Comic: "X-Men: Messiah Complex"
Published by: Marvel Comics
Written by: Multiple
Reviewer: Max Burbank
Plot: In the wake of the “House of M” storyline, the number of Mutants in the Marvel Universe has been reduced to the point where the species will go extinct. Then this super mutant baby gets born and all X-Men associated heroes and villains go totally nuts trying to get their hands on it, to make sure the future they want is the future that happens.
Review: I am so breaking up with the X-Men.
I’ve been reading X-Men, my first favorite book for over thirty years now, but I’m sorry, I’ve had it. A guy can only take so much. I gather this overblown crossover fanboy punch up jizz fest is supposed to clear away a lot of the X-clutter that’s built up over the years, But a) I don’t think the patient can be saved and b) delicate surgery should be performed with a scalpel and this mini series is an industrial backhoe.
The problem is, the X-Men have more futures than the New York Stock Exchange. Ever since Chris Claremont wrote their brilliant two story arc “Days of Future Past” in 1981, every writer who gets their hands on the book feels obligated to add yet another possible future. And NONE of them remember that “Days of Future Past”, which was WAY better than a comic taking its title from a Moody Blues Album ought to be was BRIEF! A tight two issues. Twenty-four years later we have so many over the top, bloviated possible future scenarios even the loneliest X-obsessed basement dwelling fan boy can’t sort them out.
Marvel’s idea of how to sort this mess out seems to be a massive, multi team ultra violent game of ‘Capture the Flag’ except instead of a flag, use a mutant baby. And we know this baby is the key to the whole X-mess futures dealio because Cable, a time traveler from one potential future wants to take the baby into the future, and Bishop, a time traveler from another potential future wants to kill the baby.
It all reminds me of the classic caveman episode of ‘Spongebob’ where a pre-historic Spongebob, Patrick and Squidward run around stealing a burning log from each other. Just replace Spongebob and friends with about a zillion X-characters, the burning log with a mutant baby and the funny gags with page after page of tedious crap.
Oh, and the mansion gets destroyed for about the billionth time. If they throw in a plane crash they get the X-Men equivalent of a hat trick in hockey. I think. I don’t really know what a hat trick in hockey is.
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)
A hat trick is when the same player scores three goals in one game.
I just read chapter 11, and the main thing I learned was that the artist enjoys drawing professor X as Patrick Stewart. I'll agree that the writers at least seem involved, as oppossed to being dragged along kicking and screaming, but to me there's WAY to much noise here for anything interesting to happen. All of issue eleven is spent on X asking cable ""What the fuck is up with you?" and Cable goes "I don't have time to tell you, you just have to trust me!". It's like dialogue from Dark Shadows. They had a whole book for Cable to tell what was up with him and he spent it saying ""Can't you see I don't have time to respond?!"
Follow us on:
Want Your Ad Here?
Send us an email!