purchase his beloved mother Ertisha a nice house in the hills with a swimming pool like she had always dreamed about. She cried in tears of joy when he surprised her with her new home, because she had been living in a cardboard box her whole life and she was in the "Selling-The-Pencil-In-The-Coffee-Mug-Business". So, this was indeed a blessing for her, she could finally retire and get some well deserved rest. She didn't count on one thing though, all of the lights in the house were neon. She didn't mind them really, because she was used to Harry for so long. But one tragic evening, she got up for a midnight snack, and she turned on the light and she started to make her way down the stairs. But she accidentally hit the switch for the main neon light which made the house look like a blazing comet that was embedded in the earth. Blinded by the light, she tumbled down the stairs. There was no wheelchair in her future, just a neon coffin. Harry was devastated when he found out that his passion for neon killed the only person in his life who really cared for him. In anger of what neon had done to his mother, Harry destroyed all remaining neon clothes that he had and instead wore a white Ninja uniform similar to the one worn by "Storm Shadow" in the Gi-Joe cartoons. Unfortunately, Harry didn't know was that the neon would ultimately be his own downfall as well. One day he was watching the news and found out about a nuclear waste plant that was really harming the earth. Harry was very angered by this. You see, Ninjas love nature and their surroundings since they have been trained to adapt and use it to their advantage. So when Harry found out that these greedy corporate schlemiels were harming his earth, his air, and his trees he made a vow to kill them all. "I will kill them all," he yelled. I didn't need to include that quote actually, I already told you what his vow was...ahh who cares. I still think it's good to reiterate so that the idea that these people are going to die gets driven deep into your head.

Harry stormed into the nuclear power plant, he was surprised that they all seemed to appreciate neon more than he did, but this neon seemed to be strange when he tampered with it. In fact, it got into his skin and there was nothing he could do to stop the glowing. Now he was furious. He killed everyone in sight and shut down the whole plant. It was quite a sight! All you would have seen is the color of blood mixed with bright neon colors. Due to his exposure to radiation, however, Harry grew very ill. His hair turned white as his outfit, while his skin continued to glow. He started getting frequent nose-bleeds, and he wasn't even on steroids, because ninjas don't need that stuff. He did some reading and found out that the neon stuff he was tampering with was toxic and that the effects were irreversible. He was going to die, so he did the only thing an honorable Ninja would do. He thrust his sai deep into his stomach and collapsed.

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